Mid-Stream Soggy Mamas!!!

[mamayogibear]

Here's a thread for those of you who are not quite crunchy hippies but still prefer to AP because of aspects that work best for your family. Come as you are and stay to share!

[Dr.Worm]

Hooray!! Thank you!!!

[AFWife]

Here!

We breastfeed, cloth diaper, my second is intact, we co-sleep, don't vax, don't practice CIO, my last birth was a home birth and I encapsulated my placenta...

We don't buy organic (can't afford it), I only use vinegar for light cleaning (I LOVE my bleach), I don't recycle (it's not offered at my house and I'm not going out of my way for it)...there are others and I don't remember them.

[Alenushka]

You know what I find sad? That AP, just like any subculture has gone the path of mimicking mainstream. Rather than being about "attachment and love" it becomes  subculture with rigid boundaries and checklists. I It is clear form some other threads that as long a checklist is fulfil, one is not mainstream and there ore attached.  It is silly and simplistic.

 

AP Parents : Homebirth, cotton diapers, nursing 5 years, co-sleeping, SAHM, unschooling. Child thrives with care of prefect loving parents and  goes to Harvard.   Parents feel that their path was the true one and publish a best-selling book, spin off a consulting service

 

Mainstream parents : Hospital, whatever diapers, maybe nursing,separate room, two working parents who can provide for best school and aftershcool activities. Child   thrives under care of perfect loving parents goes to Yale, Parents feel that their path was the true one and publish a best-selling book, spin off a consulting service

[jezebelle]

I am here, too!!

We use paper towels, toilet paper, tampons.  We eat sugar, sometimes even high fructose corn syrup, fast food when we can afford it, DH eats meat.  My son is vaccinated.  My son is formula fed.  My son has an exersaucer, bouncy chair, swing, Bumbo, Johnny Jump Up, and many plastic toys.  He enjoys sitting in my lap while I surf the web.

On the other hand...

I drive a Prius.  We recycle.  I am a vegetarian.  My husband and I alternate childcare, so baby doesn't go to daycare.  We cloth diaper.  My son is supplemented with donor breastmilk.  We believe hands are not for hitting.  We cosleep.  We use the Dr. Sears vaccination schedule.  The baby doesn't get to watch TV (we only watch when he is asleep).  I wear him or carry him in public (unless he is asleep in his carseat--I'm not waking him up just to wear him).  I strongly believe in attachment parenting.

Honestly, I am so accepting of things that aren't NFL/AP--formula feeding, crib sleeping, daycare, vaccinations...the only exception I have to that is when something endangers the child.  Spanking falls into that category to me, for example.  I may disagree with someone, but I have a hard time getting worked on either side of the "mainstream" battle, except for that issue...

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Other then the confessions I already made on my own thread......

My kids watch TV.  Even evil Disney movies (actually our favs) Right now my 3 year old is obsessed with spongebob and woody woodpecker.  he also loves Johnny Quest, ben 10, and Pink Panther. 

We own so much plastic Im kind of ashamed.  My kids pride and joy at the moment is a 6 year old John Deer Gator truck that I bought from someone on craigslist.  So I guess thats kinda crunchy, right?  I bought used instead of new, so thats like recycling.  We also have ALOT of hand me down plastic outdoor toys, so we arent contributing to the continuation of the destruction of our planet. 

One thing I dont get.  How is it MORE GREEN to use cloth for all things poopy?  Or even glass plates instead of paper plates?  I struggle with this.  Because you need WATER to wash the cloth and glass, and unless you are sterilzing your own water from a pond in your back yard that is fed from a natural stream that is supplied by RAIN, you are using up a natural resource in leuo of creating garabage.  (And actually you could rinse off the paper plate and recycle it) Im not being snarky at all, and normally I would be (refer to my profile).  I am genuinely curious what others think of this.  I honestly struggle with this dilema.  

[AFWife]

My dad asked me the same thing when I told him we were using cloth... "But what about the water and energy that you use?"

For us...we only "go green" when it saves us money. We use the "energy efficient" light bulbs and turn off things when we're not using them because it lowers our energy bill. We're careful about water so we don't pay out the ass for it. (And we're on a stage 2 water restriction because of drought right now...) We  use cloth because disposable diapers are EXPENSIVE. (We use disposables at night and hate having to do that...I can't wait until Franklin is totally potty trained) Paper products (plates, towels, etc...) add up. However, I love papertowels because I can just THROW THE NASTY AWAY. 

So that's another confession I guess. I don't care about being green for the sake of the planet...it's just cheaper!

[mamatalks]

Thanks for starting this! I'm new to the mothering community website and I feel like so many that posted on the original confessional thread. We are neither mainstream or completely crunchy or whatever its called. So its nice to know I'm not alone and welcomed in this community! 

[seawitch]

I dunno where we fall on the spectrum... DS was formula fed though not through choice - I really and truly, honest to goodness, didn't have a drop of milk. I know, "impossible" but it was true. DD self-weaned at 18 months, and my milk dried up overnight. But, she was EBF for the first 6 months. We practiced CLW with both. Both co-slept. DS was born at a birth center, DD was a freebirth at home. DC3 was an unassisted late miscarriage (instead of the medically managed version).

We tried cloth diapers and hated them, so we used sposies. Although I think if we have another I would just use flats.

We don't vax, although DS was vaxed for a few months.

We don't buy organic veggies though when I grow my own they're totally organic, which drives DH crazy. We are pretty poor so we just can't afford organic grocery items. We buy in bulk and cook from scratch MOSTLY, though we will eat fast food as well at times. (I kinda don't like to think about it too much though when I do, it's not real food to me.) So, we'll have homemade jam and fresh homebaked bread and organically grown tea with local honey for breakfast - but then we'll have a delivery pizza craving in the evening, complete with soda (though that usually happens after the kids are asleep, so they don't get any but aren't any the wiser).

We try to live a Waldorfy lifestyle but heck, if we can't afford the wooden version, we'll get secondhand plastic. I don't care about what materials the kids' clothing is made of but I will only buy secondhand (unless it's underwear or shoes). I try not to have characters on anything we get but I will let a few slip in if they're aesthetically pleasing to me or if they bring the kids real joy. (DD is in love, love, love with Minnie and Tinkerbell.) I knit but only use cotton yarn - BUT I'll buy the cheap craft store felt instead of the expensive natural wool. I'm worried about mattress off gassing so that's all natural. I can't live without my mp3 player and DH can't live without his video games, and we even watch some Disney movies and Little Bear, but we don't do TV (just DVD's) and try to limit screentime as much as possible - but that comes and goes in waves.

Eh, I guess we're all over the place! I feel much more at home in the alternative community but I'm the "bad granola mom".

[Farore]

I'm late to this party, but thanks for starting this thread. I often read AP people "confessing" to a particular non-crunchy thing, and I think, "I do that every day."

We're in the same boat. We co-sleep, delayed/selective vax, breastfeed (although none have made it past age 2), and are planning a home birth for baby #4. We also use disposable diapers (I've tried cloth and my husband wasn't supportive), paper plates, cleaning chemicals (when I bother to clean) and waaay too much processed and fast food. As "soggy" as we are, most people in my area still think our parenting is weird.

I know some would find this a poor excuse, but I think some of the convenience foods, etc. allow me to spend time bonding with my kids. Even with these shortcuts, I'm still overwhelmed. That's how I rationalize it anyway.

[WifeofAnt]

Soggy, lol.  What a nice term.   We use disposables and cloth, breastfeed, plastic toys, use both a stroller and babywear, bedshare, watch a good amount of TV, baby food and BLW, some vaccinations, and he was born (naturally) in a hospital.

[Soul-O]

I'm definitely soggy!  While I practice pretty much all of the attachment behaviors, I'm not very NFL anymore, and I do vax.  I have five boys and a DH that is in and out because of his career (military), so I decided a long time ago that it was more important to nurture them with the time I have than to practice the more time and money consuming aspects of NFL.  So.. disposable diapers in, cloth diapers out.  Expensive foods out, cheapest healthy alternatives in.

[newmamalizzy]

One thing I dont get.  How is it MORE GREEN to use cloth for all things poopy?  Or even glass plates instead of paper plates?  I struggle with this.  Because you need WATER to wash the cloth and glass, and unless you are sterilzing your own water from a pond in your back yard that is fed from a natural stream that is supplied by RAIN, you are using up a natural resource in leuo of creating garabage.  (And actually you could rinse off the paper plate and recycle it) Im not being snarky at all, and normally I would be (refer to my profile).  I am genuinely curious what others think of this.  I honestly struggle with this dilema.  

Some threads I read on this site make me feel like this is EXACTLY what I'm expected to do.  And I would so love to do it, in a perfect world where I could live 6 lives at the same time.  Honestly, sometimes I'm not sure how the crunchier members of this site manage to THINK about all of these things, never mind do them.  It makes me feel inadequate, which manifests as self-righteous anger.  But then there are threads like these that make me feel normal and supported and glad to have an accepting, informative forum to come to as I struggle with making the "right" choices as a mother. 

[sesa70]

thank you for starting this thread!

we do not cosleep and my 6 month old sleeps in not only her own bed but her own room. she is formula fed and started solids a5 months. i used to be a total babywearing mom but i just bought a stroller due to constant neck and shoulder pain.

that aside i do love to babywear, we use cloth diapers and i try to be very responsive loving and gentle in my parenting. try is the key word :

its hard to be somewhere in the middle!

[Polly67]

I am new here and looking around the site. I just have to say I am very happy to see this forum!

[Monkey's Mum]

I love the term Soggy - at least we won't get stuck in teeth!! It's funny that on this site there are so many things I do 'wrong' (screen time, disposibles, fast food on occasion , sugar, etc) but in IRL I'm one of the crunchiest people many of my friends know ( recycling, walking places, extended BF, cosleeping LIMITED screen time, OCCASIONAL fast food etc.) I really just try to find a balance of things that feel right for our family and I'm much happier with moderation with most things

[KateDavies45]

We definitely fall somewhere in between

One one hand - was EBF to 7mo, we cloth diaper(not so much because I'm worried about the waste/impact of regular diaper, but because in the long run it was SOOOOO much cheaper than spending 200 a month on disposables to just buy several packs of aio's and wash 'em!), believe that hands are not for hitting, no baby should have to cry alone (no CIO for us), we selective vax, I SAHM so DD does not do day care, and are accidental unjobber's, I try to eat paleo as much as possible, almost no grains, no processed sugar when I can help it, meat, fish and lots of veg. we recycle aluminum cans/some other metals and sell them to the scrap yard on the other side of town, but that's pretty much it.

On the other hand - We don't buy organic (except for baby food, and even then it's a stretch to afford it), both DH and I are internet/facebook addicts, we use paper towels, tampons, etc..., we eat meat (the paleo thing...) lots of meat. (what can I say my side of the family owns a cattle ranch so meat is pretty much required/written into my dna. lol) I am addicted to squirt soda (my one true weakness lol), we own four cars - all very old and decrepit, but paid off and DH is a genius when it comes to car maintenance and repairs, and our dd has FAR too many plastic toys but they just seem to multiply.... and we are undecided on homeschooling.

Sometime I wonder why I can't seem to find any IRL friends that are in the middle not completely crunch hippie mommas who look down on me because my kid lives in a house where we own a television or completely mainstream, working, daycare going, vaxing, junkfood-sugar-french-fry-fiends who can't understand why I don't just get a real job, put DD in daycare and eat like a "normal" person.

It doesn't help that my mom WAS actually the hippie super mom back when I was little. I never had candy/junk (because of course she took the time to cook EVERYTHING at home from scratch) I was BF'ed until I was 4yrs, all my toys and what little TV I had (I think I was around 4 1/2-5 when I was allowed to watch an hour a day) was educational, as where pretty much every where I can remember going with her at a young age (kids museum, national park, art museum, etc). We recycled EVERYTHING, walked/biked/bused where we were going as much as possible, and somehow, don't ask me how because I have no flipping idea, the house was always clean when my dad came home from work.  I'm sure she never let me CIO as a baby- as she reminds me every time DD fusses at all. (I certainly don't believe in CIO but there's a difference between letting a week old newborn cry and seeing my 10mo start to fuss and deciding that I have time to wash the dirt/cooking gunk off my hands, or finish brushing my teeth, or set down the groceries (in plastic bags *gasp*) on the table, before picking her up.) so it's a little annoying that she can always hold over me that she actually was a "perfect" mom.

[KateDavies45]

Originally Posted by AFWife 

My dad asked me the same thing when I told him we were using cloth... "But what about the water and energy that you use?"

For us...we only "go green" when it saves us money. We use the "energy efficient" light bulbs and turn off things when we're not using them because it lowers our energy bill. We're careful about water so we don't pay out the ass for it. (And we're on a stage 2 water restriction because of drought right now...) We  use cloth because disposable diapers are EXPENSIVE. (We use disposables at night and hate having to do that...I can't wait until Franklin is totally potty trained) Paper products (plates, towels, etc...) add up. However, I love papertowels because I can just THROW THE NASTY AWAY. 

So that's another confession I guess. I don't care about being green for the sake of the planet...it's just cheaper!

that's us exactly!

[Mama2ChicknLil]

Anyone else seem more hardcore crunchy BEFORE the baby came along? I had so many plans...cloth diapering being the big one. Ended up being impossible as we share machines with the rest of our building, but honestly? I would have caved anyhow. Frankly, unless you are a SAHM, or there is a SAHP it is impossible...unless you can afford to buy enough diapers to get away with laundring them only once a week! It actually is not that much more expensive to use sposies, AmazonMom, Seventh Generation diapers, Nature babyCare wipes, costs me about $35 a month. Seriously.

Since baby was born we've started using paper towles, paper plates, and a microwave (NEVER owned one before he came along!). I also ended up buying a swing for him because he needed to be held ALL the time and I had so much nipple/breast pain the first 6 weeks I needed somewhere to put him when I was home alone. Also? I gave up recycling after Kai was born...I just can't care about that right now, I need to make it through the day :(

Now, in my defense, Everything disposable I try to buy Seventh Generation (recycled materials, ets), all of my cleaning products are natural, I babywear A LOT (15lbs man...geez), we bedshare, exclusively breastfeed, and believe strongly in AP...despite having a High Needs baby.

I read through some thread (probably the Confessions one that spawned this baby) and I read a post where the woman couldn't understand why we would be running that thread...equating it to a public schooling mama going to complain about homeschooling with homeschooling mamas. WRONG...super bad logic. The confessions amount to complaining within a group. For example, I'm not going to complain gabout breastfeeding to bottlefeeding mamas...they will just tell me to give baby a bottle (most likely)! But I WILL complain and "Confess" to other EBF mamas, because they can COmmiserate with me, which is what I'm looking for. Back when I was a practicing Jew (WAAAAAY back) I always defended Judaism to nonJews, but would complain about it with my own people...it's human nature.

Ok, end of rant :)

[wp135]

I definately belong with you mamas.  I had never hreard of AP until DS was 1mo but it turns out I was following most of the principles, but not enough to be hard-core.

We bed-share but I hate it so DS is in a crib in his own room most of the time.  I BW when it's convenient, BF, BLWand CD.  I'm going back to work soon so DS will be watched by my MIL until I'm off for the summer.  I am very pro-vax.