I don't want to yell at my son anymore

[jenrett]

Hi mamas, this is my first post in the PPD thread. I think I have been battling with PPD for at least the past 6 months, probably longer. It is not diagnosed, but I the way I feel cannot be normal.  He is 12.5 months old.  I can't stand my son's crying.  at all.  If I am trying to get him down for a nap and he cries and won't stop crying and won't go to sleep, I yell at him.  Not so much at him, but I get really angry.  Okay, yeah, I yell at him.  It scares me, because I don't mean to, and it's like I can't control it.  And I'm afraid that if I can't control not yelling at him, what else am I going to do?  Am I going to hit him?  I don't trust myself alone with him.  I've tried telling my husband this for the past six months and he just tells me I'm a great mom and that it's hard and that I'm doing great.  I'm not doing great and I'm a terrible mom who is probably ruining her son's life.  

I just don't know what to do.  Do I see a doctor?  A psychologist?  What?  What do I do?  I need help but I don't know where to turn.

[FischK]

If you feel something is wrong with the way you react to your son and the way you feel about yourself, then you should definitely go see someone. A good place to start is your primary doctor, but you can also see someone else, such as your midwife or OB. It's important that you feel comfortable with whomever you talk to. A psychologist may also work for you because often counseling is really helpful in working through depression.

However, if your son is crying all the time for no seemingly reason, then you may also consider talking to your son's doctor.

Good luck.