Originally Posted by AverysMomma
I shudder at the fact that this even needs to be said:
UC mamas do not need some smartbutt, holier than thou, busy bodies coming through and telling them that their birthing choice is dangerous. Who do you women think you are? Angels from heaven who are going to impart some crucial information that somehow never occurred to the mother in question? The whole entire human population outside of MDC and a few teeny tiny corners of the internet/world are SCREAMING night and day at a UC mama that her choice is selfish, stupid, dangerous and disgusting. Which is why she comes here, to talk about her choice, feel good about her choice and mingle in a relaxing way with other mamas who feel the same way. Not so that you busy bodies can needle your way into her sanctuary and spew your self righteous crap.
"Horrible advice on the UC board has led to a baby dying" - really? Was it your baby? Oh, no, it wasn't?? Then walk on, rubber necker, it's none of you business. I how many times has advice more in line with the mainstream led to horrible complication or newborn death "Yeah, girl, the doctors totally know what they are doing, let them induce you, you are so done being pregnant, give that baby his eviction notice! HAHAHA" - how many times? "Oh, girl, just take the pitocin" "I had cytotec and I was just fine" - MANY more times, "common wisdom" and mainstream thinking has led to complication and death so don't you dare think that just because UC women ---in their striving for gentle, responsible birth on their own terms--- are a huge minority, it gives you the right to talk to them like they are monkeys who never considered that their choice to forgo assistance could, in the end, just like in the hospital, lead to severe complication or death.
Statistically speaking, UC is not more dangerous than HB and statistically speaking, HB is SAFER than birth in the hospital. So keep your ignorant, bossy opinions to yourself. If a UC mama wants to feel stupid and judged she'll go to Thanksgiving dinner, or the grocery store or a doctors office or the playground or taco bell or wherever else in the world there are people with mouths. If she wants to discuss UC in an environment that is supportive of her choice, she'll come to MDC and you will shut your mouth about it because it's not your business or your place to comment negatively.
I will never understand what motivates some of you...how freaking special you must feel, that you honestly believe that in going to the UC board and "reminding those idiots that they are selfish and putting their babies in dangers way" you are helping anyone. The only thing it's doing is helping YOU to feel self satisfied.
Anyway, glad that is off my chest. Sorry for the anger, but I get reaaaaallllly sick and tired of people who feel like they have to stick their noses in on SPIN OFF FORUMS that they don't agree with.
My vote is for a happy medium. The MEGA MODDING from before made me feel such intense rage that I had to take frequent breaks from posting....but the open snarkiness is hard for some people (not me) to manage and I want those darling women to feel safe here, too. So, yeah. I'm "Other"..."Happy medium" and ESPECIALLY for modding "against" this influx of mainstreamness that is plaguing these boards.
I come to these boards because I think all parents should strive for gentle, wise and conscious methods of parenting/being/disciplining. Also because I am a crazy chicken lady who doesn't shave and doesn't have TV and really tries to be mindful about the health of all aspects of our fmaily life. I like hanging around likeminded sorts. I am the "weird lady" on other sites. People on other sites don't relate to me and they call me names and say snarky things about me. I have very deeply held beliefs about parenting and life that sometimes ACTUALLY frighten people on mainstream boards but which have been kindly accepted and held widely relatable by women on this site. I can't go anywhere else, it makes my eyes bleed to read the words of mothers who CIO, mutilate genitalia "just cause" and feed their kids junk food because they feel like they need more "me time" in the evenings. I'm a parent who thinks about everything as much as I can...I'm trying to give my kids a gentle life, just like I gave them a gentle birth. I'm a high strung, type-A lady who sometimes finds it really difficult not to repeat the unkind, rigid ways in which she was parented and it helps me to come here and get support and wisdom from other ladies. The only reason I can give GD instead of the yelling and spaking that I got as a kid, is because I can stay focused on my parenting goals by staying synched in with mamas here and in my IRL natural parenting group.
The only reason I was able to convince my sister not to circ her son, is because the advice I got here helped me to come at her in the right way....I saved my nephews foreskin....and I couldn't have done it without the BTDT advice of women here. That's amazing. It's just one kid...but that kid will grow into a man with a healthier sex life and sons that HE chooses to leave intact. That's how we change the world, people!! I was so frustrated and tired when I came here for that advice, what if I had been talked to about "It's your sisters choice, don't try to force her, don't judge her, you have to respect her" - would I have been thrown off of my quest to save my nephew from circumcision? I don't know. It can be really hard to AP, it takes so much freaking THOUGHT and I tend to be an over thinker anyway so I get stressed about things and I really beat myself up if I'm not "perfect". You mamas here help me so much to just let go and relax.
That being said, I was a memeber of this site a very very long time ago, long before I had babies, when I was just a young woman trying to come to terms with being a female in these times, but I left because the moderation was so brutal and the mods so completely out of line that I couldn't hack it. When I was pregnant with my first, I knew I had to come back and I did. I got a new name, new outlook and really made a lot of friends here, even some that I had known from when I was initially here. But the sense of community has changed. I see really weird, mainstream things here. A lot of my friends are gone, I don't see them anymore around here. I don't recognize as many faces.
I'm sorry, this is not a place for mainstream mamas to come and voice opinions. You DON'T deserve equal air time and kid gloves if your mantra is "I got spanked and I'm alright" or "CIO mamas deserve respect, too" "mamas who cir (even though they know it's completely unecessary) deserve respect too) - sorry, no they don't....CIO is child abuse, circ is sexual abuse and genital mutilation. Do people who punch their kids in the face deserve respect for that parenting choice?? Where do we draw the line about which parenting choices we want to hear about? Discussing parenting choices is fine....a woman here posting about her frustration at a family member who uses CIO being snapped at on her own damn thread by someone whose input is "I used CIO and it was fine and you have to respect CIO mamas because we all have a right to parent the way we see fit" - is total and complete BS. At MDC, we draw the line at -----AP FAMILY VALUES-----
If you are coming here to learn about circ, GD, etc because you realize a choice you made once upon a time about that was wrong, that's amazing, you should be welcomed with open arms and shown love and given the support and knowledge to heal from the trauma against you and you children....but if you have come to this site because you think "babywearing is sooo cuuute! I'm totally crunchy!!"....but you also think circ is awesome and that spanking is acceptable....you need to keep that crap to yourself. There are a thousand places on the internet to go hang out and get support for CIO.....and in all of those thousands of places, I can expect that my views that CIO is abusive will be mocked, shot down and dismissed as "not being respectful of a parenting choice" - the expectation at MDC should NOT be that "ALL PARENTING CHOICES ARE ACCEPTABLE" - because the point of this place is the celebration of "GENTLE, LOVING, CONSCIOUS PARENTING IN THE AP/NFL STYLE" - period.