Moderation of MDC - What do you think? - Page 9

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by To-Fu 

Hmm, I guess I don't feel like we're "heavily policing" TCAC.  Can  you give me some examples? 

Before we made the shift in moderation style, most of my moderating time was devoted to TCAC stuff; I don't know about my co-mod, but I haven't had to moderate anything in there in a good long while.

I can't speak for A&A but the no religious circ discussion is unacceptable to many pro intactivists, including me. And that is what I took the post to be in reference to being heavy policying. 

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by Arduinna 

Babycenter? I think the rhetoric is getting rediculous when MDC is being compared to babycenter. Does babycenter have a UC forum? Or an I'm not vaccinating forum? Or a forum dedicated to intactivism? 

Right, it doesn't.

The only thing "Babycenter-ish" about MDC now is the new format - white background, lots of ads, reviews, clicks to lead all over the site, etc.; the money making aspects, I guess.

The actual content, however, shouldn't even be compared. 
 

[moonfirefaery]

The ads make it impossible to access MDC on my old computer. On my new computer, it loads very slowly, longer than any other site I visit. On my work computer, half of the time MDC crashes the browser.

There are way, way, way too many ads on MDC now. Seeing a bunch of product reviews on the side of my screen makes it very difficult to view the board, and all of the ads make it very difficult for me to use MDC. They used to be annoying; now they make my computer crash.

Eww :/

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Originally Posted by Maedze 

And this example furious raging with minimal common sense, plus the attitude that the mother's 'perfect experience' is more important than a child surviving birth (and yes, I am well aware of all scientific studies in connection with the subject, which is why I birth at home with a midwife), is the reason that moderation needs to lighten up.

Your statement that since it's not my baby who is dead that it's none of my business is horrifying.    Society has a reason to be involved when people make poor choices that result in preventable injury and death. 

Society has a reason to be involved when people make poor choices that result in preventable injury and death.

You sound like the kind of person who supports seatbelt laws.

If the baby who dies is your sisters baby..or your good friends baby, etc....yeah, then it's "your business"...but a woman on the internet who you don't know from a hole in the wall? No, that's not your business. Just like if I see my sister giving her son soda and cookies for lunch and watch him get more and more obese while she keeps him in a diet of total crap I have a responsibility to say "The eating habits you are instilling in your child will result in an early death for him" - but it's none of my business if the woman in the check out line next to me is buying her obese child a can of coke and a twizzler because I don't know why that kid is obese. I can guess, but I'm not there every day. I'm not close enough to the situation. I want to scream, hurl, puke at the sight of an overweight baby eating more crap...but it's not my business.

You wanna save the world? There are much better places to start than chastising and shaking your finger at women who choose to take their births into their own hands. The list of ways that people are killing children  - quickly AND slowly - is very long. But the point isn't even if you should have the right to step in and harass women who want to birth unassisted...the point is whether or not it's appropriate for you to come into a forum marked ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO WISH TO VOICE SUPPORT FOR UC and start pointing your finger of judgement around.

Don't tell me what my attitude is, I never said a thing about "a mothers experience is more important than the outcome of the birth" - who do you think you are, putting those kinds of words into my mouth. I merely stated that a mother who is told "Look, see this here, this is a forum where you can come and be open about your plans to UC without judgement" - should be able to do just that. You want to judge those kinds of women...find another way....the UC forum is supposed to be a safe place for them to be open about their UC views/plans/dreams.

[moonfirefaery]

I'm sorry, but I find that post hypocritical. We're not allowed to discourage UC, because their babies are none of our business... but, we are advocates against circumcision, for breastfeeding, against spanking, etc. even though those babies are "none of our business." By your logic we shouldn't be advocating anything, or banning the advocating of anything, yet you're advocating banning dissent in forums about circumcision, etc., a breath before stating that the babies are UCers aren't anyone's business.

Either babies are everyone's business, or they aren't.

[Stacey B]

I feel that there should be some more moderation I have definitely felt bullied by some other members. One even told me that I had major mental issues, and it was discussing a homeschooling question. Lately I feel less willing to post questions about anything but purely technical issues. Certainly I never ever bring up any thing about my own feelings any more, though I used to like the support I got through here.

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Originally Posted by moonfirefaery 

AverysMomma:

I don't want to see people harrassed in the UC forum, but someone shouldn't be banned from participating just because they are generally not pro-UC. They should have the right to give advice, participate respectfully in discussions, etc. The keyword there is respectfully.

I'm a UCer, but I wouldn't UC in all situations. I have been known to tell UCers to go to the hospital, to hire a midwife, to have an ultrasound. We can't just ban all nonsupportive comments about UC; we'd be presenting a very biased view to our members, and advice given here would also be biased--which is dangerous.

I also don't like the idea that you must agree with all aspects of AP to speak at MDC. I don't think we should ever allow advocation of practices, such as spanking and circumcision, that are violent or harmful. However, there are lots of ideas on what a healthy diet is and what the best sleeping arrangements are. They are all valid.

The ignore button is a great tool. Let's punish people for their attitude, snark, insults, and rudeness...not because they disagree politely.

Again, I don't believe that anyone should be banned...a few times, when a moderator alerted me or warned me...it was about something so trivial and stupid that I just wanted to throw my hands up and walk from the site forever. I, too, have told a UC mama "Look, this is not good, you have to be seen" - and I have also stated "If I were in your shoes, I would go with my UC plans, breech is not a big deal to ME you have to decide if it's a big deal to YOU" - you know? If you are "generally UC" why are you on the UC board? You're just going to be ticked off and tempted to add snarky, unnecessary remarks.

Why mark the forum "A supportive place for UC women to go, SUPPORT ONLY" - if that's not really what the forum is for. Why not, instead, mark it "A place for UC women to congregate, so as to make them an easier target for people who think UC is stupid to come along and hurl snarky comments and "told you so"-esque remarks at grieving mothers or women in labor. You know?

I don't even believe in a SUPER strict definition of AP. I know women who I consider "crunchier" than me who don't cosleep/bedshare. I know women who are fantastic mothers who couldn't hack breastfeeding and were like "eh, not for me". I don't think that women who don't believe in every aspect of AP should be banned, or even banned from speaking...but they shouldn't feel so free and easy to speak out AGAINST AP practices. There is a big difference between "I sometimes allow my kids to eat some junk food" and "I don't believe that eating a healthy diet is very important" - one of those ideas fits on an AP forum, where we are all human and have to live in the real world where spinach and flax seed aren't at the top of every kids "list of things I wanna eat" - but the idea that "eating a healthy diet is not very important" - doesn't fit here. You want to feed your kids crap, fine by me....but when I'm on MDC on a thread about how to strive for healthier living, I shouldn't have to hear your view, that healthy eating is not all that important. You know? There's a time and a place...there cannot be rules across the board that always fit in every situation....but we need to draw a line somewhere and AP lifestyle choices is where is should be. Human-ness, is a given. Ideas which promote the very things that NFL and AP lifestyles seek to avoid, is another entirely. I don't want to read it. That's why I come here. Just like the reason I go to the UC forum is not to hear what anti-UC people think...I can get that view point anywhere else in the world I want to go.

[stik]

Why mark the forum "A supportive place for UC women to go, SUPPORT ONLY" - if that's not really what the forum is for

That's the label on the private UC lounge that you have to be approved for access to.  I can't find a label on the UC forum, but the forum guidelines don't say it's support only.  

[Arduinna]

Excellent point, another example is the spirituality forum. It's support only also, you can't go into someones spirit thread and tell them their religion is wrong. If UC is support only there is no place for random alarmist posts against the general practice of UC. Not to say that legit concern about a problem that a UCers asks for advice about can't be given, it should be. 
 

Originally Posted by AverysMomma 

Why mark the forum "A supportive place for UC women to go, SUPPORT ONLY" - if that's not really what the forum is for. Why not, instead, mark it "A place for UC women to congregate, so as to make them an easier target for people who think UC is stupid to come along and hurl snarky comments and "told you so"-esque remarks at grieving mothers or women in labor. You know?

I

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by To-Fu 

Hmm, I guess I don't feel like we're "heavily policing" TCAC.  Can  you give me some examples? 

Before we made the shift in moderation style, most of my moderating time was devoted to TCAC stuff; I don't know about my co-mod, but I haven't had to moderate anything in there in a good long while.

Your co-mod agrees!

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Originally Posted by moonfirefaery 

I'm sorry, but I find that post hypocritical. We're not allowed to discourage UC, because their babies are none of our business... but, we are advocates against circumcision, for breastfeeding, against spanking, etc. even though those babies are "none of our business." By your logic we shouldn't be advocating anything, or banning the advocating of anything, yet you're advocating banning dissent in forums about circumcision, etc., a breath before stating that the babies are UCers aren't anyone's business.

Either babies are everyone's business, or they aren't.

I'll say it one more time, because I know it's sometimes hard to read my words in the "wall of text" style that I post them. I'll make this simple and easy for you to digest:

You can think whatever you want in your own head, in real life, etc. You can say whatever you want in your own head, in real life, etc. You should -not- be able to say whatever you want to women on a forum that specifically states that you CANNOT say certain things. If a womans baby on the UC board dies during her birth, it is not your business or place to say anything negative about it, because you do not know the situation, the baby, the mother, or anything else other than what has been posted on the UC board.

It's kind of like how, I know and am friends with a ton of gay and lesbian folks. But I fully support the rights of the Boy Scouts to be gigantic a-holes and ban gay men from serving as pack leaders. Not because I believe that children need to be protected from gay men, but because it's none of my business to tell a private organization who can and can't join their club. I CAN decide not to be a part of their club, because I don't like their attitude toward the gay and lesbian community....just like YOU have a right not to be a part of MDC, because they CLEARLY support a place for women to go and WITHOUT JUDGEMENT discuss UC and their plans openly. If you don't like the idea of a place where women who have MADE THE DECISION to UC can come and openly talk about their plans without dissenting opions about UC, go someplace else.

We champion the no-circ cause here.....we have a "case against circ" forum.

We champion birth choice here....we have a "UC Support" forum.

There is no forum here for pro-circ discussion, pro-CIO discussion, etc. Just like there is no board here for "anti-UC" discussion. This all seems so simple to me. I am a member of MDC so that I can advocate breastfeeding, intact children, non-vaccination, healthy living, gentle discipline \ and talk about UC without the buzzing of negativity from anti-UC folks in my ear. Period.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow 

Originally Posted by To-Fu 

Hmm, I guess I don't feel like we're "heavily policing" TCAC.  Can  you give me some examples? 

Before we made the shift in moderation style, most of my moderating time was devoted to TCAC stuff; I don't know about my co-mod, but I haven't had to moderate anything in there in a good long while.

Your co-mod agrees!

I'll give you an example, I've had my posts edited more than once for completely silly things, like the OP posted that she thanked God that her dh prayed about their decision and decided that leaving the baby intact was the right choice ( no discussion of actual religion was had at all in the thread). And I replied something like, "he's a keeper for listening to God" or something. Again, no religion mentioned. My post was deleted for discussing "religion". It's just silly. 

Also the fact that we aren't allowed to use the word mutilation. 

[mamakay]

If the baby who dies is your sisters baby..or your good friends baby, etc....yeah, then it's "your business"...but a woman on the internet who you don't know from a hole in the wall? No, that's not your business.

WOW.

Ok, we're just going to have to agree to disagree there.

[Lillitu]

I have been dressed that this forum has decayed the way it has- with people posting about topics that have no business being on an AP forum "don't flame me, but I spank" for example. Folks can go elsewhere for advice for spanking parents, we don't need that here.

I also saw a horrible new person berate poor women on a thread not once but 6 times and there was no mod step in whatsever. I have yet to hear anything after flagging the posts. Sigh. I miss THE COMMUNITY. This doesn't feel like a community anymore.

[mamakay]

I am a member of MDC so that I can advocate breastfeeding, intact children, non-vaccination, healthy living, gentle discipline \ and talk about UC without the buzzing of negativity from anti-UC folks in my ear. Period.

With the exception of infant CIO, spanking/yelling/shaming, and religious circ, you don't have a right to not be challenged here. All as it should be, IMO.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I think that there is a medium ground between being overly moderated and no moderation at all. I do think that for the most part people are capable of moderating themselves but in the rare cases when they are not then moderation is needed. I do think that there are some things that should not be tolerated and should be dealt with in a timely manner ie name calling and saying hurtful things.

I personally prefer not to see foul language on the board and think that should be moderated still.

I do think that it is OK to debate issues and it is actually healthy to do so on many topics as long as no one gets to nasty about it.

When I first got here back in 2004 I felt things where nearly perfect in how things where handled and it was a very pleasant place to visit. Then things got way to strict and now things are not strict enough.

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by Lillitu 

I have been dressed that this forum has decayed the way it has- with people posting about topics that have no business being on an AP forum "don't flame me, but I spank" for example. Folks can go elsewhere for advice for spanking parents, we don't need that here.

I also saw a horrible new person berate poor women on a thread not once but 6 times and there was no mod step in whatsever. I have yet to hear anything after flagging the posts. Sigh. I miss THE COMMUNITY. This doesn't feel like a community anymore.

Maybe we haven't seen the same threads, but the threads like that I've seen have been more like, "Please don't flame me - I spanked but I'm looking for another way to handle this", which seems very relevant to MDC. Just saying someone spanked, and isn't in a place where they can handle flames, isn't a problem to me. If someone posted advising someone to spank for something, that would absolutely bother me. If someone posted saying, "I choose to spank so I handle it differently than people here are suggesting", well I guess it seems only fair if that person is open to hearing some outside opinions on spanking anyway, particularly if they post that in GD. I am very very opposed to spanking. I like the idea of people moving away from spanking to feel safe coming here to learn new ways to handle things, but to tell the truth, I don't like the idea of people who choose to spank and find it to be a reasonable discipline tool posting in GD at all. I mean, you don't practice GD if you spank and think spanking is ok, and therefore IMO your discipline opinions are irrelevant to GD. Just my opinion!

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by AverysMomma 

There is no forum here for pro-circ discussion, pro-CIO discussion, etc. Just like there is no board here for "anti-UC" discussion. This all seems so simple to me. I am a member of MDC so that I can advocate breastfeeding, intact children, non-vaccination, healthy living, gentle discipline \ and talk about UC without the buzzing of negativity from anti-UC folks in my ear. Period.

But there is also a pro-vaccination faction on here that regularly debates in the vax forums.  There is as you say "buzzing of negativity" from pro-vax folks here too.

[stik]

As a pro-vaccination person who regularly debates in the vaccination forum, I should like to point out that there is an "I'm not Vaccinating" forum for those who want to avoid debate.  

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by stik 

As a pro-vaccination person who regularly debates in the vaccination forum, I should like to point out that there is an "I'm not Vaccinating" forum for those who want to avoid debate.  

If only that were the case, that forum gets inundated regularly by the pro vax crowd trying to convert us or just needing to put their 2 cents in even when it's OT to the thread.