Moderation of MDC - What do you think? - Page 5

[mrs joe bubby]

I really prefer the old moderation ways and wish it would return. I just don't feel "safe" here anymore and feel I am having some disturbing views pushed on me as of late. I can deal with it but there are sooooo many other boards where discussion of mainstream parenting goes on, why not go to them. My main concern is that the free for all atmosphere means the beginning of the end. I had high hopes that this board would still be here when my DS is out on the world looking for parenting advice one day. Now I'm afraid it's not going to last until he is a teen!!

[MoonWillow]

I think that our current UA probably already encompasses what we need in order to find a happy medium. A lot of what has been happening could be actionable under the "respect" and "comfortable atmosphere" parts of the UA. Perhaps what we need here is just a minor adjustment in our modding protocol. 

It's hard for me seeing members wonder where we are, because we're here, reading right along with them, just not necessarily jumping in. But perhaps a bit more "jumping in" would be appreciated? 

Maybe we could step it up just a little with regard to modding some of the ugliness that's been going on without going back to the heavy handed modding from days of yore. 

I'm voting "other". 

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by applecider 

Actually (and correct me if I'm wrong here folks) I think it's the older members who want LESS moderation. NOT rainbows and sunshine support. Back to the way it was BEFORE the hardcore moderation. At least that's where I stand. And I consider myself somewhat of an older member.

Hmmm...or maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean...

I've noticed that pretty much.  With a few exceptions, most old-timers (pre-2008) want to go back to the way things were before we got overmodded.  I'm thinking this is like "College Freshman Syndrome"---kid has been under mommy and daddy's strict thumb, go away to college and "who-whoo  FREEDOM".  Then they learn to self-regulate.

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by 2lilsweetfoxes 

I've noticed that pretty much.  With a few exceptions, most old-timers (pre-2008) want to go back to the way things were before we got overmodded.  I'm thinking this is like "College Freshman Syndrome"---kid has been under mommy and daddy's strict thumb, go away to college and "who-whoo  FREEDOM".  Then they learn to self-regulate.

Totally.

[gardenday]

Maybe there could be a 'mean & snarky' section for those who enjoy that and a 'sharing respectfully' section for those who enjoy that (-:

Really, I do think it's a matter of what people feel comfortable with and people have very different ranges of how much confrontation they are comfortable with. 

To a certain point, it's not right or wrong, just different. 

To me, MDC is a place to come to exchange ideas and support each other, particularly when our parenting styles can be pretty different from mainstream.  I am not looking to argue or judge, just for some ideas, information and support.

There is a point where people do cross the line and if replies are particularly argumentative or vicious, they should be moderated.  I do realize we are all adults but, unfortunately don't always behave that way.  When I was at the beach last week, I was trying to figure out why the restroom was such a disgusting mess.  If each person did their part, it would be in decent shape, but, unfortunately, that's not the reality of our society.  So, at the end of the day, just like the ladies room needs someone to clean up after others who crossed the line, I feel MDC needs moderators, not to be over-zealous, but to insure the integrity of the site and clean up when it's out of hand.

Thank you.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by MoonWillow 

I think that our current UA probably already encompasses what we need in order to find a happy medium. A lot of what has been happening could be actionable under the "respect" and "comfortable atmosphere" parts of the UA. Perhaps what we need here is just a minor adjustment in our modding protocol. 

It's hard for me seeing members wonder where we are, because we're here, reading right along with them, just not necessarily jumping in. But perhaps a bit more "jumping in" would be appreciated? 

Maybe we could step it up just a little with regard to modding some of the ugliness that's been going on without going back to the heavy handed modding from days of yore. 

I'm voting "other". 

This! I like the less moderation to a certain degree, for a totally selfish reason. I love having time to actually post and not be policing! It's awesome. I also like being able to discuss things that we wouldn't have been able to discuss before.

And yet, I see a lot of mean spiritedness. It is possible to express your opinion respectfully. I think saying, "That's dangerous and you are putting your child/yourself/your dog at risk.!" is respectful. Saying, "What are you, an idiot! That's dangerous!" is not. The whole change to the UA was to put our trust in our members to be respectful and act like adults. Some people seem to be able to handle that freedom, some can't. I have no idea exactly how to find the balance though.

[lovingmommyhood]

Let's not forget the block function, people. If someone is really offensive to your sensibilities just block them. Serenity now. 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood 

Let's not forget the block function, people. If someone is really offensive to your sensibilities just block them. Serenity now. 

[tinybutterfly]

To support the open exchange of ideas and opinions, Mothering.com members are required to treat one other with respect and courtesy at all times. MDC Members agree not to:

• post copyrighted material without permission (see Copyright guidelines)
• upload or link to profane or sexually explicit text and images
• harass, impersonate, intimidate or defame another member, group or entity
• submit content that discriminates on the basis of age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, race, religion or disability
• post commercial messages/promote a specific company, product or service without MDC approval
• post or delete content with the intention of disrupting discussions or violating the guidelines above.

Mothering reserves the right to remove member accounts that violates these guidelines; if we determine that a member violates these guidelines on a recurring basis, we may permanently revoke access to our service.

Here is the part peoplel seem to be totally disregarding.

Mothering.com members are required to treat one other with respect and courtesy at all times.

Really this should be enough. I agree we are all adults. If everyone would treat others with respect and courtesy instead of trying to score points off them, the new UA would work fine.

Putting on our big girl panties doesn't always mean just sucking it up and taking the hit. Maybe sometimes putting on our big girl panties means acting like a big girl and learning to communicate in a manner that is respectful and courteous.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by tinybutterfly 

Here is the part peoplel seem to be totally disregarding.

Really this should be enough. I agree we are all adults. If everyone would treat others with respect and courtesy instead of trying to score points off them, the new UA would work fine.

Putting on our big girl panties doesn't always mean just sucking it up and taking the hit. Maybe sometimes putting on our big girl panties means acting like a big girl and learning to communicate in a manner that is respectful and courteous.

Exactly!

[EviesMom]

Originally Posted by tinybutterfly 

Here is the part peoplel seem to be totally disregarding.

Really this should be enough. I agree we are all adults. If everyone would treat others with respect and courtesy instead of trying to score points off them, the new UA would work fine.

Putting on our big girl panties doesn't always mean just sucking it up and taking the hit. Maybe sometimes putting on our big girl panties means acting like a big girl and learning to communicate in a manner that is respectful and courteous.

This I agree with!

[*~*SewHappyNow*~*]

When exactly did the UA change before?  I remember moderation was pretty fierce back in 2003-2005.  There were some pretty snarky, crunchies, though...  there was one woman who constantly bashed moms who didn't breastfeed, AP, etc..  I thought she was disrespectful, but I guess it was allowed. 

I made a return in 2007 or so and there were a lot of rude, ignorant members who just said crazy inflamatory things.  They seemed to go out of their way to hate on people who weren't as impoverished as they were and had more wealth...  which is odd...  I don't really want to get into it. 

So, now I've come back only recently come back...  I noticed 2 things:

1. I didn't see as many inflammatory posts or outright snarkiness just to inflame.  That seems good, but I don't know why that is, if moderation is less

2. I saw people with more mainstream viewpoints posting.  Not as crunchy, not as AP....  so I'm not sure what I think of that.  On one hand I think open mindedness and respect for others opinions is a good thing.  On the other, I feel as though I expect the MDC to be less mainstream, more AP, more crunchy.

Why this things are the way tehy are now, I don't know...  I'm not sure of whether the changes I note are due to more or less moderation, because I haven't been an active member consistently over the last 10 years to compare.  I guess I'll vote "other"

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by *~*SewHappyNow*~* 

When exactly did the UA change before?  I remember moderation was pretty fierce back in 2003-2005.  There were some pretty snarky, crunchies, though...  there was one woman who constantly bashed moms who didn't breastfeed, AP, etc..  I thought she was disrespectful, but I guess it was allowed. 

I made a return in 2007 or so and there were a lot of rude, ignorant members who just said crazy inflamatory things.  They seemed to go out of their way to hate on people who weren't as impoverished as they were and had more wealth...  which is odd...  I don't really want to get into it. 

So, now I've come back only recently come back...  I noticed 2 things:

1. I didn't see as many inflammatory posts or outright snarkiness just to inflame.  That seems good, but I don't know why that is, if moderation is less

2. I saw people with more mainstream viewpoints posting.  Not as crunchy, not as AP....  so I'm not sure what I think of that.  On one hand I think open mindedness and respect for others opinions is a good thing.  On the other, I feel as though I expect the MDC to be less mainstream, more AP, more crunchy.

Why this things are the way tehy are now, I don't know...  I'm not sure of whether the changes I note are due to more or less moderation, because I haven't been an active member consistently over the last 10 years to compare.  I guess I'll vote "other"

I think as long as MDC has boards dedicated to home birth, UC, baby wearing, not circumcising, lactivism.... it will not be mainstream. MDC is not mainstream. 
 

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood 

I think as long as MDC has boards dedicated to home birth, UC, baby wearing, not circumcising, lactivism.... it will not be mainstream. MDC is not mainstream. 
 

very true...Not to mention Country Living/Off the Grid, Unschooling, Non Vax, Selective Vax, Traditional Foods, Veggie/Vegan living etc etc etc...I could go on but I can't think of any others that could generally be considered "crunchy" right now.

[cocoanib]

In short- I don't like the way the boards have been lately. It reminds me of the mainstream mommy type boards that I've gone to and never returned.

I think that is due to the minimal moderation.

Originally Posted by Snowflake777 

I'm somewhere in between. I think that moderation was too strict before, but not strict enough now.

I think if you're going to have forums which are intended to lean towards certain philosophies, they have to be pretty tightly moderated. Otherwise MDC might as well just call itself a mainstream forum.

 yeah this.

MDC is not a mainstream forum and if you want it to be, then I don't think MDC is the place for you.

We could have done with a luttle less moderation before, bur not as laid back as things are now.

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by cocoanib 

In short- I don't like the way the boards have been lately. It reminds me of the mainstream mommy type boards that I've gone to and never returned.

I think that is due to the minimal moderation.

 yeah this.

MDC is not a mainstream forum and if you want it to be, then I don't think MDC is the place for you.

We could have done with a luttle less moderation before, bur not as laid back as things are now.

I don't understand this. We can't handle any differing opinions? That's just...creepy to me. 

[cocoanib]

Originally Posted by mrs joe bubby 

I really prefer the old moderation ways and wish it would return. I just don't feel "safe" here anymore and feel I am having some disturbing views pushed on me as of late. I can deal with it but there are sooooo many other boards where discussion of mainstream parenting goes on, why not go to them. My main concern is that the free for all atmosphere means the beginning of the end. I had high hopes that this board would still be here when my DS is out on the world looking for parenting advice one day. Now I'm afraid it's not going to last until he is a teen!!

Totally agree.  

[cocoanib]

@lovingmommyhood

Differing opinions is not the issue, or my issue anyways.

It just seems that alot of mainstream ideas are now being pushed around the board. If you say something too crunchy, you may get bashed or questioned to death.

MDC used to be safer for crunchies and you did'nt have to hide or apologize for it, like on mainstream boards.

Edited by cocoanib - 6/15/11 at 8:22pm

[dauphinette]

All of this is exactly what I don't like about the new direction things are going in.  Especially the comments about the UC board.  That board should be a support only board period.  I could not disagree more that nothing is to be gained by a bunch of people who wouldn't UC, don't UC, don't believe in UC, haven't had a UC don't want a UC being on there throwing their percieved weight around.  It seems malicious, vicious and kind of stinks of bullying.

My feelings are that I would definately go back to the old way even if it was over-moderated at times because this just isn't MDC anymore.
 

Originally Posted by mommato5 

Perhaps people felt that way before, but knew they couldn't express it. We had to pretend we were wearing kid gloves while coddling people or trying to gently say things. As another person said, we are adults. We are all in charge of children. If you cannot have a backbone on a message board, how are you going to raise your child??

Quote:

That board in particular needs people who are willing to say "Um, that is dangerous, what are you thinking?". If you can't handle dissenting opinions, again, how are you going to raise children?? Some of the advice there IS dangerous and has caused deaths because people listen to it. Their private board is also probably a big part of why that board is so slow. If women cannot be coddled, they don't want to participate.

ANd being snarky and cussing like a sailor is quite a bit of fun!

AND I don't think minimal moderation makes this a mainstream board. Hearing opposing opinions doesn't make it a mainstream board. I know mainstream boards and even those are teeming with crunchies (unless you have a private board)!

[katelove]

I voted other as well. 

I certainly think that a degree of moderation which gets you a warning for starting a thread in a new section is waaay over the top. On the other hand I can certainly live without the rudeness and lack of respect which is so much more obvious now. It certainly takes a bit more thought to reply respectfully in a heated debate but it can be done so I don't think allowing one precludes the other. As PPs have said though, this may be less a matter of moderation and more of settling into a new-found freedom. Time will tell I guess

One thing I really would *not* like to see return in the removal of threads. For a few reasons - 1) if it was being done to hide bad outcomes, that is truly appalling. 2) often the thread had some useful information in it which was lost and 3) it provides examples of the type of thing which will result in a locked thread so people can see how the moderators are interpreting the UA.

Another thing I don't want to have to deal with is  mainstream stuff like CIO, smacking etc. I am fully opposed to "I was smacked and I'm ok" type statements. For one thing you then have to clarify your position "ok, good for you but I don't want to smack my child" or whatever. It's nice when some things are just a given. For another thing, it's an essentially meaningless statement anyway. You're ok? Says who? By what definition? And how do you know you wouldn't have been even better without the smack? I joined this forum so I didn't have to read smacking, CIO etc advocacy.

I guess I don't really have a solution to this though. Apparently the statements at the top of the forums along the lines of "We will not host discussions advocating..." aren't enough so maybe their needs to be some moderation to remind people of the core values of MDC.