If I ever had a pedestal I was knocked off it with great force. Ha.
I have been humbled by the overwhelming agony of childbirth. 49 hours of labor the first time, including a hospital transfer because when I heard "you are dilated to 2" after 40 hours of labor I just couldn't do it. I could no longer walk or see straight. Going into my second labor I said, "Anything less than 24 hours will be a cake walk! And the second one is always faster than the first!" Heh. 9 days later I almost died after pushing my daughter out because my uterus was done and not interested in closing up. I am apparently not meant to have lots of children even though I always wanted a bunch of children. :( If we ever have an accidental pregnancy (unlikely with a vasectomy) I would choose an elective c-section. I can't go through that again.
I have been humbled by the intensity of dealing with my former traumas while parenting. I've always had a harder time than other people being a "normal" person, because I'm not. But I didn't know how hard this would be with children. It's several orders of magnitude harder than I thought it would be.
I have been humbled by the response when I had a mental breakdown. I thought droves of people would be nasty or insulting or critical. That is my biological families reaction to any weakness on my part. Instead I have had many wonderful people (including here from MDC) offer me help and support in a myriad of ways. For a week straight after my uncle died and I wasn't safe to be alone with my children... I wasn't. My friends took shifts to stay with me and my kids so that everyone made it through the crisis alive and well. My kids won't remember mommys breakdown as a terrible traumatic event. My kids will remember, "Sometimes my mom gets sad and goes into the garage. But then we have friends come over and play! It's awesome!" I hope my children will never know how very close they came to being orphans. And the phone calls and text messages and emails... I am truly humbled by the outpouring of love I received. My "story" is that everyone hates me. I am trying to really believe that people actually love me. That's what their actions show.
I have been humbled by the support I have received from my husband. (Let's take this new UA for a spin, shall we?) My husband refers to himself as a charming asshole. He is absolutely willing to talk about the fact that he is out for #1... and that's not me. But he believes that the only way our family will work well is if everyone is supported. So even though he doesn't particularly like all the stuff he does for/with me... he does it. He goes way outside his comfort zone for me. He waited on me hand and foot through two horrific pregnancies. I didn't know anyone would be willing to go so far for me.
I am humbled by my beautiful Shanna. My daughter is three. She is a shining example of happiness and health. Despite how fucked up I am. I don't know how that happened. If I start getting nasty in my tone of voice she can turn around and say, "Mom! It's not ok to talk to me like that. It hurts my feelings. You need to be more kind." Once when I was in a bad place I said, "I am so angry that I want to hit you." She said, "Hitting is never ok! If you feel that angry you need to go to time out." Did I mention that she is three? She's been able to do this for a long time. I think she is perfect.
I am humbled by learning how to be in a healthy family. Sometimes I feel heartsore because I don't know what healthy dynamics are. But my family is helping me learn. It's wonderful.