6 wk old w/slightly lopsided head - please help me calm my paranoia!

[MidcoastMEMom]

Ok, I know there will be some people out there who've had my experience, and I looking for some words of calm, as I tend to be paranoid mom. No, seriously, I tend to really over-inspect my children. Luckily DH balances me out (hahaha). My 6 wk. old DD has a slightly lopsided head. Like on top, her right side is slightly higher than her left. I am pretty certain she was born with it, but she had a full head of hair and we didn't notice it until after her 2 week checkup - you can really only "see" it from certain angles but you can feel it when you touch the top of her head. I freaked to such a degree that I brought her in to our GP. He definitely could "see" what I was talking about, felt the slight ridge on top of her head, but measured and said her head was growing fine, no signs of craniosyntosis (sp?), which is what I was flipping out about, and developmentally she's amazing - she's been smiling since 3 weeks old! - making great eye contact, recognizing and cooing and is generally a super healthy, hearty baby. He said usually there are issues with the fontenelle and hers was perfect. This lopsidedness is actually barely noticeable to other people - I usually point it out and ask - "does she look deformed?" and people are like, whaa?? Our ped is going to "keep an eye" on it, which is why I think I can't let it go. Now when I look at her, all I can see is the lopsidedness and I feel so bad that I'm focusing on it!!! Poor baby! My first DD had ZERO molding to her head (though I had a 4th degree tear, which is why) and she was a super active baby in the womb, flipping around and changing positions. This baby hung out in one general position for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, so my doc said that could be a big part of this.

Anyone else have a baby with a head that is a bit lopsided? I've been told by other moms "oh, she'll outgrow it," but my doc did warn me that she might always have it to a degree because nobody has a symmetrical head. I told him I'm not into those helmets unless there is a medical reason for them (not cosmetic) and he agrees. And, honestly, cosmetically, you have to look pretty hard to see what I'm talking about - it's easier when her hair is wet to see it. So, mommas, please help me! I need to let it go - it's hard because we're still in the "lying around nursing" phase and all I do is stare at her sweet little head. Honestly, she's the cutest and sweetest and strongest baby, so I know I am being paranoid...

Can anyone a: reassure me and b: share any tips for letting things like this go? Before this, I was worried about her pooping habits and how one eye has a slightly darker circle under it than the other. AAAAAHHH!!! I am thinking maybe meditation might help... but your advice would be great!

Thank you!

A paranoid mommy in Maine.

[transylvania_mom]

I know what you feel, I had the same thing happening to me with dd. I was sick with worry for about 6 mo, at least. I took her to two or three doctors and a chiropractor. I also had the impression she preferred one side over the other and she tended to tilt her head to one side; I suspected torticollis, but it was never confirmed.

Some doctors didn't see anything wrong with it, some saw her head was slightly uneven, but reassured me it would round out on its own. This is actually what happened. Dd has a cute, even head now. I read extensively about it and my impression is that for severe cases it's worth trying more aggressive measures (like helmets), but for mild cases, they will round out in time. My doc warned me though to be vigilant about it. Your baby is still at an age where you can still reposition her when she sleeps. Try to place her in such a way that she doesn't rest too much on the flat side. You can put toys on the other side to encourage her to turn her head opposite to the flat side. We were co-sleeping and I would always nurse her on that side when lying down. She also took most of her naps in  the wrap for the first 4 mo of her life. Try not to keep her in a carseat or swing for too long.

HTH

[MidcoastMEMom]

Oh, gosh - that definitely helps! I am actually noticing that she doesn't like to turn her head to the opposite side as much! It's interesting because she is really strong and has held her head up since day 1, but definitely has a side preference. She is also a wrap napper and we co-sleep. She prefers to sleep on the same side that I prefer, so I've been trying to be conscious of it and switch sides when I switch boobs at night, but it's hard to remember in the middle of the night! I'm so very delighted to hear that your DD's head did round out!!! My friend took her babe to an osteopath at 5 months and is encouraging me to do the same but while I'm paranoid, I'm also hands off - if it will correct itself, I'm all for nature taking her course.

Thanks for the reassurance and the tips... I don't want to be this worried for another 6 months! I do think her head molded in the womb (my ribs still hurt on my right side because of how long she hung out on there) and my mother keeps telling me to give it time... she had five kiddos, so she's probably right! I really appreciate hearing your story. The one good thing is that if it doesn't even out, I think she'll have a nice head of hair to hide it, right?

[gemasita]

My DS's head is asymmetrical too and I've been so worried about it!  His occipital bone is off-center in the back of his head.  I think it happened in the womb because I've noticed it since shortly after he was born.  The doctor also said, "We'll keep an eye on it."  DS is right on track with his milestones.  I hope we don't have to do a helmet.  Maybe we can keep his hair long.  :-)  But yes, it has worried me too.

[MidcoastMEMom]

Ah, it's good to know others are going through the same thing! I do think it's pretty common. Gemasita, how old is your DS? I am going to take the wait and watch approach since she's only 6 weeks. I think the only reason I'm worried is because I don't want this to turn into some medical issue... if it's purely cosmetic, I'm much less worried about it. I think my friend brought her son to an osteopath because he was and is still completely bald! My DD has a good bit of hair still, though she may lose it and I'll be singing a different  tune! I think it's good that your doc is aware, as mine certainly is (since I brought her in for a visit specifically to make him feel her head!). Chances are probably good that I'll be laughing at myself when she's in college, but I certainly understand being worried now! Hang in there and maybe we can keep each other updated on how the babe's heads are shaping up! Literally!

[anjsmama]

DS (34 months) has an uneven head. He had plagio plagiocephaly. ? I'm pretty sure that's how it's spelled. Anyway, his head shaped somewhat unevenly because he preferred one side so much. We tried everything to get him to eat, sleep, and play in both directions. But we later found out that he had a heart condition that required surgery, and it was easier for him to breathe slightly seated and facing one direction, which is why his head went lopsided/flat on one side. He had the surgery at 3.5 months and then we tried all the "positional" therapy and soft molding, but no change. Ped offered this helmet therapy thing where he'd where a plastic headband thing (it was quite massive), 23 hours out of 24 for several months to correct it. I asked the purpose of this (as far as brain development, etc) and he said (at least in my DS' case) it was cosmetic. After all he'd been through, I decided I really just did not care that much about an unevenness to his head.

I can see it when I look, because I know it's there. No one else has ever noticed (not even my OCD mom!)... it would only be an issue for him if he ever decided to shave his head. He's completely normal developmentally, actually I'm relatively certain he is gifted though too young to test. It bothered me from time to time when he was a baby, but now that he's older I rarely even notice or think of it. In fact, I hadn't thought of it for months until I read this.

Just wanted to share that even if your DD's head doesn't even out, it can be just fine. 

[MidcoastMEMom]

Awww... you're sweet to reassure me! I'm glad your son is all good (and better!) now... I do think I won't notice when she's older... my mom keeps telling me that. I agree about the helmets - unless it's really noticeable or medically necessary, I'd be skipping that option. Osteopathic manipulation seems like it might be a gentle, non-invasive option, but I'll think I'll wait and see what my doc thinks at her 2 month visit.

[rusticity]

When my DD was months old, we noticed that one eye looked smaller than the other & one side of forehead was slightly pronounced.  While we waited to see Dr. Gary Rogers at Boston's Childrens Hospital, I kept her in an exersaucer a lot & tried to keep her from laying on her head (I carried her a lot in a Bjorn & later a mei tei).  He confirmed that she had slight torticollis & likely it started in the womb.  He said that he could see a slight flat head but said that her head was within "normal" range & if one of his helmeted patients ended up with the shape of her head, he'd be thrilled.  It seems like the flatter spot will always be there b/c it's on the skull which is less malleable.  However, we were really concerned about the facial asymmetry - even though most people claimed they didn't noticed.  He said that would definitely improve over time b/c faces (including forehead) continues to grow well into the teen years.  My DD is 3 now & *I* can still see some asymmetry but I can also see it's getting better.  I no longer stress over it - we did what we could & the rest is out of our control.  In the scope of things, it seemed such a petty thing to worry about (we saw some burn patients while at Childrens Hospital - puts things in perspective quickly!) especially since the vast majority of people don't' notice.

[MidcoastMEMom]

rusticity, you're absolutely right about perspective. I have noticed that one of my DD's eyes seems to be very slightly deeper set than the other, but it's really not noticeable to most... and, when I start looking hard at people, I can see many small asymmetries, including one eye smaller, one deeper set, bumpy forehead, pointy top of head, etc. I think part of it is that I (and I think many parents) really see every detail about our children! My mantra is going to be, as long as it's not causing any medical issues, I'm going to let it go. (Or try really hard to). My DD's is definitely one of the top plates of her skull is a bit higher than the other and very slightly off to one side. Definitely seems like womb-molding. It may shift on its own - I try very consciously to vary her head position - we may end up at an osteopath or chiropractor - or, we may just leave it and let it be a charming part of her. My biggest fear was something medically wrong, but it doesn't seem like that's the case.

Perspective, perspective - amen to that! I had a friend call today because a friend of hers just found out that her 3 month old has acute infant leukemia. How horrible that would be - things like that tend to sober me up pretty quickly and be grateful that I have a happy, healthy baby!!! Thanks for sharing your story! Out of curiosity, did you guys consider osteopathic manipulation? Or in your DD's case, would it have not made a difference?

[isras1]

I often wonder how many hours I have spent staring at my son while we nursed or slept in my arms, many.

OP have given you great advice, I thought I would share what worked for my DS, he developed torticollis as a result of being posterior for so long in the womb and exacerbated from a vacuum-assisted birth. I noticed that his right frontal plate was higher and he was steadily favoring one side. My pediatrician didn't have much to recommend, only to encourage him to use that side during play time, naps and nurse side-lying. Whereas, my midwife recommended a craniosacral therapist. We decided to give it try, the lady specialized in working with children. It was like a massage, she worked all along his spine, neck, shoulders and ended with work on his head. She said it usually only takes 1 or 2 sessions when they are young to resolve torticollis, my DS was almost 6 weeks old. He only needed to go once. The stiffness slowly left in the week following and after 2 weeks he was using both sides of his body, equally and fully. The shaping of his head shifted as well and was more symmetrical. So that's our experience with that type of treatment, HTH

[gemasita]

Originally Posted by MidcoastMEMom Gemasita, how old is your DS? I am going to take the wait and watch approach since she's only 6 weeks. I think the only reason I'm worried is because I don't want this to turn into some medical issue... if it's purely cosmetic, I'm much less worried about it. I think my friend brought her son to an osteopath because he was and is still completely bald! My DD has a good bit of hair still, though she may lose it and I'll be singing a different  tune! I think it's good that your doc is aware, as mine certainly is (since I brought her in for a visit specifically to make him feel her head!). Chances are probably good that I'll be laughing at myself when she's in college, but I certainly understand being worried now! Hang in there and maybe we can keep each other updated on how the babe's heads are shaping up! Literally!

My DS is 4.5 months old.  I don't *think* his head is changing...for the worst or better.  I also was worried if it was a medical issue...not so much cosmetic as DS could keep his hair anything but shaved and no one would probably notice.  I just didn't want the shape to be causing a medical problem.