X-posted from DDC to hopefully reach others who have BTDT:
In order to stay home with DS I have taken on watching my friend's son A (15mo.) while she works. It's been an adjustment but for the most part we've found our rhythm. Now with this pregnancy I can't figure out what to do. When we were still working out the details of our arrangement they did ask what would happen if I got pregnant (they knew we were wanting more). Without really thinking it through I replied "Well, I'd still have to take care of DS, so I don't see why I wouldn't keep watching A too." What was I thinking?!!!!
We really could use the extra income, but part of the reason I only have the one extra child is that it still allows me the freedom to take the kids out whenever we want. We have a Honda Civic and it'll be a stretch to fit 3 across in there. Buying a bigger vehicle would cost as much as I would earn watching "A". "A" naps right now in the room that will become the baby's room. I don't even know where "A" would nap. I plan to babywear a lot anyway, but how do you even pick up another kid while you've got one wrapped? "A" is not small, he's 36lbs already at 15 mo; heavier than my almost 3yo.
I guess I'm so worried about how I'm going to handle a newborn and a 3yo on my own, that the idea of those two PLUS a 1.5/almost 2yo really freaks me out. I realize there are mothers out there who have no choice but to deal with this situation (the age spread is possible) BUT is it fair to all of us to struggle through it if we don't have to? If I do keep "A" on, any tips on how to handle the first month or two? Aaaaah! Help!!! I'm pretty freaked out right now.
(And I have to figure this out soon, as I'll have to tell them soon due to MW appointments and I know that will be one of their first questions. At least it would be if the situations were reversed.)