Edited by elisent - 6/15/11 at 3:16pm
I think the whole shoot first, ask questions later can be applied here (I mean, don't shoot anyone, though if one of my babies were being hurt, I might).
I read your post earlier but didn't know what to say, as I don't have any experience with this... but thinking about it, there are just too many red flags and the risk is too high to take the chance. I would leave, at least temporarily, to be sure my children were safe. I mean, something has to be going on if your DD did what she did at school, presumably in front of other children and staff - and then they took it seriously to bring CPS into the equation.
I wish you the best - I hope you have somewhere to go to sort it all out. Glad counselors are involved; hopefully they get to the bottom and your DD is okay.
eta: please let me know if you want this deleted - or PM a mod and ask for the thread to be taken down if it's a safety issue for your family.