Feeling nursed out, Toddlers asking all the time

[GoodUserNamesTaken]

Hello,

I haven't been here in awhile (the lack of a cursor in the text book drives me crazy), but I have a question that I think this is the best place for!

I have two sweet toddlers, that will be 17 months in a few weeks. The problem is they want to nurse ALL THE TIME... every time I sit on the couch, they come to nurse and nurse. If I get up or don't sit on the couch, most of the time I'm "safe." But if I sit down, watch out...

It's driving me crazy. With one baby, it'd drive me nuts, but with two, I'm getting so nursed out. And then they don't really nurse, they play "nursing peek-a-boo." (They pop on and off and laugh, which is cute, but tiring at times...)

Any advice? Words of wisdom? We don't have many other places to sit that aren't dining room chairs or office chairs, and I'd like to be able to sit there w/o always nursing! It also happened to be the most comfortable spot to nurse.

~ Rachel

[f&p'smama]

all 3 of mine have been the most interested in nursing at around a year and a half.  have you ever tried to distract them with a book, offer a cup of water or a snack when they ask to nurse?  i recall feeling very nursed out, too, when my twins were that age and all the yoga poses, peek-a-boo, etc, they'd do while nursing, too.  

[GoodUserNamesTaken]

Yes, I try to distract them with offers of juice or food. Sometimes that works, but lots of time I give them the juice or food, and then, two minutes later, they are back to wanting to nurse. No doubt, they are sweet babies, but the nursing-bonaza is driving me crazy.

[daisie31]

Mine are 20 months and I just went through the same thing, my singleton did it too.  I cannot stand it.  I just started saying, "we aren't doing that right now" and have slowly decreased to only nursing before and after naps and before bed, through the night and in the am and then a snack or two.  Funny, when I am living this, I feel like I am depriving them and feel guilty because I am no longer allowing them to nurse on demand, but when I write how often I am nursing them, it is plenty!  I have felt with all three of my children (ds when he was this age and now the twins), that we are all miserable when it's open bar.  It's almost like they can't do anything for very long without needing to nurse and then they cry and complain until I sit down and nurse them, they are like addicts:).  I have found that we are all more peacefull when I put limits on nursing and respect my boundaries.  They still ask but are easily distracted or happy to be hugged and kissed and move on.  I have also just started nursing out of the bedroom at nap and bedtime and then not nursing to sleep and it is going amazingly well.  I just got to a point of hating all of it and found myself taking out my anger on my 5 y/o, soooo not fair to him.  We are all becoming much happier, much quicker than I expected. 

Hope you get some space soon.  It takes a couple of days but then they get it, will still ask to make sure it's true but I have found that to be short lived.  Give it a week and enjoy your new freedom:).  Another option is having one nursing space.  I tried this but it didn't work for us because I wanted to nurse wherever I happen to be when it's time.  Good luck....

Dena

[GoodUserNamesTaken]

It's true, that my perception of how often I nurse them is much less than it is. I nurse them, no matter what, before nap, after nap, in the morning, before sleep, and a few times at night, and then at least once or twice besides this. So that is... 8 to 10 times a day??! And I feel guilty for wanting to cut back TO this.

Thank you for point this out. I feel so much less guilty now about putting limits on the constant nursing.

~ Rachel

[dragonchild]

Been there, done that. I think it was about then that I started to insist that we don't play when we nurse - we *nurse*. They do get better but it can be a long road with twins. Sometimes they nurse just because their twin is nursing and not because they would otherwise, and tandem nursing them starts being an occasion to interact with their twin - be that playing or fighting. At about 2, we went through a stage when almost all tandem feeds ended in fights over how much of mummy's lap each one got.

Don't feel guilty. Plenty of other sources for mummy-guilt, not letting them treat you like a toy shouldn't be one of them.

[Shuli]

I had this problem too. R would have stopped nursing at a year had he been a singleton, D would still be nursing at almost four. R certainly still nursed passed a year because his twin was. At 18 months I found myself pregnant again and had no choice to wean (actually, I started weaning and then got pregnant). R was ready and it was natural, I would nurse first thing in the morning, last thing at night, when I picked them up from daycare and once in the late afternoon. I gradually stopped offering after daycare and late afternoon and then in the morning I'd make sure I was up and dressed before they got up and then we used bottles of water and story/cuddles at bedtime. It went pretty smoothly and there came a time when I would just say no, you have to wait until bed time. (One of my smart alecs then asked to go to bed, which I found amusing, but still refused to nurse.) It was a gradual, but we did it. When I came home with Little Princess, my die hard nurser at one point put his head in my lap and said "nurse you?" and I said, "no, I'm not going to nurse you". It was really cute. I found that if I was firm but gentle and offered hugs/cuddles instead, it usually worked. By the end I think it was the closeness, not necessarily the nutrients they needed. Good luck!