anyone afraid TO buy anything for baby?

[frugalmum]

I didn't realize I was so superstitious but I can't bring myself to buy a single scrap of anything for my baby, even though I know her gender!  I do have lots of girl clothes but all my newborn stuff is stained/ ripped beyond repair, and most of it isn't even donatable.  I'll also need a new crib mattress or a new crib altogether (current one has been through 5 babies!), new carseat.  I always BF but like to have emergency formula/ bottles on hand the first couple months in case I have serious problems and baby needs food.  Maybe it's because I got pregnant right after a loss, I just can't bring myself to tempt fate.  Anyone else?

[theboysmama]

Right there with you! Being PAL has a lot to do with it. I have forced myself to buy a few things (just as part of the healing/acceptance process). So far I purchased quite a few pairs of baby legs ( I purchased all boy ones and have to return them for girl ones) I figured those were something I could sell if I don't get to use them. On Tuesday I bought her baptismal gown (it was $20 on craigslist) I figured we could bury her in it if things don't work out. Soooo I have bought a few things but it is not a happy oh I know my baby will use this kind of thing.
Don't rush yourself. You might feel more comfortable later on or you can get what you need when she gets here.

[frugalmum]

It's so hard isn't it?  I have no choice on the carseat, maybe just that and a couple packages of onesies.  I will wait till august though at least!

[AKChix0r]

I have held off on buying things for other superstitious reasons (though not as emotional as a loss in any way).

I refuse to buy any newborn sized clothing or diapers, because big babies run in my family and I think that if I buy small stuff, he'll never fit into it. I'm hoping that I'm wrong and have to scramble to get essentials for a less-than-nine-pounder.

Also, I have not purchased anything boy-specific in the 3+ weeks that we've known his sex. Despite very obvious proof that he's a boy at both ultrasounds, I'm not convinced. I want to buy a bunch of "mommy's little man" and "handsome like daddy" stuff, but I keep thinking that will somehow "jinx" it.

I just realized that on some level, I think I am worried about this pregnancy, too. Everything I have purchased or that people have given me remains in its original packaging, tags attached, in shopping bags in my spare room. I haven't unpacked or set up anything, and have insisted on not setting up a nursery of any kind. Maybe I'm bracing myself more than I thought? I didn't know if I would ever be able to have kids, and this whole pregnancy happened really fast. I think I'm still in some stage of denial.

[Jane]

I came to some place that I am collecting for A baby, not necessarily This baby. I'd say half my baby stuff was purchased for other pregnancies, as I've had 4 losses.

There are services that let you make a big list, give a credit card number, and it doesn't ship until you give birth. They are typically aimed at Jewish women, but available for all. There's one that's specifically for boy-girl stuff when you don't know. You let them know after the baby's born and they ship the choices you put in for the sex you've not got.

[theboysmama]

Jane do u have any links? What a great. I could plan viciously without having to invest.

Damn auto correct!!!! The aboe was supposed to say "What a great idea! I could plan vicariously without having to invest."
Edited by theboysmama - 6/16/11 at 9:51pm

[Snugglebugmom]

Yes and no. We bought one pack of blue onesies, and I still feel awkward and unsettled about that. But I have been knitting up a storm. Not knowing whether Matty has Trisomy 18 makes it hard, I guess. I do feel like I am dealing well though. I am conscious of what might be wrong, but determined to hope for the best. And the stuff I knit, well... if worse comes to worst, there may be moms at homeless shelters or battered women shelters that could really use my hand-knits. So they will be of use to someone regardless. 

[Mama~Love]

Yes, I 'm scared to buy anything. Not that we need much, all we need now is boy clothes, as my youngest boy is 11 years old. But, I won't buy anything til the very end. I'm also pregnant after a loss, so very, very cautious.

[ThreeCats]

I haven't bought anything either...I was chalking it up to procrastination or laziness. Reading this thread makes me wonder how much of my "procrastination" is actually fear (I'm PAL too). I probably won't buy much as far as clothes go, and the carseat isn't in the budget for a while yet...but I have wanted to get started on baby knitting, and just...haven't. I can't commit to a pattern for baby's blanket, haven't bought any yarn...

The other thing I'm not doing is getting DS ready to have a sibling. My goals were to have him potty trained and in his own room by the end of the summer, and I'm not making progress with either (my fault, not his).

[emmaegbert]

My second was PAL and I didn't buy anything really for her... but I also got so much in hand-me-downs that literally I didn't need anything at all. I bought matching nightshirts for my son and the baby, and that really was it.

I guess I am not "afraid" to buy stuff but just very reluctant. I am low income, I am uncomfortable with consumption-as-entertainment, and yes, to be honest I guess there is a superstitious part of me too...

Also this is #3 so while truthfully I do NOT have any stuff (this pregnancy was unexpected, and we moved across the country when DD was 15mo and got rid of absolutely everything we didn't "need") I do know lots of other moms and I am sure I will get plenty of stuff, maybe more than I really want...

[dollyanna]

ThreeCats I am totally with you - totally need DD to be potty trained & sleeping in her own bed by the end of the summer & making no progress. We also need to buy a big girl bed & a dresser.

I can't remember when I finally bought stuff during my 1st pregnancy -- maybe 7 or 8 months along?  I am totally paranoid about it. I think I'll probably wait until pretty late to buy stuff this time around. I need to sort DD's old clothes as well -- I got as far as buying big plastic storage bins. We obviously don't need as much stuff this time, but I will need some replacement gear for stuff that expired or wore out & winter clothes, & basics like sheets.

[ncas72]

I bought a few cloth diapers and that is it so far. My first pregnancy was a loss and we conceived our son with IUI 2 years later. We have been trying for 4 years so this pregnancy is definitely a surprise. We haven't really discussed names for this baby either. By this point in the pregnancy with my son, we had furniture, clothes, a name. I want to go buy things for my little girl but I keep telling myself wait until you're further along. Luckily, I have been given some clothing, a car seat, stroller. But they are all at my parent's house. I told my mother to put them in her attic until it gets closer to my due date.

I wish I could be more relaxed instead of so reserved and reluctant to get excited this time around. I want to be excited, I want to shop, I want to decorate. I just can't bring myself to do it.

[MOMYS]

I only bought my first little something yesterday.  We have had some issues with this pregnancy, and I don't want to buy stuff and then need prem stuff, KWIM? 

[KABB]

I starting buying things shortly after we found but hesitated buying the "bigger" stuff until we knew gender. Other than that I have no hesitation. 

[~pi]

Yes, I am somewhat afraid/reluctant to buy anything. Not for the same reasons (though similar themes around uncertainty) but I can definitely relate. I think that it has to do with the experience of being at risk for whatever reason. You are just more aware of the things that can go wrong.

I actually just got the first things recently -- a couple of shirts. (With DS, we were drowning in onesies that didn't fit over his enormous CD'd bum.) I was ordering silks from Dharma to use for DS' upcoming birthday party (superhero theme, everyone is getting a Koolaid dyed silk to decorate as a cape) and I knew that I wanted to get a few lap shoulder shirts to dye, but I actually found it quite hard to go ahead and purchase them. I was only able to do it because I knew it would save me trouble and shipping costs, but it was hard to follow through.