The "crunchy" ped pulled back my ds's foreskin

[homemademom]

I have been beside myself since it happened. He's my 3rd ds, and so far, I've managed to keep them all safe from prying hands.  I would never in a million years have seen this coming. He's the ped of all the hbers in my area, he's fine with no-vax/selective vax (the main reason we see him), and I just generally thought him to be very "live and let live." However today, he was doing a well check on my ds (which I only do to maintain the relationship with his office, because it really gives me no useful information) and was checking his hip flexors and diaper area when he said that my ds's foreskin had re-adhered. I said, no, he's not circumcised. Then he pulls the fs back FAR and I freaked. I said, "NO! Don't do that!" I could feel the blood drain from my face and my heart was beating so hard.  Then, he says condescendingly, "It's fine." I said, "No. I don't want to create scar tissue!"  (At the time I could have said a number of better things, like "Are you completely ignorant?!?", but it's all I could manage.) Then, he said, "There's already scar tissue there."  WTF.  

I'm just shaking. I hate this. I hate that a doctor can do something invasive like that and not even ask if the patient or patient's parent minds.  I mean, a mw would never treat a client like this and yet, somehow, our bodies become the property of the doctor once we enter their exam room. I'm just sick about this whole thing.  

Edited by homemademom - 6/16/11 at 9:20pm

[bandgeek]

I'm sorry. :-(  Why in the world would he think there's already scar tissue there!?  I would wait until you completely calm down and write him a letter stating why this upset you and include the AAP's statement on intact care.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

: It is horrible when something like that happens and you feel so helpless. Obviously he knows nothing about the intact penis but maybe he is willing to learn and if not then you can always do the no under the diaper touching that I had to do. Since I have to stick with my ped's office for other reasons that is what I had to do.

[BananaBreadGirl]

:( That's awful that that happened from someone you trusted to some extent.

My son's (ex)-doctor did something similar at his 2 month checkup and when I confronted him about it he said he didn't need my permission to do something like that, it's as routine as using a tongue depressor. I'm still mad about how my son and I were treated.

If he's your only practical option, try to educate him I guess.

[homemademom]

Thanks for your responses. I'm so sorry that some of you have been through this, too!

I just don't know what to do. I would love to find an AP friendly family doctor to see all of us, but I don't know if one exists in my town. I'm really reluctant to go back to the ped though. I'm also not good at confrontation and I can't even imagine how awkward it would be to go back to him after writing him a letter.  He clearly thinks I'm nuts from my reaction to the situation.  And I just remembered that I brought up some unrelated issue with him a few months ago trying to get his perspective on something, and he acted so weird about it, as if I was questioning his authority. . .just by presenting information I'd read. Ugh.

Thank you all again for your thoughts and advice.

[To-Fu]

Oh no! This happened to me once, with my naturopath!!  I was horrified and totally shocked.  She's a midwife.  I didn't expect it AT ALL. 

I'd recommend what others have suggested, too--wait until the incident feels a little less fresh and write a letter to the office/ped. 

So sorry, mama!