How do you deal with Sibling Rivalry

[xrayed11]

Ok, so, I have a 2 1/2 year old girl and a 8 week old boy.  I grew up as a only child so I have no idea how to deal with this stuff!! She is very agressive to him and I cannot leave them alone together in a room. He had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU when he was born and we are still going to doctor appointments, etc. I'm sure she feels left out.  She is very disobedient, aggressive, and seems like she is angry with me. I'm sure she is but I feel like my sweet little girl is gone forever. Is this a stage or can someone please give me some advice!!!!!!

[dejagerw]

I highly recommend the book "siblings without rivalry" It's full of great information, and is an easy read. For the mean time, do not leave the baby alone with the toddler. It's just not safe if you aren't able to fully supervise. I'll sometimes say to DS1 that "It's hard to share your Mommy, isn't it?" Sometimes acknowledgement of their feelings helps some. As does some 1:1 time with the older one.

[NZJMama]

I second siblings without rivalry, it's a great book. We try to make it clear in our house (ages 6, 4, and 1.5) that everyone is different and has different needs and that we will always do our best to make sure everyone's needs are met.

I would say that this is a stage. From your DD's perspective her world has just been turned upside down and she doesn't know how to make heads or tails of it (especially following a NICU stay). She is trying to figure out where she fits in to your family's new normal. Try to involve her in taking care of the baby whenever possible and let her know how proud you are of your big girl, but don't be afraid to baby her too (rocking, snuggling) and let her do some of the same things with you that the baby gets to. Good luck.