So I have a really annoying story that I totally have to share.
Well, let me give you some history. Like everyone here, I have 3 other children and for each of them, I've done an ultrasound to know the gender ahead of time. Yes I realize that this isn't necessary and I also realize that this is one of my quirky things that is important to me and some will disagree, and that's fine. With our first, I was SO SURE I was having a boy and when I found out I was having a girl, I was really glad to know, though I could hardly believe it!
With my second it was REALLY important to me to have a boy (so I would have one of each), I was like OBSESSED with it in a crazy way. So I went to find out and I was really happy to find out that it was a boy and I was all good with that.
With my third I really EXPECTED that it would be a girl but really just wanted a confirmation. Imagine my surprize when it was another boy! I was really distraught about it and it took some warming up to the idea, but, as always, when the baby comes it's just love love love and everythign was dandy.
Now with this baby, I've been having dreams that it is a girl. My sister (on the other side of the globe) has dreamt that it is a girl. I was like 100% sure it was a girl (also because we concieved on the 0+12 method) but I also realized that I love my boys and for the first time, I didn't really care if I had an ultrasound or not. I just figured it was a girl. I was so sure about it. And if it wasn't, well there is nothing I can do about it now, and that's perfectly alright, too!
Anyway, I was also having dreams of twins. And they were getting more and more frequent. Because my midwife kind of bailed on me, I was feeling a bit nervous about actually being pg with twins and never knowing unless I confirm via ultrasound. But I was still willing to hold out on the basis that, eventually, SOMEONE would figure out they were twins and all would be well. I was very "Zen" about the whole thing.
But my husband was really freaked out. He wanted things to be like like they have always been. He wanted to know gender so that we could bond and narrow down names. He also wanted to rule out twins. Ultimately, he convinced me to go on that issue alone, because in my country a home twin birth would require different arrangements, so we went.
When we went into the doc, she barely said two words to me. She asked what I wanted. I told her an ultrasound. She looked for about 30 seconds, said she "thought" she saw only one baby and that she "thought" it was a boy. And that was it. I asked her to please look again for either a second baby or to confirm that it was in fact a boy but she refused. My husband asked her as well and she still refused. She asked us if we wanted a referral to a more invasive ultrasound (which takes about 30 min to complete) and we said "no." We just wanted to check for twins and the gender WITH CERTAINITY. She said "well then it's one and it's a boy" and basically said goodbye. I asked her for an order for a hemoglobin/hemocrit/iron test and ONLY that and she ended up giving me an order for syphillis and toxioplasmosis and a whole host of other stuff that I didn't want. Basically, the appointment was worthless.
I have no idea if she was just in a bad mood or rushed or wanted to pressure us into a more invasive ultrasound or what but it is what it is and despite our assertiveness and our arguing with her she refused to turn back on the machine and look again. Worst of all, when she was looking at the gender, I actually did not see a penis and testicals and both my husband and I know how to read ultrasounds ourselves so we were sort of shocked to see that she "guessed it's a boy." It was very quick and the baby did move, so maybe we are missing a split second of somethign that SHE saw that we didn't?
At any rate, now we are in a quandry. We THINK there is only one baby (I only feel movement that is comiserate with only one baby, so I feel a bit more confident about that, and chances are we'd see some overlapping babies on the ultrasound, right?) but neither one of us is convinced of the gender. I really DID want a girl, but I know that I'd love a girl or boy equally and deep down, I'm totally okay with either gender, but the question is now do we try and find another doctor that is DECENT (I've been asking around and, yeah, not really finding anyone)...or hire the only decent doctor we know to do this privately (money we don't really have and kind of against our principles!) or just deal with the fact that we don't know the gender and be at peace with it?
I flip flop on this one. Part of me wishes I had never gone in in the first place, because I was totally fine with not knowing (but thinking that it was definately a girl) but now I"m feeling like I have to undo that negative experience and get some certainity and clarity.
What do you all think and what would you do?