what if young children don't want to see their father?

[4C-mom]

So, tomorrow is FD. I was putting the 3.5 year old to bed and telling him how he's going to play iwth daddy at teh park tomorrow. He said "Daddy stole our stuff. He didn't follow the rules, he stole our stuff. I don't want to go. I don't love daddy anymore, I love you"

He left last week....he took the biggest TV, and the PS3, and the 3 year old is convinced he stole it. He hasn't had any issues when EX comes over to watch them while I work, gets along okay..... but, if i go to take him to see EX tomorrow, and he tries to say he doesnt want to go, do I make him?

[sparklefairy]

My general rule of thumb is that if I think a judge would make them go, then I will make them go.

Unless he's going to be neglectful or abusive, stepping back to let him navigate his own relationship with his children is my perspective.

I think that in this case I would try to explain in 3-year-old terms that mommy and daddy agreed that some of the family's things would live would mommy and some would live with daddy, that he can talk to daddy about that (and I would give daddy a head's up on the issue), and that he can love mommy and daddy at the same time, even when he's angry. Or something like that.

I realize that my response may not fit your individual situation exactly, so forgive me if I've gotten it entire wrong

[mimim]

I completely agree with sparklefairy. In the absence of abuse or other safety concerns, not seeing Dad is not an option that I will even entertain. I would definitely talk to your DS about his feelings and let his dad know that there are some hurt feelings to be recognized. Poor little guy. It's all so confusing.

[Bad Mama Jama]

i agree with all of the above.  kids take sides.  they speak out of loyalty to us, but if there is not a dangerous situation or abuse, i would suggest that they go.