Starting back FT - advice on how to make it all work please!

[nstewart]

I have to say I feel very blessed to have been able to stay home with my DS for a full year.  (Yay Canadian government!)  I feel so very fortunate when I realize that so many moms have to go back when their DC are only 3 mos old.  Nevertheless, I am nervous about going back and I really could use some advice.

First of all, I think it's partly that I don't know WHERE I will be working.  I have a job with insane hours that as of now I am going back to (although I'm also currently looking for a new job).  So the uncertainty is causing me stress.  Also, my DS still nurses down for both naps and bed time.  The only other person he goes down for is my mom (and she won't be his care-giver when I go back to work).  I feel like I need to teach him to fall asleep on his own, but don't know how to do this when I don't believe in CIO! (He is a pretty intense and high energy little guy.  He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to demand it!)  How do I help him prepare and how do I feel ok about leaving him?

Also, I just need advice on handling the day to day.  When do you all do house-work?  When do you grocery shop?  What do you do about meals (we don't really eat out for any meals.  I always have packed our lunches for work days).  Do you do pre-packaged? (I've never really done this but know I may have to)  If so, how do you keep it healthy and budget friendly (scratch cooking is so much less expensive)?  Do meal plans help?

Bah, the days are rushing by!!  Please help!

[annekevdbroek]

I would expect that it will take 3 months or so to settle into a new routine. I know it was at least that for me when I returned to work (which was at first only part-time). Expect chaos and discombobulation for the first several weeks. I have found that now (2 years later) I have a plan for just about everything you mentioned. House cleaning is done on Sunday morning, with nightly pick-ups. (I just found the Fly Lady website last night, I think she has great ideas). PLan out some fast simple meals and make sure you have the stuff on hand. If you can afford to it can be a big help to hire someone to do the cleaning. I'd say in either case, the key is to stay on top of it w/ a small amount of work every day (e.g. deal w/ dirty dishes every night -  don't let them pile up.)

As for naps... Personally, I'd let the childcare person sort it out. They can be expert at getting kids to sleep. It will likely take your little one some time to adjust. However, he may be tired from playing and getting up earlier for work and things and may nap easily. My kids never had a problem napping at daycare but would fight it like crazy at home.

I carry my lunch sometimes and eat at the (very inexpensive) dining hall at work on other days. I pack my kid's lunches for school/daycare. I have on hand juice boxes, cheese sticks, yogurt, pudding, small bags of chips, granola bars,  fruit leather, etc.,  and then make a sandwich for them. I find that with the packaged stuff and one fresh thing I make I can get their lunch ready in 5 minutes or so. Same with mine.

Ok-  no wonderful tip for grocery shopping. I actually try to take the kids after work, and do it as infrequently as possible. We get a CSA and dairy delivery each week for fresh stuff. Otherwise I go to the grocery store maybe 1x a month and stock up and freeze everything I can (e.g. 10 loaves of bread, etc.). I shop at Aldis which is small and fast.

[Anna Phor]

I found that around the 12-13 month mark was when my child started to really sleep "independently" for naps. The first time I put him down "drowsy but awake" was a revelation ... he actually did it! So he may be around the stage where he's developmentally ready to fall asleep easily for naps.

As for other logistics--we do housework on weekends during nap time. If there's extra housework, some weeks, we tag team; one parent takes the kid grocery shopping and the other vacuums the living room. And remember that your house will get less dirty if you are not there all day! We get grocery delivery.

I also do a lot of cooking and meal prep during weekend naps. And I've developed a repertoire of 20 minute menus.  

[Alenushka]

So, accept that ALL is not possibale.

Now, food. I went to school fullt time with 16 m old while freelancing. Few things save my sanity.

Crock Pot is saint of working moms. Put things in it. Set for 8-10 hours go home

Rice maker. It amke perfect rice while you make quick stir fry

Cooking on the week ends. Then Freeze. Some thign freeze great. Soups, lasagna, sheppart pie. Get home, warm up in the oven while making a salad.

Rachel Ray 30 min meals book.

I have veggie delivery from the farm. I shop on amazon.com

My kids never had issue napping with a nanny, only with me (-:

It will all work out. Perhap not 100 % in organic perfect way but who cares? YOur life is you life and you make it work!

[Danelle78]

Originally Posted by Alenushka 

So, accept that ALL is not possibale.

Now, food. I went to school fullt time with 16 m old while freelancing. Few things save my sanity.

Crock Pot is saint of working moms. Put things in it. Set for 8-10 hours go home

Rice maker. It amke perfect rice while you make quick stir fry

Cooking on the week ends. Then Freeze. Some thign freeze great. Soups, lasagna, sheppart pie. Get home, warm up in the oven while making a salad.

Rachel Ray 30 min meals book.

I have veggie delivery from the farm. I shop on amazon.com

My kids never had issue napping with a nanny, only with me (-:

It will all work out. Perhap not 100 % in organic perfect way but who cares? YOur life is you life and you make it work!

Yes to all this. Best advice I got was "lower your expectations". And yes, you will pass out on the couch in the evenings the first few months. And it's fine. Your child doesn't care about a clean bathroom, a spotless kitchen, etc. Also expect nurse-a-thons when you get home. He's simply reconnecting with you and wanting you. He'll get the hang of the day care routine. It's simply amazing to see all those little bodies passed out together. I don't know how the teachers do it, but it does happen. And remember, it gets easier.

[nstewart]

Thanks everyone! I've checked out the fly lady website (it's a bit overwhelming at first glance!) and will check out some cook books from the library and try to stock the freezer!