INTENSE nighttime refusal

[nilatti]

My 9-month-old son has been ECed since he was about 4 weeks old. For quite some time, we did nighttime EC (with cloth diaper backup). There was a blessed month when he actually was dry all night, waking only once to nurse (!). I think this was around 6 months old. However, since then, we've gotten really intense nighttime potty signalling, followed by refusal. I suspect this might have something to do with teething/not sleeping as deeply.

Here's what happens. He wakes up fussing, in a particular manner that I think of as "needs to use the potty." I offer the potty. He refuses, arching his back, wiggling away, screaming--and this is before his little tush touches the potty, so it's not one of those things where the potty itself is uncomfortable. I don't force it, but nurse him to sleep. JUST as he's ABOUT to fall asleep, he pees himself and FREAKS OUT. This is not one of those babies who will quietly tolerate a wet diaper. So then I change him (sometimes offering the potty again, but if I do, it's the same intense refusal), and nurse him to sleep AGAIN.

It wouldn't be so bad, but this process takes 10 minutes or more, involves changing a diaper in the dark, and happens more than once per night. Last night, I think it happened four or five times. I'm exhausted.

I'm also totally confused. He will happily use the potty--THIS same potty, in the same spot, with the same lighting conditions--right before he goes to sleep for the first time each night. He also happily uses it first thing each morning.

Has anyone else had this happen? I have no idea what to do. I work full time. I need some sleep, sometimes. And before you ask, no, DH doesn't get up with the baby in the middle of the night. He can sleep through the baby screaming right next to his head. Asking him to take some of the night time parenting doesn't help me get more sleep, because I have to shake him awake, wait for him to realize where he is and what needs to be done...and by then, our son is so far gone into freak out territory that nursing is the only thing that will calm him down.

[revolting]

Yes. Except add to it that after that, he then often stayed up for an hour. I personally have found that potty use decreases wet diapers, since he would fully empty his bladder on the potty and only pee a little in a diaper. If we pushed potty use, I got up only twice a night compared to four to five times in cloth (and he could not sleep in a wet diaper). I know this isn't popular on MDC, but I found that playing thirty seconds of a children's music video made him pee right away on the potty and then go back to sleep. Some kids, it would definitely wake up. But for us, it really helped. I am probably still up for ten minutes doing this, though.

[nilatti]

How old is your DS? Just curious if you have gotten past this yet (and if so, when).

As to the videos...at this point, I'll try anything, and that's something I hadn't thought of. I could have some cued up on the netbook and ready to go. If it doesn't work, no harm done, and if it does...oh, blessed sleep! Thanks for the idea. Even if it takes us down from 4 wakings per night to 2, that would be amazing.

[lisavark]

Have you tried nursing on the potty? It's a bit of an acrobatic challenge but that was the only way I was able to EC my DD at night! He could be waking up because he needs to pee but then getting frustrated because he doesn't want to pee, he wants to nurse and go back to sleep. (I mean, who really WANTS to get out of bed in the middle of the night to pee, right?) Since he's old enough to hold himself sitting up, you could try what I did: pick him up, put the boob in his mouth, and then sit him on the potty. :) 

Good luck with the wiping afterward, though. Oh, I guess with a boy you don't really need to wipe, right? LOL! 

[nilatti]

I actually just started nursing him on the potty the night before last. I had tried it before, but back when he couldn't sit up very well...and got pee everywhere! But now that he's big enough to do the sitting part himself, it's actually not that bad. It seems to be working pretty well, as long as I do (as you described) boob before potty.

I also wanted to report back to Revolting. We tried some YouTube Sesame Street songs, and they definitely kept him on the potty--but he was so stimulated that he stayed awake for another two and a half hours. I'm glad it works for you, I'm not philosophically opposed, and I really appreciated the suggestion--but I think it's not a winner for us. Worth a try, though!

[Emelee]

I hate when DD cries on the potty at night but when she does finally pee she stays asleep without fussing for SO much longer. Also, the boob calms her down too when she's sitting there, as we keep the little potty by the bed so I can pull it on during the night when needed. I haven't tried any music or videos because I think it would wake her up too much.

Oh, and I wanted to say that instead of worrying about wiping (if it's just pee) keep a little towel at hand to sit them down on afterward to "blot" off the pee. Just sitting them on it should get any of that extra wetness. That's what I do for DD and it works great for us! She can even nurse right afterward so she never wakes up too fully where we have difficulty getting her to sleep again.