Is anyone else super intense about personal space while nursing?

[nilatti]

I don't mean "during the nursing years," I mean "while engaged in the act of nursing." I'm normally a really mellow person. My husband and I have a great relationship. We've been together for nearly 15 years--more than half of our lives. Having a baby together is the best thing we've ever done. He's a great daddy.

But when I'm nursing, I want him a minimum of four feet away, and he doesn't get it. Once, when I was nursing our son, he came over and started kissing me and playing with my unoccupied breast. I swear, I almost threw up. 

I've asked him to give us space, but I don't think he really gets it. The other night, I was trying to nurse my son to sleep, lying down on the bed, and DH came and spooned behind me. I almost hit him. I know he thinks nursing is a beautiful thing, and he just wants to share this special time, but I have the most intense and visceral reaction to it.

I should note, I feel the same way about my mom coming and sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME on the couch while I'm nursing, so I don't think this is really about DH. It's just a thing--kind of a weird thing. I was wondering if anyone else felt this way or if I'm just a freak.

[hedgehogs4]

I don't think I'd mind spooning, but if my DH tried to touch me in a sexual manner I, too, would be pretty disgusted.  I didn't love when people sat next to me, but it didn't freak me out.  So, yeah, I totally get ya.

[Fynns Mommy]

People sitting next to me doesnt bother me much, depending on who it is. As long as it's someone I'm fairly close to, or someone I know has kids I dont really mind.

My boyfriend occasionally makes me angry with sexual advances too. He's usually joking, but he doesnt understand how much it bothers me. Spooning is fine, we do that plenty while I nurse in bed, nothing sexual. But the moment he touches me anywhere I dont want him to at the moment, I get mad. How can you want to do anything remotely sexual while nursing? Why would a man want to? Just leave me be! Even joking, I remember that later and it can affect the times when we actually are intimate. It's just disrespectful I think.

[nilatti]

I'm glad I'm not the only one. DH thinks I'm *crazy*.

[prone_to_wander]

My breasts at anytime are off limits now. I could not imagine my dh doing what yours did op. I'd go ballistic on him.

I'd tell him that if he ever wants to get lucky EVER again. He should back off now.

And then I'd sit in a chair where no one else could sit beside me.

When dh and I were first married, he always wanted to hug during fights. I took to climbing into the dry bathtub so that the closest he could get to ne would be to perch himself on the edge of the tub.

Tell him to respect your space.

[Buzzer Beater]

You are not a freak at all. I cannot spoon either while nursing, and don't want dh (especially) or anyone else near me while I nurse. DH has not touched my boobs in a looooooong time...

[JFTB1177]

I totally understand! I don't like dh touching my breasts at all right now, until I wean I associate my breasts with BFing and that's it. I can't feel sexual about them at all right now. :( Dh tried spooning too recently while I was nursing and it just felt weird. I can't mix the two either. So don't worry, you're NOT weird or alone!! :)

[corrabelle]

I'm not so much like this with dh..(if it were a sexual aproach i'd definitely freak..) but i don't mind him being right next to me, whatever.
What I DO have a problem with is nursing in front of other family members-especially men. My dad, his dad etc. Not that they get close...but I think i'd rather be completely naked in front of  a total stranger than even nurse under a blanket in front of my Dad.

Is anyone else like this?

When my first was born, I was at my moms for a few days in the beginning. My dad took apart my breast pump and washed the whole thing and I nearly DIED. He went on and on about how *cool* that thing was..and how "they just didn't have anything quite like that when you were a baby" etc.
I think it was so horrid for me because he is normally such a complete prude. He gets embarrassed over sex scenes on tv, maxi pad commercials, anything feminine etc. He turns red and leaves. You can't make any sex or even fart jokes around the guy.

But now, all of the sudden, he thinks my BREAST PUMP is COOL??? I can't handle it.

[JFTB1177]

Originally Posted by corrabelle 

I'm not so much like this with dh..(if it were a sexual aproach i'd definitely freak..) but i don't mind him being right next to me, whatever.
What I DO have a problem with is nursing in front of other family members-especially men. My dad, his dad etc. Not that they get close...but I think i'd rather be completely naked in front of  a total stranger than even nurse under a blanket in front of my Dad.

Is anyone else like this?

When my first was born, I was at my moms for a few days in the beginning. My dad took apart my breast pump and washed the whole thing and I nearly DIED. He went on and on about how *cool* that thing was..and how "they just didn't have anything quite like that when you were a baby" etc.
I think it was so horrid for me because he is normally such a complete prude. He gets embarrassed over sex scenes on tv, maxi pad commercials, anything feminine etc. He turns red and leaves. You can't make any sex or even fart jokes around the guy.

But now, all of the sudden, he thinks my BREAST PUMP is COOL??? I can't handle it.

This made me lol!! I totally agree with you on the dad thing too! :) My dad passed away almost 4 years ago but believe me I would have been soooooo embarrassed too! I don't nurse in front of my FIL or brother either, even covered.
 

[Fynns Mommy]

I nurse in front of men as long as I'm covered. Nobody has ever seemed uncomfortable, and I'd always thought that if anyone would be, it would be my dad. But he doesnt mind covered nursing. I was at a parade though on Saturday and was sitting with my grandpa on my left. It was too hot to bother trying to cover, DS would have uncovered me anyway, so I just nursed on the right side and tried to be discreet. I purposely wore a nursing tank with a full sling (for lots more coverage than my side-sling ones) that day so I wouldnt have to cover. That was actually the first time I'd ever NIP uncovered. My grandpa knew I was nursing, and just kept his attention elsewhere. That was a relief considering I was nervous about nursing uncovered right next to him, or in public in general. I'm glad he didnt seem bothered in the slightest, especially since my grandma didnt breast feed my mom or my aunt. But my mom breast fed my brother and me around him, so that probably helped.

[Deepfeet]

I sorta think its a cultural thing. I spent the first few months of DS' life living with my folks in Southern Africa - in this region, you'd be hard pressed to find a man that felt uncomfortable with a whipped out boob in a babe's mouth. It was definitely a shock to DH, but he got more and more comfortable with me Bfing in public and around other men. As for Bfing around my father - we didn't skip a beat. It felt very natural.

HOWEVER. Back in North America, sitting around FIL - I cannot nurse comfortably at all. I've tried several times, but he just gives off this vibe that sends me, my breasts and my babe running to the other room. I don't like it. Mostly because I feel like it implies what I'm doing is risque, taboo, inappropriate. UGH!  I'm feeding your grandson. I'd like it if you weren't fighting off pervy thoughts right now.

As for nursing in close proximity to DH: In the beginning - first 3 months, he couldn't touch me - it would just make me queasy (But I suffered from crazy feelings bfing for the first 3 months. I had to deep breath my way through the first minute or so every time),

Now that DS is nursing less and I feel like I have more space to myself, I enjoy having DH sit next to me, cuddle, put his arm around me etc. He often does in public - in this protective way. Not necessary but I think it's cute.

[sharita]

For me, it was like there was an internal switch that changes over my breasts from being sexual part of me to strictly for baby nourishment.  During my pregnancy, for the most part, they were still DH's but one night during about my 8th month, I noticed when he was trying to be playful with them, it just felt icky and I had to stop him.  Something was just plain gross and WRONG feeling.  The very next morning I noticed I was leaking colostrum already so it seems to be for me that the moment they are in milk (or eve pre milk) production, that switch flips and they are now in strictly baby feeding mode.  mentally for me, they can't seem to serve both purposes.  Some of my friends they say it doesn't bother them but for me, sorry it does.  Weird I guess but everytime I am nursing (this is baby #5 to nurse) this has been how it has been.  Then about a few weeks after fully weaning, DH is free to touch them again and it doesn't feel weird.