frustrated and needing advice

[jattack]

Okay, i'll try to make a long story short. I've been with my man for awhile now and we don't wawant kids right now, but perhaps in a few years. The problem is with the child support he is paying his ex, we'll never be able to afford it. His ex managed to get him tagged with child support for a child who isnt even his, so he has to pay for two kids despite only one being his. And she has no remorse. All she wants is more money so she doesn't have to work and can stay home. Kids are nothing but paychecks to her. We can barely afford food and gas despite both of us working full time. I love him to death, but i am having a hard time coping with the fact that his ex has taken away us being able to ever support a kid of our own, yet she keeps popping them out and collecting child support from several men.

Any advice on what to do or how to cope? I'm losing my mind here. His lazy ex is taking away every chance i wanted with him and doesn't care.

[JMJ]

I believe that he can challenge the paternity on the child that is not his.  I know you're not a single parent but you might post in the single parents forum to get more information on this.

[jattack]

He did challenge paternity and the judge even admitted he proved that the mother got him to sign the papers fraudulently, but its not in the childs best interest to not make him pay. And thanks, i'll post in the other forum. I'm rather new at this.

[*MamaJen*]

If he doesn't think it's his child, he needs to prove that with a paternity test. If he truly can't afford the payments (say if his income changed), he can ask to have them lowered.

Otherwise, well, kids are expensive. You have an option of being with him or not being with him, knowing that he has a legal and ethical responsibility to pay out this money every month and support his children. You have the choice of staying with him or leaving him, given what you know about his financial responsibilities. But you can't change the fact that he has these responsibilities.