15 month old nursing all. the. time.

[StlRNMommy]

I need some guidance on what to do for my 15 month old. Our nursing relationship has went remarkably well, and for the first time I'm not sure what to do. When she was around 12 months I wanted to decrease nursing sessions to mornings, before naps (2 per day), before bedtime and through out the night since we cosleep. If she wanted to nurse outside of those occasions I would try to distract her, and if she got too worked up, I'd nurse her. When we were out and about or at other people's house it was as if she didn't even think of nursing.  This went well for some time.

Then realized she had "picked up" another nursing session post- breakfast time, and was always automatically frustrated right away when asking to nurse, like she was expecting me to say "no", or "later". This also coincided with what I suspect is her cutting a molar. So, I decided to nurse her whenever she wanted to get her through cutting the molar. I did this because I felt like I was causing her some distress since the frustration occured most every time. I thought I imposed "rules" too early, which is why she added the new nursing session.

My problem is she is now nursing constantly when we are at home together. This has been for about 2 weeks now. If she is near me or in my arms she wants milky. She's on and off every few minutes, and doing her normal pinching, picking, acrobatic moves. I was hoping once we mastered nursing times (the before sleep, nighttime, etc.) I could begin to work on stopping those annoying habits, too. My supply is through the roof, to the point I'm leaking at work! It's like she's an infant again! I'm stuck between giving her what she needs and deserves, and my happiness with the nursing relationship. I'm unsure if this is a teeth issue or not. Is it too early to impose rules? Am I just being a softie?

Thanks for the help!

[Thandiwe]

I think it's important to remember that nursing is a relationship between both of you.  I don't think it's the teething that caused her to increase her sessions.  You mentioned work; maybe she is starting to feel clingy to you when you're around because she has absences with you?  My youngest is about 16 months old, and I find that lately he's going through a really clingy phase where he never wants to be away from me.  When I'm with him, nursing is his special one-on-one connection.  He does it a lot, too!

If it isn't working for you, find some limits that you feel comfortable with enforcing and stick with it.  A good friend of mine is a LLL leader, and she is fond of saying that breastfeeding is an early form of discipline.  Not that you use it as a punishment or reward, but that you can give your kids structure and direction through limits and boundaries.  You must feel respected yourself.

Mama.  It is a lot when they start increasing feedings when you wanted to decrease!  I hope you two can find some balance together.

[l3erly]

I share some similar issues with nursing my 16 month old. I am also ready to wean. I try to cut out the before bead and night feedings mainly to help with DDs teeth. They are starting to show some deterioration. Some days she does well and is able to sleep lying beside me or is distracted by our outings, etc. Other days we are feeding ALL DAY, especially when we are just hanging out at home; seems like boredom. It's been a struggle and at times I feel awful when she is upset, trying to soothe herself. I too thought it might be teething during the times she is nursing/soothing heavily. Whatever is going on, I just get back on the saddle and try to continue our 'routine' of no before bed and night time feeding. If it works that day, great! If not, I just keep trying. I agree we just need to find a routine and stick to it. Sticking to it is the more challenging part :)

I'm sorry I'm not much help, but just wanted to share and offer support. Best of luck on our journey through weaning :)

[jaytee]

Hi, I'm new here, but this issue is the exact reason I came to these boards.  My daughter is 15 months old, too, and all she wants to do is nurse nurse nurse when she sees me.  It's to a point where I feel I don't get to do anything else with her at all, because when I'm around, she just wants my nipple in her mouth.  And then when she's nursing, she's always pulling off and on, twisting all around, pinching and pulling my other side.  When I try to move her hand or cover up, she gets really upset and fussy.

My son was really into nursing when he was a baby as well, but I feel my daughter is even more aggressively so.  My son never had his hand down my shirt; my daughter tries constantly.  I can't hold her when we're in public, because she's always pulling at my top.   When I try to distract her or deflect her, she gets really mad and starts crying.

She eats solids just fine, and she gets enough water to drink.  It's pretty clear that she is doing this for comfort and not nutrition.  At this point, it's not entirely clear to me how much I'm even producing.  Sometimes I can see the milk in her mouth and I hear her swallowing, but I rarely feel full.  But that could also be that she nurses so often that I don't get a chance to get engorged at all.

I nursed my son until he was two, and I wouldn't mind going at least as long with my daughter if there is some moderation.  But doing this with her all the time is a big drag.  It makes me enjoy her less, and she's actually otherwise a very pleasant baby.  My husband says that she's fine when I'm not around, but when she sees me, she gets really clingy and demanding.

We recently came back from a pretty big trip overseas, and she had been sick and teething almost the entire time.  I know she was out of her element and nursing for comfort.  But we have been home for two weeks now, and she is healthy.  Otherwise, nothing has changed.  I would like to set some limits, but I remember it being difficult with my son, and it seems like it's going to be even more so with my daughter.  I don't want nursing to be an all or nothing situation - my husband already brought up the option of weaning - but I certainly can't keep on like this.

Thanks for letting me vent.

JT