If you cosleep, do you go to bed at the same time as your kids?

[elisheva]

Just out of curiosity...

[new2this]

We no longer co sleep, however DD was in the pack n play for about an hour or two before we headed to bed. At that time she normally woke up for her first feeding and then came to bed with us. 

[eclipse]

We no longer cosleep, but I voted no. I would if I was exhausted, or (with real little babies) if they happened to be up late and ready for bed around the same time I was. Most of the time, though, the kids were in bed several hours before I was.

[steph66]

I voted generally no, for both of my kids. I agree with the PP who said if they were up late or had little babies or were utterly exhausted, then I'd go to bed with them. I use "my" time after they're in bed to watch shows with my partner, surf the net, do dishes, clothes etc. And just really enjoy some time without two little critters crawling around on me!

[Honey693]

My kids go to bed at 1030 and it's not unheard of for me to still be up at 2.  Sometimes I'll stay in bed and read while they're snuggled up next to me, but more often I'm picking up around the house or interneting.

[katelove]

Nope. I did when she was tiny but that was because she would sleep the first part of the evening with us in the lounge room. Then we'd all go to bed when she woke for a feed around 10ish. 

Now, I feed her to sleep in our bed around 6ish and then get up. DH and I have a nice, quiet evening together (between feeds) and we join her in bed again around 10ish.

It's lovely to have that quiet time in the evenings. I really miss it if she goes to bed late.

[HopefulJo]

I voted yes. Our DS is still little, and he'll fall asleep in arms or in the swing while we're relaxing for the evening, and I actually carry him to bed when we go to bed. A few times, I've nursed him down in bed, then gotten up again, but that doesn't usually  go well.

[springbride]

Originally Posted by new2this 

We no longer co sleep, however DD was in the pack n play for about an hour or two before we headed to bed. At that time she normally woke up for her first feeding and then came to bed with us. 

This is exactly what we did with DD and will do with this little guy as soon as he decides it's time to come join us *EDD is today :)* <---- just had to share 

 

[Birdie B.]

Definitely not. She goes down around 9, and I enjoy having a couple of hours to myself or with my husband.  If I'm really tired or sick or something, I'll go down with her, and sometimes I fall asleep while putting her down, but normally we join her in bed later on.

[Calicara]

Thanks for posting; I had the same question, though I'd also like to know how people put their babies down beforehand? Right now we swaddle our 9 month old and I nurse her to sleep in the middle of our bed. I'd like to transition the first part of the night (from 8-11 or so) by placing her in pack-n-play or crib. When I nurse her to sleep and try to place her in the crib, she wakes up and cries. Can't seem to get her to stay asleep in the crib without fussing (she is quite persistant). Any ideas to help with this transition? We are fine with her sleeping with us once we go to bed, but it would be nice to have some extra time at night. I should note that one of us sleeps with her during nap-time during the day in our bed.

[greenmulberry]

I nurse DD (4 month old) down  to sleep in my bed and then I usually get up and take care of some extra things before coming back to bed in an hour or so.

Occasionally, if I don't have any chores to take care of I might lay next to her and watch TV in bed.

[elisheva]

Originally Posted by Calicara 

Thanks for posting; I had the same question, though I'd also like to know how people put their babies down beforehand? Right now we swaddle our 9 month old and I nurse her to sleep in the middle of our bed. I'd like to transition the first part of the night (from 8-11 or so) by placing her in pack-n-play or crib. When I nurse her to sleep and try to place her in the crib, she wakes up and cries. Can't seem to get her to stay asleep in the crib without fussing (she is quite persistant). Any ideas to help with this transition? We are fine with her sleeping with us once we go to bed, but it would be nice to have some extra time at night. I should note that one of us sleeps with her during nap-time during the day in our bed.

Honestly? I put mine in the middle of the king-sized bed. We have bedrails on both sides. If you're concerned that you'd like the use of the bed while she sleeps...we use other locations...

[Ansley]

I used to go to bed at the same time as DD. That was when she was going to bed around 9-9:30. Now though, she goes down at 7 every night and sometimes I am at work until 9:30. She still sleeps with me most of the time...she falls asleep in her own bed (which is in my room) and then she gets in my bed around 11 each night.

[MJB]

My school-aged kids coslept until 5 and 2 (all the time-- didn't even have their own beds) and I almost never went to sleep at the same time as them. My 11 mo. old sleeps in her own bed for the first half of the night and cosleeps for the second half-- I obviously don't go to sleep at the same time as her. I really, really need grown-up time after the kids go to sleep. 

[midwifema]

I read Pantley's the "no cry sleep solution book" she gave some good tips about getting baby used to sleeping in a crib/bed for naps, bedtime.  My 4 month old baby would only sleep in our arms or right next to me in our bed and with the tips in the book, we've managed to get him to sleep in his co-sleeper before I go to bed and I bring him back into family bed with me when I go to sleep.  I worry less about him when he is in the co-sleeper rather than in our bed alone.  Sears sleep book also has some good tips.  They both discuss things like wearing baby down in a sling and carefully transferring feet first onto a warm sheet, using white noise so they don't wake up, bedtime routines and putting the baby to bed drowsy but awake so they get used to falling asleep in the crib/co-sleeper rather than in your arms/nursing.  Pantley also has a good section about removing the pacifier or breast before they are fully asleep so they don't get dependent on these.  Our baby would wake up as soon as the pacifier fell out when he napped but now he spits it out - it's pretty funny.  I think putting baby down drowsy but awake and getting them used to falling asleep on their own is key to getting them to sleep sometimes alone, also because they have 20 minute sleep cycles (the books explain this) and so if they stir and you are not there they will wake up every 20 minutes if not used to going to sleep solo.  Good luck! 

[teraze]

Sweet DS is now 7 and half months and I nurse him to sleep in our king bed.  I then join him when DH goes to sleep, somewhere between 10 and 11, and we sleep together until DS wakes up anywhere between 6:45 - 7:45.

Until a few months ago, though, DS was with me WHEREVER I was...  But he would sleep through anything - it was so suitable.  Missing those days and that sweet little newborn already.  (But obviously loving our fun bigboy!)  :)

[littlegreenlady]

I stayed in bed with my son for the first year.

I would listen to books on an ipod, or go to sleep.

It was kind of weird going to bed at 7-8, but I needed the rest.

He has always woken up really easily, so it was just easier for me to stick around. I would lay down with him at nap time also.

Whenever it came up most people thought I was nuts, or suggested solutions.

I really didn't mind (usually)

It started to get to me around his first birthday, so i began leaving him on the bed alone a little at a time.

Now he naps alone on the bed waking up once or twice to nurse during his 2-3 hour nap.

At night it can take a long time to get him to go down and sometimes I fall asleep in the process.

He still wakes if there is a lot of noise, but I usually get up to get some work done on the computer at night.

so I voted generally no, but I'm thinking it's probably more 50/50

he is 20 months old

[Llyra]

I coslept with all mine for at least a year. No, I did not go to bed the same time as them, except for in the very earliest months. By four months, my kids were going to bed substantially earlier than I was. I would nurse them or rock them down, and then leave them to sleep until I came to bed. Once they were mobile, we were sleeping on a futon mattress placed directly on the floor, in a babyproofed room, so I did not hesitate to leave them.

[HollyBearsMom]

no.  Even when my son was infant we didn't.  He was going to bed at 6:30!! I was barely getting home from work. Even as a toddler/older kid it was "off to bed, big kiss and see you soon".

He went thru stages when he had trouble sleeping, I would lay down with him and promptly fall asleep myself, LOL but those were few and far between.

[Refuging]

I've been trying not to, but it's actually nice to get the cuddle time in since I work full time during the day.