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Do you ever get away for the weekend with you SO?

post #1 of 53
Thread Starter 

If so, how often are you able/do you do so?  What are the ages of your kids?  Who watches them while you are gone?

 

 

post #2 of 53

Dh and I have gone away once for an overnight trip to celebrate our 10th anniversary.  It was at a resort about 45 minutes from our home.  MIL stayed with the kids.  They were 2 years, 5 years and 7 years.   I would like to be able to have a weekend or two once in a while as our kids are getting older and happy to stay with family but our family is from out of town and the opportunity does not come up often.  We do sometimes go out for dinner, an afternoon, etc... if they offer to stay with the kids while visiting.  

post #3 of 53

 

Getting away alone isn't really an issue for us, since our dc are teens. We don't do it often, however, last summer they were both at summer camp (DS as a counsellor and DD as a camper). For the first time ever, DH and I went to our cottage, alone except for the dog for a week. It was a preview of our retirement years, and I have to say, it did feel a little odd. We enjoyed it, but it was very quiet and a completely different experience. We missed the fun and activity of having kids running around. 

 

 

post #4 of 53

We usually do a weekend away maybe once or twice a year.  It was more often when we only had 1 kid.

 

Next month, we'll be doing it again.  Our boys are 9 and 5, and they only ever stay with my mom for that long.

post #5 of 53

We just went away for an overnight to a hotel/resort a couple weeks ago for my 40th birthday, for the first time since we had kids!   Our kids are 4 and 6.  My parents (who live a couple hours away) came to stay with them. Younger wasn't ready for an overnight until recently.  My parents said next time we should go for a real vacation, like 5 days - we will definitely take them up on it, hopefully in the next year!!!

post #6 of 53

My kids actually go to my moms for a sleepover about once a month.  She loves it, they love it, and mommy and daddy get some very much needed ALONE time.  We usually just do dinner and a movie (At home mostly, weve only ever done our first movie together a couple weeks ago!) Stay up late, have a few drinks together, talk, now that the weather is nice we will sit outside and just yak away.  Weve come to really love sleepover weekends, and my kids absolutly ADORE IT! 

post #7 of 53

We're planning our first one and I'm so freakin' excited about it!!!

 

Our kids are 6, 4, and 2 1/2; my mom will come to my house for the weekend. Honestly, it was easy arranging for her to watch the kids (she only lives 2 miles away) but we're still undecided about what to do with the dog.

post #8 of 53
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

My kids actually go to my moms for a sleepover about once a month.  She loves it, they love it, and mommy and daddy get some very much needed ALONE time.  We usually just do dinner and a movie (At home mostly, weve only ever done our first movie together a couple weeks ago!) Stay up late, have a few drinks together, talk, now that the weather is nice we will sit outside and just yak away.  Weve come to really love sleepover weekends, and my kids absolutly ADORE IT! 



That sounds awesome!  That's what my parents wanted to do when the kids and I moved out... but now that my move is on hold... they refuse to babysit.  I asked my Mom about being a back-up for when EX cancels so BF and I could actually plan a little weekend trip this summer and she told me she didn't understand what was wrong with "my generation not wanting to raise our kids."   :(   *sighs*

 

So I was just curious if others got out at all... And it seems like not many do with littles... hmm...

post #9 of 53

nope.  not us.  heck, we can't even go away for a weekend WITH the child.  we have a zillion mouths to feed around our place, though. chicken3.gif  but thank you for sharing that light at the end of the tunnel.  i keep telling dh that kids do get older (and there are people who will farm-sit). 

post #10 of 53

No, we never have.  Our only vacations are with the kids. 

post #11 of 53

I honestly think this depends on the amount of support close by and the willingness of said support. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post

 

So I was just curious if others got out at all... And it seems like not many do with littles... hmm...


Also, that was a super crappy, passive agressive, just NASTY thing for your mother to say.  What on earth does having a night away kid free have to do with raising your children the other 125% of the time?  ITS ONE NIGHT your talking about.  Not an entire week.  Prolly not even a full 24 hours. 

 

I know the kind of time and effort you spend making your kids your top priority.  And for your mom to say something like that is just meant to hurt you.  Dont let it.  Because someone who talks to their daughter like that has ANY business handing out parenting advice, right?  ;-)
 

 

post #12 of 53

No, and we don't really care to.  We enjoy having dd around.  She's 9 and we've never been away together on our own without her.  We both get plenty of alone time on trips that we each have to take by ourselves.  I guess it boils down to romance (I'm assuming by the post) and we don't need to be away for that to happen.  We're in our 40's and 50's, though, so most of life is in a healthy perspective.  Anything we want to do "alone" we manage here at home just fine.  If we're doing something interesting away from home, we like dd to experience that, too, as she is an excellent traveler and new places are even more magical when you see them from a kid's perspective.  Not saying there is anything wrong with wanting to do something alone, just that the need to be away from our dd isn't there for us (and my mom lives with us, so we have a great built-in support system, but... we just don't feel the need to be away).

post #13 of 53

We haven't but thats because we have no one here to help out. All our family lives in another state. Now if we lived near them it would be a different story. 

post #14 of 53

My mom has our boys spend the night every month or so. 

 

Over Memorial weekend my DH and I had a weekend alone and my mom watched our boys, but that was more out of necessity then wanting a weekend away. We were picking up some stuff from my FIL's house and we couldn't fit it all in without taking out the back seats of our van.

post #15 of 53

We have never spent a night away from the kids and I don't have any interest in it (I don't think dh does either).  We also have never had a date night.  When we go out we take them, even if it's to a nice restaurant.  We went to this fairly fancy steakhouse on the beach in Encinitas for our anniversary last year and took them both.  Everyone there thought we were nuts.  lol  But that was more about the fact that we decided to do it at the last minute than anything else.  But anyhow, I think maybe the reason we don't feel a need to do it is that we lived together for 14 years before Milo was born, so we kinda did all the stuff we really wanted to do.  I'm wow'ing at the previous poster who had never seen a movie out with her dh.  If our relationship was newer, I'm sure we'd want more alone time.

post #16 of 53

We got away for our first DD-free night a month or two before DS was born. I'm guessing it may be another 3+ years before we get to do it again... but I do want to make an effort to go away with just DH and the baby, now that we know DD's OK staying with Gran. Obviously taking a baby isn't the same as going away just as a couple, but it's more low-maintenance than taking the baby *and* the three-year-old!

 

For us the lack of weekend getaways were simply because DD coslept and breastfed, and would have been traumatised by being away from us.

 

I'm sorry your mother was so unpleasant! FWIW, I've noticed a lot of older women had little support when they were raising their kids... and now that the pendulum is swinging back towards more involved grandparents, not to mention more involved fathers and a greater focus on couple time, some women take the attitude "Awesome, I'm glad parenting isn't as lonely a job for my daughter as it was for me". But others seem to have a kind of "I had to suffer, so should she" attitude, which is really sad. I hope if parenting is easier on DD than it was on me, I'll be happy for her! But maybe that's your mother's issue... in which case, it's really not about you at all. You know?

post #17 of 53

My kids are 17, 15 and 12.  We have never gone away without them.  There has never been anyone to watch them when they were younger.  We were going to this week because it's our 20th anniversery but the hotel where we were married wants $250 a night and it's a 2 night minimum.  I just cant spend the money and the idea kind of lost it's polish for me.

post #18 of 53


That was me.  Yea, everyone else we knew thought that was a little odd too.  It was just never something he was interested in at all.  hes not a big movie freak, like me.  But even most of the movies I see are at HOME.  I love watching them from my couch in my pajamas with a beer on the end table.  ;-) We have been together since Mayish of 2000.  So it was our first movie in 11 years!  It used to bother me, but then we kinda started to take pride in that kind of record.  LOL 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post

 I'm wow'ing at the previous poster who had never seen a movie out with her dh.  If our relationship was newer, I'm sure we'd want more alone time.


Unfortunatly the first one we saw was The Hangover 2.  What a disapointment.  But he seemed to enjoy the whole gesture, so we will do it again now that our streak has been broken. 
 

 

post #19 of 53

 I am planning to leave my kids overnight for the first time this summer for my anniversary.  They are 1, 3, and 5. 

 

Previously, the older two have spent the night with my mom when I was hospitalized (for childbirth and for illness).  The oldest has spent the night for fun.  The baby never has, but he is night-weaned, so I think he can make it one night. 

post #20 of 53

My son is still a boob maniac and I have a gazillion chickens, four dogs, hutch full of rabbits and a homestead to run....soooo, no, we don't get out much.

 

But I dream of the day, and I know it's not far off, when my beloved MIL and SIL will come and stay at our house for a weekend so my DH and I can go spend a weekend in Montreal. We used to go there for romantic holidays all the time, it was our favorite...I can't wait to get back.  For the most part though, when I think of vacations, I see my kids with me. I traveled a lot as a kid, road trips and things like that and those memories are so special to me. I hate being separated from my kids and while Friday night through Sunday morning sounds good...I don't think I'd go longer than that.

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