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Do you ever get away for the weekend with you SO? - Page 2

post #21 of 53


I totally agree that what your mom said was nasty.

 

However, knowing your story, I would not spend resources and energy on a weekend away with a guy who hasn't been following through for you. I would put those resources into finding and affording a place to live away from your nasty, passive-aggressive mother.

 

 

Quote
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

I honestly think this depends on the amount of support close by and the willingness of said support. 

 


Also, that was a super crappy, passive agressive, just NASTY thing for your mother to say.  What on earth does having a night away kid free have to do with raising your children the other 125% of the time?  ITS ONE NIGHT your talking about.  Not an entire week.  Prolly not even a full 24 hours. 

 

I know the kind of time and effort you spend making your kids your top priority.  And for your mom to say something like that is just meant to hurt you.  Dont let it.  Because someone who talks to their daughter like that has ANY business handing out parenting advice, right?  ;-)
 

 



 

post #22 of 53

Dh and I have never been away for an entire weekend, and we've been gone together for exactly 1 night since our kids were born. It was very recent, and our kids are 13 and 14.

 

We do not have family we can trust with our kids, and one of our kids has special needs that make sleepovers with friends not an option for her. It has only been with our kids getting older than we can both be good parents to our kids and be away over night.  Other people's situations are very different.

 

We have found lots and lots of different ways to nurture our relationship and take time for each other without being gone overnight. It's really not a big deal.

post #23 of 53

DD just turned 5 and we've never had a weekend away.

Our 10 year anniversary is next year and since it doesn't look like anyone close to us is willing to watch the girls for a 3 night weekend (I've also gotten the passive aggressive comments about Mom about mothers leaving their children)... we'll likely be taking them with us!

 

I don't know.  Being a mother 24/7 is TOUGH.  If I am lucky enough to live to see grandchildren, I will do everything in my power to give my daughter's a break here and there.

I also recognize that marriages need attention and would be supportive of my daughter's taking a weekend away here and there with their husbands.  I would never make the nasty

comments my mother has made to me about certain things.

post #24 of 53

Nope not yet.  Dh would love to, but I don't feel comfortable leaving the "baby" (he's 15 months old!) yet since he still nurses and co-sleeps.  Dd has spent the night at my parents house several times and ds will join her when we feel ready and I'm sure it will be lovely...and quiet! :)

 

As for your mom's comments...eesh.  You know perfectly well who is raising your kids-YOU!  Just because some people choose not to do it, doesn't mean that you should not take a weekend to yourself and your dp if you feel comfortable with it and want to do it!

post #25 of 53

Nope. We don't have anyone close to watch them, and when my kids were little, I didn't really want to. Now that they're older, I think I'm more open to it. Next year is our 20 year anniversary, and I'd like to go somewhere nice with dh. My sister lives about 2 hours away and would happily take the kids for a weekend (especially when they'd be 11 and 8). They're old enough to think that was a fun adventure and not being abandoned!  If we'd had family closer, I would have been comfortable doing weekends away when they hit 3-4, I think.

post #26 of 53

We do every couple of years.  The IL's watch the boys for us.  We go out to a movie and out to dinner.  Or we go to Chicago to see a Cubs game.  We sleep in without worrying what the kids are getting into.  It's great.

post #27 of 53

When they were younger I desperately wanted to, but the most 'away from the kids' time we'd get was when they'd go for a sleepover at my folks place.

 

Now that they're older and more independant of us I don't really yearn for those kid free days/night. DH and I get lots of alone time, privacy and we get sitters often so we can go out. It seems now we're taking weekends away to be WITH the kids!

 

But man oh man if you'd have asked this question three years ago I'd be all like "Why??? Are you offering??? Please!!!"

post #28 of 53
Wish we could. Our families are not much help, they live far away. We adore our babysitter but I don't quite trust that she could handle the kids for an overnight. Dh travels a lot internationally for business, wish I could tag along once in a while, sigh.
post #29 of 53

We haven't yet. DD2 is still waking up to nurse most nights. Once she's been fully nightweaned, we're going to try one night at a nearby hotel. We have an advantage over most people, though. DS1 is still at home, and is 18. He's more than able to babysit his siblings for an evening, and can even have his cousin (16, and our chosen babysitter when ds1 is out with us in the evening, such as ds1's recent grad banquet) spend the night. They get to hang out, and the little ones get two awesome babysitters.

 

I didn't mind the lack of weekends alone for a long time, but it's starting to get to me. DH and I have lived together for 10 years (married almost 9) and we've never had a weekend to ourselves, because I already had ds1 when dh moved in. The most we've had is one night, when my parents took ds1. I'd like some alone time with my wonderful husband!

post #30 of 53

No, and no time in the near future.  DS2 is 15 months and DS1 is almost 16 years old.  I don't have anyone I would feel comfortable with for an overnight, plus DS2 is still a nursing maniac.  We haven't even had a date night, much to MIL's fury (well, that's overstating it...but she's "offered" at least 40 times--and that's not overstating it).  We might go out for a cup of coffee or something in a couple months.  We are kind of homebodies anyhow.

post #31 of 53

Yeah, we've had a night away once or twice a year since DS was about 2 years old. The kids' grandparents watch them while we're gone -- either a sleepover with the ILs who live nearby, or my mom will fly down and watch them at our house. They're all wonderful grandparents, so we don't worry for a split second while we're gone, and the kids always have a great time. This year, for our 10th anniversary, we're thinking of going away for 2 or 3 nights and are really looking forward to it. 

post #32 of 53

No.  Never.  We have no one to watch our kids.  We have gone out for dinner 2 times since we had our ds 4 years ago.  2 dates in 4 years.  For all of you who have people to watch your babes...go out and have fun and enjoy!!!

post #33 of 53

Ds is just 8 months and Dh and I just last week left him for the first time for about 3 hours with my mom (and we weren't alone, we were bringing two of my siblings to a movie). He did perfectly, took the pumped bottle of breastmilk, and fell asleep in her arms :) So now we are excited to go out alone at least to just have dinner and a movie. If he tolerates our date well again, we plan on doing a little 24 hour getaway right after he turns one (I'll of course leave lots of pumped breastmilk, I plan on nursing till at least 2, hopefully 3!). 

post #34 of 53
We can and have gone out for an overnight, DS1 stays with MIL or my mom or my sister. He is very comfortable at any of those places so we do not worry. Haven't left DS2 yet, but I'm ready! He is nightweaned so as soon as an opportunity arises to get away, I'm planning on taking it. With or without my DP smile.gif As for date nights, we can get those whenever we want so yeah, we try to do it often. DP works out of town during the week though so I think it's hard for him to want to voluntarily be away from them on the weekend.
post #35 of 53

Yes!  It's super easy for us though, because our children are from previous marriages so they spend lots of time with their other parents.  During the summer there's lots of kid-free time!  SO travels a lot for work, so it's fun when I can tag along with him.  :)  We're currently TTC, so hopefully this will be our last kid-free summer.  :)  As much as we enjoy it, we won't necessarily miss it either, kwim?  Things will definitely be a lot different when we have a new little one.  SO has family close, but I don't envision any of them wanting to babysit overnight...and I'm not sure I'd want them to either.  As much as I love them...I just don't see it happening.  And that's okay!  As long as we can squeeze in a few date nights here and there we'll be good. :)

post #36 of 53

We had a week away once when ODS was 5 and ODD was 10 months.  It was our honeymoon.  Haven't had so much as a night away since (unless you count being in the hospital after giving birth and even then DH wasn't with me LOL).

post #37 of 53

We haven't ever and probably won't... for a very very very long time! I don't know about a whole night/weekend away, but an occasional dinner without kids in tow would be kinda nice. This happens maybe once every other year? I don't really mind though. DH and I never "dated" and I had a child before we were together that he jumped right into being a FT dad to (DS was barely 1)... so I have nothing to miss! We do have alone time at night and watch movies, which I'm happy with heartbeat.gif

 

I would probably feel much different if I had family around who were trustworthy. My closest trustworthy family are in Montana and Hawaii and we are in sunny FL! I have a SIL here who I trust for short occasions, like 3 hrs max... and preferably only my oldest. She doesn't have any kids and is scared of diaper changing lol.gif

post #38 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magali View Post

No.  Never.  We have no one to watch our kids.  We have gone out for dinner 2 times since we had our ds 4 years ago.  2 dates in 4 years.  For all of you who have people to watch your babes...go out and have fun and enjoy!!!



truedat.gif

post #39 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post

If so, how often are you able/do you do so?  What are the ages of your kids?  Who watches them while you are gone?

 

 



No, we've never left dd for a weekend. Dd is 11.

\We have 2 indoor dogs, 3 indoor cats and a hamster to care for too. We don't have anyone  to care for dd for a whole weekend and care for the dogs, etc. It kind of cramps our ability to go away for a weekend even taking dd along.

Someday the pets will die and dd will be older. We aren't having more kids and probably will never have this many animals in our house at once again.

 

 

 

post #40 of 53

ROTFLMAO.gifROTFLMAO.gifROTFLMAO.gifROTFLMAO.gifROTFLMAO.gif

 

You're too funny!  Or was this supposed to be serious? orngtongue.gif

 

 

We have 2 under 3 (one still a nursling), with no one that we trust to leave hem with overnight.  My husband and I both work retail type jobs that require evening & weekends, with no set schedule week to week.  We rarely have the same day off, let alone 2 (especially not in a row).  And we're broke.  So no, no getaways for us!

 

 

And that was a very mean thing for your mother to say. irked.gif  Don't believe a word of it.  Every other job gives you vacation time, personal/sick days, weekends, etc., so don't let her make you feel guilty for wanting time off from parenting.

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