Plumber was flirting with me--what next?

[GranoLLLy-girl]

I have to laugh because I'm SO rusty at dating!  It's been 20 years.  I'm a little overweight but I do wear makeup.

So--I got a leak and called my home warranty folks.  They sent a totally adorable guy over to fix my leak.  Throughout the course of the hour that he was there he told me I had the prettiest hair and eyes, called me babydoll (which I thought was cute because he apologized as soon as he said it), and my neighbor who came to see what was up--even said that he was flirting. 

I've been divorced now for several months--but before that, I've been alone for almost two years--ex left us high and dry well over a year ago (seems like ten) and before that, made himself incredibly scarce--he was never ever home. During that time, I've done nothing. No dates, no flirting, nothing.  This is new territory.

Now here's the thing:  cute plumber left some tools behind.  What do I do?  My neighbor said:  duh, you have his cell number because he called to let you know he was on the way.  She's right!  He didn't have a ring on and the subject of on-line dating came up he said something like:  I've tried that, and I've tried church, too.  In reference to meeting people.  He DIDN'T say:  I met my wife this way...or anything like that.  Neighbor says call him and offer to return tools over a drink somewhere.  If nothing else, returning the tools would be the nice thing.  But I don't want to look pushy.  Plus, my kids are young--7 and 9---I have pics of them all over the house--but maybe he's not into a woman with kids?  I mean, he did see their bedrooms on the way to the master bath where the leak was coming from.   I'm not really looking for anything serious--but dinner would be nice.  I have to admit though, he was so cute--I think he could do better than me in the looks department...and he might be a couple of years younger.  Ugh.

WWYD?

[eggsandpancakes]

I would totally call and ask if he wants to come by and get them, or meet for lunch somewhere! I gives him the option of just picking them up, or going on a "date" without feeling obligated to do either.

And don't be so hard on yourself! If you think he's cute, go hang out a bit! You don't have to be soul mates, or even go further than a pleasant afternoon!

[sparklefairy]

Is it that you doubt his motives or that you feel inadequate?

Call him and tell him he left the tools.

I can really identify with all that you are saying -- when I first started dating, I was so confused, wasn't sure what I wanted or what anything "meant." I still don't know what anything means , but I'm less confused.

So much of dating is not personal. The details don't matter as much as they seem to. I think that when it doesn't work out, it's probably less about me and more about where the other person is at the time.

I'm trying to figure out how to put this... I hear you saying that you're concerned that your appearance and the fact that you have half-grown children is a liability. Frankly, I am relatively thin right now, but have dated when "slightly overweight" and everywhere between. I don't want a guy who wants a particular body type. I will not be with someone who criticizes my appearance -- ever -- and I have no idea what peri-menopause/menopause will do to my metabolism, figure, etc.

Sorry to be so random and babbly --

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Sparkle--I feel inadequate.  Totally.   And I do agree with you regarding who you would date based on personal qualities over looks--there has to be something there initially--wouldn't you agree?  

Anyway...looks like I'll have to just call him!  He probably needs those tools!  LOL

[mimim]

I'm suspicious that he left the tools behind on purpose as an excuse to see you again. The conversation you describe makes it sound like he was interested. Yippee!

[GranoLLLy-girl]

That sounds hopeful!  I will have to do the right thing and get those tools back to him...so far, I haven't had the guts to call him.  I wonder how badly he needs those things?  Better make that call soon!  :(

If nothing else:  I have been inspired to start watching myself in the area of food and exercise.  I was a marathon runner for years...and have let myself go.  This is good incentive.  :)

[doubledutch]

i kinda think you should call him asap and let him know he left the tools.    the longer you wait, the weirder it gets?

[PenelopeJune]

He totally left those tools on purpose. :)

Either way, yes, you need to call and let him know he left them, whether or not you ask him out.

[NolaRiordan]

Yes, I would definitely call. Maybe suggest a good time when you'd be home and he could come get them (when the kids aren't around) and then offer him a cup of coffee or a drink?

[doubledutch]

Originally Posted by NolaRiordan 

Yes, I would definitely call. Maybe suggest a good time when you'd be home and he could come get them (when the kids aren't around) and then offer him a cup of coffee or a drink?

bom-chicka-wah-wah.

[sparklefairy]

Originally Posted by doubledutch 

bom-chicka-wah-wah.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

lol
 

Originally Posted by doubledutch 

bom-chicka-wah-wah.

[NolaRiordan]

And then when he gets there you can say last you saw the tools they were in your bedroom and perhaps he could follow you there and you could show him .......

[mimim]

And while you are walking toward the bedroom, you can tell him about how your neck is sore because you slept funny and maybe he could rub it for you...

[doubledutch]

hmm, sounds like we should write a smut book.

[RollerCoasterMama]

LOL!

[NolaRiordan]

And you just happen to have some oil which may be helpful for him in rubbing your neck. And when you open the bottle it spills on his pants. You apologize profusely and offer to launder the pants for him .....

[mimim]

And so he reaches down and unbuckles his belt and slides his pants off. You suggest that he sit on the bed while he waits for you to take care of the stain and when he does so you notice that some oil has soaked through the pants and has transformed his muscular thighs into a glistening beacon beckoning to you enticingly...

[mimim]

(Please let me know if this is going too far, so I can edit or stfu if needed. I don't want to offend anyone, but this thread is totally cracking me up.)

[NolaRiordan]

Originally Posted by mimim 

And so he reaches down and unbuckles his belt and slides his pants off. You suggest that he sit on the bed while he waits for you to take care of the stain and when he does so you notice that some oil has soaked through the pants and has transformed his muscular thighs into a glistening beacon beckoning to you enticingly...

LOL! Love that last phrase.

I'm loving this thread too. In my case I am so hard up, this kind of thing is a good outlet