Spinoff-- What was harder? The jump from 1-2 kids or 2-3 kids?

[LadyCatherine185]

Just curious what others' experience was adding a 3rd child to their family. DS1 is almost 3 yo and DS2 is 7 mo... We would love to have a 3rd, and I really do want my kids closely spaced (around 2 years apart) but going from 1-2 kids has been REALLY hard. It is finally starting to get easier, I am feeling like I can handle things most days.... But DS1 still does not STTN, and DS2 is up every hour+ just about every night, and they've both been reflux/colicky/food allergic babies.... DH is thinking he wants us to be done with these two, but I would love to have one more. I feel like the older DS2 gets, the easier it will be (and it already has gotten MUCH easier in the last couple months) and that we would be able to handle 3.... A lot of moms I know with 3+ have said their 3rd baby was their most laid-back and easiest addition compared to going from 0-1 or 1-2..... What has been your experience?

[teeg1973]

Well...I only have two, so I can't quite say what a third would add to the mix, but I think so much has to do with the temperment of the child and your other children and perhaps a bit to do with the spacing.  Going from 1-2 has been totally easy for us, but DD1 was pretty high needs and DD2 has been totally laid back (although in the past week she has been a bit difficult in all areas, but I am blaming it on teething and hope all returns back to normal soon!).  There is also more than 4 years between my two so the eldest helps out a lot and can self entertain, not to mention she is in preschool 5 mornings a week.  I would totally add a 3rd to our mix if I was able!

I am sure the adjustment is different for everyone!

Tracy

[love4bob]

Mine was 2-3, but I think that age gap has a lot to do with it. Mine are all close together(19 months between 1-2, 15 months between 2-3). It was much harder with the smaller gap even though it's a small difference. Part of it is also that for the past year I have been doing it all on my own because my DH was deployed. My oldest is 4 and youngest is 16 months, so it's hard to meet everyones needs all by myself. It's also hard not having enough hands for every kid. This is more an issue when they are little though.

[LadyCatherine185]

yes I agree with you.. a lot has to do with the spacing, temperment, etc.... It seems like we have had very different experiences adding #2.. ;)... DS1 had just turned 2, DS2 was colicky and highneeds as a young baby... and neither one of them sleep. ;)
 

Originally Posted by teeg1973 

Well...I only have two, so I can't quite say what a third would add to the mix, but I think so much has to do with the temperment of the child and your other children and perhaps a bit to do with the spacing.  Going from 1-2 has been totally easy for us, but DD1 was pretty high needs and DD2 has been totally laid back (although in the past week she has been a bit difficult in all areas, but I am blaming it on teething and hope all returns back to normal soon!).  There is also more than 4 years between my two so the eldest helps out a lot and can self entertain, not to mention she is in preschool 5 mornings a week.  I would totally add a 3rd to our mix if I was able!

I am sure the adjustment is different for everyone!

Tracy

[Monkey Keeper]

Adding my 2nd was infinitely more difficult even than the transition from 0-1. My first was a dream baby, STTN immediately, followed every textbook for sleeping, eating, milestones. She was sunny and easy and VOILA! I end up pregnant when she's 9m old. Shocker. It's the old bait-and-switch. Because man, is DD2 a handful! From the time she was in utero, she's been willful and challenging. She also sleeps like crap and had me on a milk/soy/nut/egg elimination diet for most of her first year. I was hungry, exhausted, and just plain worn out. I couldn't even think about getting pregnant again until she was *at least* two.

I got pregnant again (concertedly trying) when she was a month shy of two; baby was born when she was 2y8m. He is possibly more easy going and sweet than my first! He has just blended in, content to be along for the ride. He naps wherever, whenever and just hangs out in the sling or on a blanket or in arms. 

So for me, based on my kids' temperaments, adding a 3rd has been a breeze!

[MrsBone]

Well, I don't have a 3rd, I just had my 2nd and I was scared to death of that transition, but DS was a difficult, colicky, food sensitive baby, didn't STTN until he weaned at 20 months, and DD at 6 weeks has been the complete opposite, easy peasy. So, I can imagine that it really depends on the temperament of the 3rd child and the temperament of your current children. There's no way to know what you're going to get!

[Peony]

1-2 was much harder for me. 2-3 wasn't that big of a deal, my 3rd was a mellow baby and my oldest was 6 by the time he was born. She was a HUGE help. The 3rd child didn't stay mellow forever and life actually got more difficult when he was a toddler then when he was a newborn, I really did have 3 children in all different directions then. 

[CookAMH]

The one aspect of 2-3 being easier than 1-2 is the two older children can hopefully play together while you're feeding the new baby. But I'm not there yet, just had #2 a couple months ago.

[Llyra]

Hardest is going directly from 1 to 3. That was hard.

[MJB]

I say 1-2, but there were only 3 years between my first two and 4.5 between my second and third. 

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Llyra 

Hardest is going directly from 1 to 3. That was hard.


 

I could not imagine!