How should a five year old treat another five year old? - Page 2

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by serenbat 

The OP and her Dh seem to be very astute and handling the situation appropriately given what she wrote (comes across as very compassionate given the circumstances)

-it seems to rude to make this something it's not and bashing the OP and her DH -IMO

This is obviously a lost cause and we have extremely different ideas about what is compassionate and what is rude.

[NiteNicole]

Originally Posted by verde 

Here's the story. My 5 y/o DD has a friend, a 5 y/o boy who lives in the neighborhood, A few days ago DH, DD and I all rode our bikes together so she could go to his house to play. DD had made some drawings for him as a gift. When we all arrived at his house she gave him the drawings saying, "I made these for you."  He looked at them, threw them on the ground and said, "I don't want them."  His mother looked surprised and said, "That's not nice, she made those for you." He just shrugged and walked away. 

DD looked hurt, put them back in her bike basket and then friend invited her to the swing set. Soon they were laughing and playing.

I don't know what to think. I felt sorry for DD. DH think he's a nasty little boy. I don't know if that's too harsh of a conclusion or not. Is he typical? Age-appropriate? Nasty? 

I really don't want to dislike a 5 y/o but at the moment I don't feel particularly warm towards him. 

My daughter is five and she knows if someone gives you a gift, even something you don't particularly want, you just say thank you.  She also knows that sometimes you give people gifts and they just don't get how special it is to you - it's not that your gift isn't nice, it's that the other person just doesn't get it.  Rocks are the most special thing in the world as far as she's concerned and she loves making "art" (crap glued to other crap).  We've had plenty of conversations about how we think something is special because we know how much work she put into it, but other people can be awkward about receiving these gifts.  She's starting to get it.

Maybe he IS a nasty little boy.  From your posts, I see he's difficult in a lot of areas.  Some kids are just mean (and I know plenty of people are going to say five year olds are just in phases and can't be mean, but until you run up against one and then watch them grow up into a mean adult, you just don't get it).  Some kids are mostly nice but kind of impulsive.  Some kids are sweet but have poor social skills and come across as rude.  This one is plenty old enough to know not to be snotty about getting a gift but it sounds like his parents ARE working on it.  Who knows. 

Also, being an adult doesn't mean you have to like every kid.  There are plenty of people who I just don't like, some of them are children.  As long as I am basically kind and polite to them, I'm fine with that.  I'm sure not everyone likes me either.

[verde]

Some clarifications.

My DH has never called the boy nasty. My DH has always treated him nicely, warmly and calmly and still does. He also watches the boy closely when he's over at the house. 

I have always treated the boys nicely as well. DH and I are friends with boy's parents and have no wish to stop being friends; we would not do something that would upset the parents. 

I am surprised you were more worried about a child making an abrupt comment than you were over him being randomly violent.

It's not really an issue of being more or less worried about this or that action. As I stated in my original post, I wanted a reality check.  It was a bit of a shock when DD gives little boy a gift and little boy throws it on the ground and says I don't want it. I can't really say if he felt unsure how to act as some posters have suggested. I do know that he did it immediately, with no hesitation and did so right in front of DD, DH, me and boy's mother. So it was a specific moment that really rubbed us the wrong way. As I also stated, boy's mother did address it and she is aware of his behavior so I have no problem with her response. 

Is DH being overly harsh? If he is it's all in his head and not in his actions. 

This boy is still friends with DD and they still play together. We will handle the situations as they arise.