...I have no idea what he does but even after a bath, he is filthy. He eats and his food is in his hair, on his shirt and pants, all over his entire face, every single time he eats, snacks and meals... His hair is also that long kind that tangles no matter what you do and sticks straight up. Yep, he is hopeless.
LOL... this is me! My mother used to say about me, "I can dress her up, but I can't take her anywhere. Hell, I can't even dress her up." And it was true; still is. The minute I put on nice clothes to go somewhere, you can guarantee that I'll spill coffee on my blouse, or brush up against a dirty car and leave a smear of filth across my skirt, or scuff my shoes tripping down the stairs, or tear a sleeve on the doorframe, or something. It's useless trying to keep me neat and tidy. It isn't that I don't value cleanliness or tidiness or a basically decent appearance for myself or my children... it's that I find it to be an absolutely impossible goal!
My DD takes after me; she always has food in her hair or something crusted on her mouth. I try to keep her wiped off when we're in public -- I always have a Ziploc bag of wet washcloths with me, which helps -- but otherwise she's a lost cause.
DH is mystified by us both, because he is unbelievably clean. I have seen that man climb into a muddy creek, pull out a 12-foot-long piece of rusty metal, haul it half a mile, then come home without a speck of dirt on him.