Dh has wavered from being unsupportive to being outright hostile to all the financial changes I've made over the last couple of years. He showed little interest in paying off debt and fought me like crazy when I started working again. These things were so important to me I somehow managed to push through anyway and have paid off all of our 20k+ debt. We still have a ways to go on some medical bills and the cars. Anyway, we had a talk a couple of months ago where he pretty much told me that I've made life miserable for him and that things really needed to change.
Okay, I got it. It's a marriage. A lot of our debt was gone. I needed to compromise. And so I really loosened up on the money focus. I even stopped tracking our cash spending. I put my focus into other things like researching homeschool curriculum and losing weight (35lbs so far .. yay!).
Well, dh starts playing around with this computer program he has and one of the things in it was a financial planner and budget keeper type thing. And what do you think he does? He starts a new budget and wants to keep track of every penny and is driving me crazy with it. I mean really harassing me about spending anything. I'm not going out and spending like a drunken sailor but we have eaten out a little bit and I bought some new clothes (at consignment mind you) since the ones I've been wearing are literally falling off of me ... AND this is EXACTLY what he wanted ... to live a little bit and not worry and cry and stress over every purchase.
I mean I guess I should be happy now that he's onboard with savings & frugality and such but it's just so frustrating that we've seen the positives of our opposing viewpoints of the last couple of years and instead of meeting in the middle we just kind of switched sides. He's understanding the value of things and I'm understanding that we really haven't been "living" all this time. I just feel like no matter what I do we are never on the same page.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Maybe this is more of a marital problem than a financial one. I don't know. Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated.