Difficulty Nursing my beautiful 6 day old son..need support and advice

[aynekal]

Hi Ladies.  On June 15, 2011 at 5:58pm after 2 hours and 19 minutes of labor my beautiful baby boy Aden Kingh was born.  I couldn't believe he came so quickly and I was even more amazed that I delivered him drug free without killing anyone!

Now that he is 6 days old we are having some challenges nursing him.  From day 1 he latched great and I let him nurse as often as he wanted.  By the beginning of day 3 my milk was in and he nursed perfectly.  On day 4 my mom, his nana came to down to help hubs and I out with him and our 5 yo DD.  DS nursed frequently often falling asleep on my breast/chest and very rarely laying down on his own, therefore he would only sleep in hour increments and would wake if I woke, etc... My mom felt he was "too fussy" and we should use a "soothie pacifier".  I succumbed and I hate I did because now he isn't nursing.  As a result he has lost almost 2lbs and the doctor has informed us that we will have to supplement with formula.  I am devastated!! 

So, the doc put us on the following plan: 30 to 60 cc's of formula or breast milk, then latching to the breast for as long as he likes after "birping" from the supplemented breast milk or formula. So we followed the doctors orders, purchased a pump and the adiri bottle.  Things were going well, but now I guess he has realized that he doesn't have to "work" for the bottle like he does my breast and he refuses to latch on.  I have tried expressing directly into his mouth, rubbing expressed milk around my nipple, constant skin to skin contact and letting him migrate to my breast but now nothing seems to work.  I hate to hear him cry and I know that through crying and being so upset that he is losing more weight which is just devastating.  I have tried remaining calm but last night, I just LOST it.  I was crying and I had to walk away because I couldn't bear the fact that he would rather bottle feed with my hubs than nurse with me. 

I just wondered did anyone have any issues similar to mine?  Does it get better?  Will he eventually re-latch???

[Llyra]

I'm going to move this out to the main forum, as per the forum guidelines.

OP, what you're describing is a situation that is unfortunately very common. I think you'll get more support and answers out on the main forum, which is more active. I wish you the best of luck in your situation. And congratulations on baby's birth!

[greenmulberry]

I had kind of a similar issue from nipple confusion after getting sugar water and syringe feeds of formula in the hospital when i was too loopy from my c section to protest.

What we did was take a small oral syringe of a few ml of pumped milk, I would try and latch her on, and quickly my husband would take the syringe and dribble the milk into her mouth (with my nip in her mouth too). She would taste the milk and start sucking and latch on.

We also put a stop to ANYTHING but my nipple in her mouth. She did have trouble with weight gain while we overcame this, but she is now fat and happy at 4 months. It really only took a few days of being strict, nothing but my nip in her mouth and DH helping her by dribbling the pumped milk in her mouth, before she caught on and nursed with gusto.

[Fynns Mommy]

I'm so sorry to hear about this problem. It makes me sad. I know the doctor told you to supplement with formula, but I would highly suggest to stop giving any artificial nipples. That's only going to make the nipple confusion worse. From the sound of it, if you keep giving him bottles, he's likely to continue to refuse to nurse until it's too late. I've seen that happen with people I know and it's always sad. I like the PP's syringe idea. Just some way to get breastmilk and/or formula into him without a fake nipple. A hungry baby will eat somehow, even if it takes a while and is heartbreaking. He doesnt want to have to work harder at the breast to get the milk, but he will if he has to. It's not too late. Make sure to help stimulate the let down so he doesnt have to work as hard. Massage your breasts toward the nipple with a warm wet washcloth before nursing. The LC I saw when my son was a few days old had me do that and it helped a lot.

And of course, NO pacifiers! Even soothies, until at least 3 weeks old! But with this issue I'd say wait even longer before giving him another pacifier. That's what started this issue, right? Dont feel too bad though, yeah you should not have given him the soothie to begin with, but you have a brand new baby, are tired and sleep-deprived and you were pressured by someone else at a vulnerable time.

[greenmulberry]

Also, one thing that it took me a while to realize, is my daughter latched on much more readily if I rubbed my nipple to make it rigid first.

It was much more easy to push the nipple into her mouth that way, and touch the roof of her mouth which helps trigger a latch.

Good luck, spend a lot of one on one time with your son, be patient, and try and stay relaxed.

[Marissamom]

the other thing is to not wait until he's crying from hunger to feed him. pop your nipple into his mouth whenever he's awake, as soon as he's awake. babies are much more willing to work at it when they're only a little hungry.

[PatioGardener]

nak can't write much now, just want to make sure that you are pumping to keep up your supply. If you can transition back to your milk from formula it will help matters as baby will want to nurse more often.

Have you seen an IBCLC? Called LLL? I recommend both - you can do this, and hands on knowledgeable people to help will make it much easier.

I am so sorry that your breastfeeding relationship has been sabotaged by a health care professional. I hope that you can get professional help to get it back on line asap!

[goodygumdrops]

  I agree with PatioGardener as usual!!!

[ElliesMomma]

OK, your baby is SIX days old. you can overcome this!! first off, stop letting your mom make any decisions about nursing your child. as others have said, no more artificial nipples of any kind. put your mom to work taking care of your 5 year old so that you can spend LOTS of time IN BED with your six day old, be topless, and just nurse, nurse, nurse. if your newborn baby has unfettered access to as much mama milk as he can possibly take in, he will take it, and in large quantity.

and don't forget to keep up your supply -- eat lots of oatmeal. eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner for awhile. your supply will grow, and so will your baby.

your baby is six days old. it is SO EARLY. 

i disagree with your doctor who said to give formula before nursing. you should always nurse BEFORE supplementing. that is, if you wish to continue nursing. doctors notoriously don't get that. 

six days old is not the time to panic about weight gain. and if you boost your supply with ginormous portions of oatmeal, and you spend oodles of time relaxing/sleeping/nursing in bed around the clock for several whole days -- taking generous advantage of your mother's visit by letting her spoil the 5 year old so you can do a "nursing vacation," your nursing problems should be easily overcome.

post an update!

[aynekal]

Thank you ladies!  I really appreciate the feedback!!! I spoke with my mommy and DH, not to get their approval (although DH is supportive of pitching all artificial nipples and just making baby go cold turkey to the breast!!) but to ensure we are on the same page.  We are going to spend the remainder of the week on a "nursing vacation" as suggested.  Baby and I will keep constant skin-to-skin contact and attempt BF throughout the day.  I will continue to pump to ensure that I have an adequate milk supply as I am able to pump about 1.5 to 2 oz, this should reduce the need to supplement with formula. Hopefully, my LO will get back to the breast soon.  I am just going to stay calm and positive and trust that this will work.  I will keep you updated on our progress!

[greenmulberry]

Oh good I was hoping you would reply again.

Good luck and I am sure you will do fine.

[aynekal]

We are NURSING!!! I am so happy.  We were able to meet with a LC and she was able to get him latched and it has been smooth sailing ever since.  He is gaining weight and doing really well.  Thanks so much for all of the support, advice, and suggestions!!!! I LOVE MDC!!!!

[ElliesMomma]

good news!

[~Adorkable~]

aynekal, huge hugs, i know exactly how stressful what you just went through was, i have been living it for months. it is a struggle everyday and i just almost started to cry when i read the first post, im soo glad you and your baby have turned a corner and got things worked out.

Im in DC as well, im a army wife, if you ever need another military mom friend with babies, let me know

[Fynns Mommy]

Yay! I'm so glad to hear that you're nursing! Thanks for updating us!