Gender disappointment...

[xzaviers_mama]

Okay... first off, I want to beg you all to please not flame me for this.  I feel horrible for feeling how I do, and I want to hear from other mamas that it will go away...

I have 3 little boys, ages 7, 3 and 22 months.  I also miscarried a little boy in 2007.  I had an ultrasound last Friday, and I found out this is another boy.  Boy #5.  I felt like my heart sank.  DH does not want anymore after this baby, and I feel so let down that I will never experience a mother/daughter relationship.  I never had a great relationship with my own mother... She had me at 15, and my grandma raised me until I was 7.  By the time my mom remarried, and decided she was ready to parent me, I didn't even feel like I knew her.  That made for an odd relationship the whole time I was growing up with her... I wanted to experience a good, healthy bond with my own daughter some day... and I feel so shorted that it will never happen.

I keep telling myself to just be grateful that this baby is healthy, and of course I am!  I know that once he's here, it isn't like I'm going to love him any less because he has a penis...  I just feel... robbed.  And then I feel horribly guilty for feeling the way I do.  Like, I'm sending negative vibes to this poor unborn baby...

*sigh*

I just want it to stop.  I want to be excited about my pregnancy... 

[AfricanQueen99]

No flames here. Mama. I literally cried when I had my ultrasound with my son...seeing that penis on the screen was not good news to me. It wasn't until I physically met him that I felt a connection.

[xzaviers_mama]

Originally Posted by AfricanQueen99 

No flames here. Mama. I literally cried when I had my ultrasound with my son...seeing that penis on the screen was not good news to me. It wasn't until I physically met him that I felt a connection.

That's how I feel like I'm going to be.  I don't feel "connected" to this pregnancy at all... even more, now that I know it's another boy.  I know that once he's here, I won't be able to imagine him being anyone else (just like it is with all my other boys)... but getting to that point feels like it's going to be rough.  

I've had my fill of action figures, trucks, tools... and clothes with little sports pictures on them.  I wanted big ridiculous bows, ruffles, tights and tea parties.    

ETA:  I'm well aware that boys can have tea parties...lol.  My boys have baby dolls, and enjoy playing with them... but it's different!

[Mulvah]

People have posted similar things in the past and I mention that just to tell you - it is normal!  You may want to check out this board because the entire board is dedicated to the very feeling you have.  There are obviously degrees of it, but I think it's very normal.  I hope you will get to a place where you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your new baby boy. 

[xzaviers_mama]

Originally Posted by Mulvah 

People have posted similar things in the past and I mention that just to tell you - it is normal!  You may want to check out this board because the entire board is dedicated to the very feeling you have.  There are obviously degrees of it, but I think it's very normal.  I hope you will get to a place where you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your new baby boy. 

Thank you for that link!  Seems like most of those women have several boys.  What is it with boys coming in packs...?  lol
 

[LadyCatherine185]

((hugs)) mama, i know the feeling. I have 2 boys, and I have ALWAYS wanted a baby girl. I love my boys more than anything, but I REALLY want a daughter. I was disappointed both times we had our US's for our sons. We are not done having babies yet, though.. but I have a feeling I will be in the same boat as you with all boys. I don't plan to find out the gender next time, though.. hoping that once baby is HERE and even if i have another boy i will not experience those feelings again..