Originally Posted by meetoo
I think what tends to happen is more of a case that homeschooling stops working for a family yet they are still doing it. Not that homeschooling never worked for that family. It could easily happen to anyone.
yeah, that happened to us.
My kids homeschooled until they were 10 and 12. We had a year when one attended public school and one homeschooled. Then a year when they both attended public school. Now they both attend an amazing private alternative school.
I'm still fuzzy on exactly when it started going bad and what I would do differently if I could.
Homeschooling was great when they were little. We had a lot of fun, did FIAR, went on fun field trips etc. And then we reached a point where it was horriable -- my of my DDs wasn't really progressing the way she should have been, both my kids were isolated, and I was SUPER burned out. We should have stopped before we did, but even now I'm not sure exactly when. I ended up feeling like a failure, like a bad mom. And when I left the homeschooling community, I also lost friends. It's like leaving a religion.
Then we also went through the difficult process of sorting out exactly what was going on with my DD, who is turns out has Asperger's. That took about a year.
Homeschooling can mask special needs. Even if you are a wonderful, involved mother who should know better. Relaxed and unschooling moms repeatedly tell other moms not to worry and that everything will be ok when they don't have any way of knowing if that is true for a specific child.
I feel really ashamed that I didn't figure out what was going on with my DD sooner, and I regret listening to the rhetoric in the homeschooling community.
Also, here are a few observations that I'm sure would get blasted on the homeschool board:
1. Homeschooling is often seen as "mom's thing" while school is often seen as the kid's thing, so daddy's are *often* more involved in school than in homeschooling. They look at the work, go to programs at school, etc.
2. It's much easier for mom to meet her own needs if the kids are in school. It's like taboo to say this on mothering, but you can only give for 24/7 for so many years. Eventually, you need to take care of yourself or you fall apart. I saw several homeschool moms come down with chronic debilitating illnesses, and I wondered if that is what their bodies HAD to do to get a break. Overall, the moms I've met since putting my kids are school are more balanced people. I kinda feel like the whole homeschooling community rest on the myth that mom really can do everything if she is dedicated enough.
(And oddly, school moms were more accepting of doing what is right for each kid. The year I had one homeschooling and one in school was weird, weird, weird. Homeschoolers were nasty about it, school moms really didn't care. They just assumed I was doing what was right for each child. )
3. Some kids do better with the energy of a group environment. They work harder when they can see what their peers are doing.
4. Some kids do better with a teacher other than mom. They are more focused and take things more seriously.
5. Some kids have to WORK to learn things. It's a lovely story that they don't have to, and it gets repeated by the parents whose kids never really had to work, but it isn't true for all kids.