Originally Posted by DariusMom
Amen! No one ever accuses dads of "not raising their kids" because they're off working. Why is it we get the "I want to raise my own kids" thing only for moms?
It's offensive and perpetuates the very mommy wars this thread was decrying.
I have heard that said about dads who are uninvolved, actually. Not simply because they're working at all, but when they work long hours/have weeks-long business trips, or go out doing leisure activities sans kids atop crazy work schedules. But you're right, 98% of that complaint falls on moms.
Anyway, I've worked, I've SAH. We eat some junk food and fast food, but we're also vegetarian. I had one kid with horrible childhood cavities and one without (the better teeth kid was born later and ate probably more junk food, actually. He didn't snack all day long, nurse all night long, and has different teeth structure though). I did delayed vaxes. I cloth diapered one her whole diapering life and one about half (he peed through everything I could put together, and with hospital/deaths in the extended family, it was too chaotic for me to continue trying to find a cloth solution). I left them for work with babysitters, at ages some people think are horrible (4 months)... and then overnight with relatives at ages some people think are way too long (3 years)... I yell, though I try not to. I negotiate sometimes but am more disciplinarian than most I see here. And yet, among my in laws, I get the attitude that I am too soft because I don't spank nor CIO. I don't circ. I do some pressured sports in a serious, structured way. I homeschool in a relaxed but structured fashion, and I expect excellent test scores and work.
I am fairly confident in the choices I've made. I don't allow CIO in my home nor stay with people doing CIO. I don't particularly care if they do it, as that doesn't actually affect me or my kids. I don't care if they circ. I don't care if they cloth diaper. I don't care if they do pretty much anything with their own kids unless it directly affects my own. Otherwise, do what you want. I happen to think that what I'm doing is the best for my kids, or at least the best that I can do, but not only do I not have anyone else's kids, but I am not them with their own temperament and quirks.