do you think this is not very "unschooly"?

[aussiemumma]

Hi

I am a WAHM to DD (4.5) and DS (1.75) and we are unschooling and very happy with our decision.

The thing is, we have no help or family around and I was thinking about hiring a nanny/babysitter for 4-5 hours every week. 

I am feeling guilty as anything, but it would help me get some work done uninterrupted (we have our own business and it's expanding so we hav eto work more at night at the minute) and a bit of time for me to do personal jobs like the odd haircut/ dentist for me.

So what do you think?

Slack or ok?

thanks

C

[AllyRae]

I'm not a big fan of labels...if something works for you, it shouldn't matter what it's called. :)  That, and you have two very young children...I would think that when your child's not even kindergarten age, the situation you described isn't slacking...it's parenting.  I don't see how having a babysitter impacts the type of schooling you're doing, especially since you only have an infant and a preschooler.  If you have a babysitter 5 hours a week, you still have another 163 hours every week with her to teach her how you'd like to, regardless of labels. :)

(And many homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers, and private schoolers use babysitters for a few hours a week...you can still educate your child how you see fit and have a little outside help).

[aussiemumma]

thanks for replying.

I agree, we are trying not to label ourselves as that's where the limitations come in. But I suppose I have been feeling rather guilty that I am putting myself first, perhaps... I don't know...LOL

C

[Cyllya]

I'm all for labels, but I don't see anything un-unschooly about that.

[AllyRae]

You're not putting yourself first.  Any homeschooler....any parent of toddlers...any PARENT needs some time off.  I hardly think 5 hours of nanny care a week so you can earn money to put food on the table is 'putting yourself first'.  IMO, you're not feeling guilty about the 'lack of unschooling" (because honestly, you didn't mention anything about unschooling beyond the title...for all we know, you are doing 50 hours a week of unschooling with 5 hours of nanny care on top.)  It seems to me that you're feeling guilty about actually getting help.  And about letting someone else care for your kids for 5 hours a week.  I gotta say, 5 hours a week is so minimal.  It's the equivalent of going to the gym a few times a week and using the in gym daycare...would that be guilt inducing selfish?  Would it negate any schooling choice you made?  Of course not!

Originally Posted by aussiemumma 

thanks for replying.

I agree, we are trying not to label ourselves as that's where the limitations come in. But I suppose I have been feeling rather guilty that I am putting myself first, perhaps... I don't know...LOL

C

[aussiemumma]

Hi thanks again for replying.

I think I am at that naive, early beginner stage of life/unschooling/learning and because we have chosen this path I feel responsible for my children at all times. 

I believe that unschooling will challenge me and help us all grow in the most amazing ways and it has already started by making go beyond my comfort zone and understand that my children can learn from everyone. Having a nanny will be another level for them, another perspective on their worlds, someone else to shape their ideals and knowledge base.

Perhaps I have been too rigid, LOL, and I know that will soon change. So by posting my own little personal situation here I appreciate the chance to grow and try and understand the value in what we have chosen.

This forum is great. 

from an appreciative newby...

C x

[Piglet68]

ITA with AllyRae. I had a mother's helper for my kids when they were little. Your children spend so much time with you! 4 - 5 hrs a week is nothing and I bet they'll have a blast! My kids are always happy to be with someone whose "job" is to play with them! :-)

[SundayCrepes]

I see unschooling as a spectrum. There are some radical unschooling families I know that make choices that pop my eyes out. I'm sure they think the same of some of my choices. All of us are just doing the best we can.

Oh my gosh, 5 hours of child-free time a week...I could fold laundry more than once every couple weeks. I could go to 3 grocery stores in 90 minutes and not have to buckle/unbuckle carseats. I could pick up the Oasis laundry soap (it breaks down into plant food) that I special ordered and not have it take 45 minutes. I could get out the front door without having to sit my 2 year old in front of youtube (she likes Glee songs) so I can brush her hair without holding her down and I could get out the door without having to chase previously mentioned 2 year old around house to grab her so I can get her underwear on her. I could...I better stop, all this fantasizing is making me jealous.

[yaboobarb]

As an unschooling mom, I would have a sitter 5 hours a day if I could!  :)

[Dar]

I don't see how unschooling (in any form) has anything to do with whether or not you use childcare. To me the two are entirely unrelated. Especially as a WAHM, I would think some sort of childcare would be necessary for you, sooner or later... and my daughter really liked a lot of the childcare arrangements we came up with for her, from teen homeschooler babysitters to moms of her friends...

[rightkindofme]

Yeah... That kind of pressure on yourself isn't for the good. You do need to put yourself first sometimes. That is how we teach our kids about life balance. I hope you can feel ok about getting help. I get lots.

[kathymuggle]

Do it!

[aussiemumma]

LOL
Thanks everyone.

The nanny is booked for Friday. Woohoo!

C