Self Soothing

[Twins1202]

I have 6 1/2 month old Boy Girl Twins. They are SUCH a Blessing!!! Life can most defintely be hetick at times also.  My little girl, will go right to sleep when she is sleepy (with her wubanub aka binky). No problem. My little guy will not, he has to be rocked or bounced and he fights and fights sleep so bad. Ive tried to start breaking this and try puttin him down and not giving in....last night he cried and wined for a hour and I finally couldn't take it anymore. It's hard letting him fuss b/c he ends up waking up his sister.

Its hard tending to my daughter when I can't put him down....ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO GET HIM TO GO TO SLEEP ON HIS OWN BETTER???!!!

Thanks!

[dejagerw]

Just give him what he needs to fall asleep. If he needs rocking, then rock him. Consider yourself lucky that you got one baby that self soothes. DS1 for me was never a self soother. However, DS2 is so much easier. Babies are just born with different temperments. He'll get better at sleeping eventually. Babies are little only for such a short period of time. You don't need to "break him". He's not an animal, but a sweet little baby. He's not trying to be difficult, he just needs help to wind down and fall asleep. So I guess my suggestion for getting him to sleep better on his own is just wait longer. He'll get better as he gets older naturally. You can't spoil a baby with love and attention.

[Twins1202]

Im well aware that my child is not "an animal" thank you! This has nothing to do with not wanting to get him love and attention!!

[Bokonon]

Please don't let him cry alone.  It is entirely developmentally appropriate that he needs comfort and assistance to sleep and stay asleep.  My daughter is 26 months and I still cuddle her to help her fall asleep.  My son was an earlier "self-soother", and started falling asleep on his own around 11 months.

Your baby's cries are his only communication.  When you ignore those cries, you are sending him a very negative message.

You will not find any cry-it-out advice on this site.

[Greenlea]

Well how does bedtime begin?  Does he get a bottle right before bed / or nuse right before bed?  With my 1st son we'd hold him and rock him while giving him a bottle and he'd fall asleep eating it.  With my 2nd son I nurse him right before bed, sometimes he falls asleep, sometimes he doesn't.  When he doesn't fall asleep I put him in his crib and give him his binky.  He will usually cry but I leave for about 3-5 minutes (truth be told I never make it to 5 minutes though).  Then I go back in and give him his binky back, pat his butt, sing to him - but I don't pick him up.  I may have to go back in there a few times or more, but he eventually falls asleep on his own.  I started doing this at around 7 mths & he's almost 8 mths now.

You don't need to break him of this, but you do need to teach him to self soothe if thats what you feel is needed.  Babies don't always learn that on their own.  Letting him cry by himself will not teach him to self soothe, it will only teach him that his mama is not there when he needs her.  At that age I wouldn't just let him cry and cry himself to bed, but I understand you not wanting to spend hours trying to get him go to bed.  Sometimes when my DS fights sleep I lay with him and hold him really tight, other times I put him in his car carrier as he will fall right asleep then.

[Twins1202]

He gets a bottle usually right before bed time. He gave up his pacifier at about 3 months ago so that isn't an option.  I never leave him there to just scream the entire time. I rub his back or sing to him. I just dont pick him up.  The rocking part wouldn't be so bad but for me he usually only wants to stand and be bounced. My back just breaks trying to do this for sometimes up to 20 or 30 minutes at a time. He will only let the rocking soothe him some of the times. He is just a sleep fighter bottom line.

[Asiago]

Sitting on a ball and bouncing him would likely be easier and still give him the same effect. My son needed motion and nursing until 13-14 months to fall asleep. Even now at 19 months he still needs it sometimes along with nursing. You could also put him in a sling or carrrier and wear him for his naps. My son did really well with that. It may be worth a try, seems like it may work for your boy.

[Ola_]

My DD also likes to be walked around to sleep.  What I have found that helps to minimize this (it's murder on my back!):

- wait till she is ready to sleep and shows signs of tiredness, otherwise we can walk and walk and she won't sleep anyway

- start off walking her around and after a little while switch to rocking in the chair (just rocking from the start makes her fussy)

- while I rock I bounce her a bit at the beginning and also pat her back till she falls asleep

- she prefers to be upright against my shoulder rather than cradled to fall asleep

- make sure she gets sufficient naps during the day otherwise she is overtired and fusses more about going to sleep

- rock her in the chair while she's finishing her last before-bed bottle to help her get drowsy and fall asleep once she's done

- as mentioned above putting her in a sling and going for a walk also usually puts her to sleep and is much easier on my back

Also, you can try different pacifiers if you'd like and keep offering them - my daughter only likes certain ones and only sometimes, not every time she falls asleep.  And it's not like I can put it in her mouth and put her down, but when she takes it it does seem to help her nod off faster.  I guess the key for me is just to be flexible and let her tell me what she needs.  Not everyone has an easy time falling asleep, even adults (I do but my DH doesn't at all).

[~Adorkable~]

i totally understand the twins complicating matters, you might think about letting them fall asleep in different areas for right now, maybe moving them if you can after they are sleep good.

have you considered that he needs to be asleep ealeir? the little girl of my twins will start to really fight sleep if she is over tired, and that is hard since i tend to put them down at the same time so one may be more sleepy than the other. but i know am learning that she needs to go down at her perfect time, he is more flexible.