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What are you proud of yourself for? (Thought we needed a "go us" thread!)

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 

It's hard being a single mama! Sometimes we need to be reminded of just how flippin' awesome we really are! What are you proud of yourself or your kiddos for? What's your favorite part of the day? How do you take care of yourself? What are you doing/have you done that makes you a Super Mom? 

 

I'll say I'm proud that I've stayed strong and haven't let manipulation affect me (too much), and I've been able to work from home while taking care of my boy!

 

Looking forward to your responses!

lurk.gif

post #2 of 17

there's a sticky on this board called "what i love about being a single mom" or something - that might be a fun read while you wait for responses!

 

i'm most proud of myself for (mostly) keeping my cool and not letting my ex bother me.  i'm going about my life, and i can't pretend i don't care what he's up to, but i did a really good job of disengaging from his manipulation, his attempts to get back together and attempts to start fights.  (most of the time.)  i haven't done a perfect job of this, but doing it pretty well is a major accomplishment that carries forward into my future relationship and my ability to establish healthier boundaries. 

 

so . . . very similar to what you said!  :)

 

(i'm not proud of the couple of times, right after we split up, that i lost it and yelled/swore/freaked out at him, when i let it get under my skin that he questioned my sanity and my parenting, but a part of me also feels like i just really needed to get that out, even if i immediately apologized.)

post #3 of 17

I'm proud of myself for creating a home for me and my kids that's comfortable and warm and welcoming, and where we can have friends over. It's by no means luxurious but it's a place where we can relax and be together and have fun and be silly.

 

I'm proud of myself for not getting sucked into X's attempts to push my buttons. Took me about 2 years to learn that one. A friend gave me an analogy where you envision that you are surrounded by glass and X is a moth that is trying like heck to get through and just keeps bashing into the glass over and over and over again but he just can't get through. I feel so much stronger now, and he tries and tries but he can not get through to me.

 

I am proud of the relationship I have with  my kids. They feel comfortable talking to me. They tell me things. We treat each other with respect. We don't have to walk around on egg shells.

post #4 of 17

DS and I have a great relationship, which I'm crazy proud of.  

 

And  I gotta say I'm really proud of all the little things I've managed to take care of myself that Ex used to do...like put together toys and furniture, mow the lawn, and get rid of one seriously scary spider and one *huge*, nasty roach.  >>shudder<<

post #5 of 17

I unclogged a really clogged toilet by myself!!! when a few plunges wouldn't do it, I googled "how to unclog a toilet"--with a lot of liquid dish soap and some really hot water, the next plunge worked.

 

i would have normally let XH do the toilet plunging, barf. i'd never done it. and it was poop, too. barf!

but i was pretty proud that I could do that :)

 

 

post #6 of 17

Way to go, mamas! :)

 

I am proud that I still have a strong nursing relationship with my toddler. When things were falling apart, the ex was always pressuring me to cut her off. Without the bonding and self-confidence that it provides, we might not have done as well with this huge adjustment. I've been the type of person to become too wrapped up in a partner to give my own needs enough attention & consideration (which my daughter deserves, but her father didn't, hehe), so it would have made me feel really broken if I had allowed him to take that away from me. I'll admit, there were times (perhaps in the bargaining phase of the path to acceptance) that I would have weaned her if I thought it would have guaranteed we could work it out. But I stayed true to myself and to my daughter and it's his loss for not appreciating that.

post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 

Awesome, mamas!! You're amazing :) 

post #8 of 17

I am proud to be really living the life I always wanted. I think it is an awesome was to show my DS that life is too short not to be yourself and do not let anyone hold you back.

 

I am also proud for jumping into my life with no net. It's been so much fun. I now hike, bike, swim, do yoga, walk, etc...either with my son or on my own. We go to musuems, parks, theaters, etc..the ex thought all of that was stupid and it was stiffling.  It's been great. I am also proud that I will make mistakes, but I am doing my best.

post #9 of 17

I'm proud of myself for all of the same things--I learned how to put up a towel rack by myself.  I've enlisted friends and neighbors to help me with things--and asking for help is a big one for me.  I'm proud that I was able to buy a house and when stuff goes wrong, I don't go insane and think life is over--I just figure out who to call, what needs to be done and I get busy.  There is a lot that we should be proud of--but I try to be humble, too.  I'm looking for more balance in my life.  And I like my life a lot more--not surprising, is it?

:)

post #10 of 17

its been a while...

 

i am proud that i

 

... was able to survive a year and a half of panic attacks at night.

 

... never shed a tear after two years worth of tears trying to make my marriage work (or should i say those kind of painful tears). its been 7 1/2 years of tears

 

... that incredible peace i felt the first night alone just kept getting bigger and bigger no matter what my emotional state was.

 

and i am incredibly grateful that i had a dd to go through that with. i dont know how much i would have come out unscathed if i didnt have dd to care for. 

 

and i am incredibly grateful that dd and i got to live the life we got to live together without having to share that time with another adult. there is no way in hell he would have allowed dd to go to bed at midnight. where would our couple time fit in!!

post #11 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifugous View Post

Way to go, mamas! :)

 

I am proud that I still have a strong nursing relationship with my toddler. When things were falling apart, the ex was always pressuring me to cut her off. Without the bonding and self-confidence that it provides, we might not have done as well with this huge adjustment. I've been the type of person to become too wrapped up in a partner to give my own needs enough attention & consideration (which my daughter deserves, but her father didn't, hehe), so it would have made me feel really broken if I had allowed him to take that away from me. I'll admit, there were times (perhaps in the bargaining phase of the path to acceptance) that I would have weaned her if I thought it would have guaranteed we could work it out. But I stayed true to myself and to my daughter and it's his loss for not appreciating that.


I have also continued nursing despite my ex's wishes - and as far as he's concerned we quit a year ago, which we did, but then started again - and I feel that it was the right choice.

 

I'm proud too, as others have mentioned, of learning to deal with X so much better, I rarely get sucked in by him anymore and when I do, I quickly get out of it again. 

 

I'm proud of having made choices that support me having plenty of time with my son - which for the past year has involved working very minimally and studying towards a flexible career - and which I don't feel I'd have had the confidence to do had I stayed with X. 

 

I'm proud of being more independent and yes, I have also managed to deal with things like spiders that used to send me running for X!

 

post #12 of 17

I am proud that I can find some time to have peace to myself instead of sadness when my 21 mo old goes to her dad's for the weekend.

I am proud that I am starting to find my feet and feel independant and not codependant.

I am proud that I stood up and said "This isn't working for me anymore" and that was REALLY hard to say.

post #13 of 17
This thread makes me think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AIaakO9YDw

Doing it our way! orngbiggrin.gif



I was in grad school and 90% dependent on my exh's income when we separated. I managed to finish my degree and find a job I love and am now 100% financially independent. Feels gooood.
post #14 of 17

I am proud that I LEFT and stayed gone! I always told myself, if I ever left, it would be for good.

 

I am proud that I put together my sons toddler bed all by myself.

 

I am SO PROUD of the little home I've made for my kids. We are happy. My preschooler and I dance around the house half naked, much to the amusement of my more serious little baby.. takes a lot to make him laugh, but that does it!

 

We are eating healthy, limiting processed food.. etc. Ex sent my preschooler literally 10 pounds of candy. I am not joking. I am proud that my little guy told ex on the phone, "Candy is not a healthy choice, it is a treat for SOMETIMES only, and I like peaches better" and he was happy to redistribute the candy to our friends and neighbors.

 

I am very careful not to bad-talk my ex, and said NOTHING about the candy, except that maybe we should share with our friends..

 

 

 

post #15 of 17
Thread Starter 

Go mamas! We're awesome :) I'm proud that I've stuck to my ideals about natural parenting, despite the pressure from family (wouldn't it just be easier to... or TV isn't bad for kids...)

 

Also, that I've separated emotionally from XP and his family; he's already dating and it doesn't bother me at all, which is fabulous! 

 

What else are you proud of yourself for? :)

post #16 of 17

I'm proud of myself for not giving up on our extremely difficult and long custody battle involving domestic violence. I'm proud of all the little steps I've taken to start making my relationship with my 5 year old daughter a little better. Hopefully this is the beginning of healing for both of us. I'm proud of myself for doing yoga every day since the start of the year and also walking the dog every day since then too. My mood is getting a lot better and I'm spending a lot more time just enjoying my daughter than "managing" her (something I do a lot more than I ever thought I would when she was younger). Some days are better than others, but it's been a long time since I was happy and I'm glad to see myself again. I know I can get us back to where we were before all the stress started three years ago and I'm happy to finally see the end of the tunnel.

post #17 of 17

I love these threads. (:

 

I'm proud that I left, too. I was with X 600 miles away from my family, friends, everything I ever knew. I got tired of the abuse, and even though I was pregnant, left his ass. I packed everything I could in my biggest vehicle and went home. The following week I went back down with my brother and got my other car and the rest of my stuff. At the time it was HARD. I cried hysterically for weeks. He tried to get me to stay when I went back down to get the rest of my stuff - he's a master manipulator. It was too late then, sweet pea! My life was moving back to what I knew and loved.

 

I'm proud that even though I tried giving him a second chance, he blew it, and I haven't talked to him in over 4 months. I was tired of broken promises and tired of feeling awful all the time because of him.

 

I'm proud that I got myself a job at 5 months pregnant, rocked it, and made a lot of friends and references.

 

I'm proud that I got myself back in school ASAP - all while pregnant, finished this past semester with a 4.0 GPA (I'm one class away from receiving my certificate that I'll be finishing this semester), passed my 'fast track program' and took my national certifiation test last night(!) and passed! (: (To clarify; I have national certification now, and will have a separate college certification for the other)

 

I'm proud that even though it hurt, it still hurts, and I try to forget..that I can still keep plowing along. I know that it won't be easy, and feeling so timid about guys will take a while to get over..I still try to keep hope that there's a guy out there that'll love my daughter and I without limits, and if he's not out there - we'll still be ok and we'll just do our own thing!

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