Originally Posted by BenimBebek
So, I came out of the non-vax closet about 2 years ago. Its was my dirty secret and it just got to be too much. Plus, I didn't want people to think I was ashamed of my choice. Definitely not. But EVER SINCE my husband and I have found that people who do vax are CONSTANTLY telling us things like this:
"Oh we just took our baby to their first check up and they got all their vaxes."
"Our baby has been screaming non-stop since his vaccines. The doctor said it was normal."
"I just got the typhoid shot and my arm is killing me."
Etc. Etc. Etc. What do they want to hear from us???? How do you guys handle annoying friends like this? Are they trying to ask us WHY we dont vaccinate, just do they can convince themselves of why they should? Or are they really concerned and looking for advice.
My best friend who is almost done pharmacy school keeps getting vaccines and doesnt bother READING about them. She knows how important this issue is for me and I feel like she is taunting me almost with her, "I just got this vaccine and Im having ___ reaction." First it was the flu shot... she got a terrible infection for months afterward (much worse than the flu) and swore she would never get that vax again. Now its the stupid typhoid fever vaccine ("because Im going to Mexico and its recommended, but I said no to the Hep A vaccine, thats a self-limiting illness anyways and doesnt even lead to Hep. I dont know why theres a vaccine for it.") and then she had a reaction where her whole arm is sore and shes complaining to me.
I sent her the link to the package insert, as well as VAERS results showing the risks of the vaccine. Then a link to the FDA stating that VAERS probably only has 1-10% of the actual events being reported to it. Its really hilarious that there is a vaccine. The risks of the vaccine FAR outweigh the minute chance of actually getting typhoid fever. Its just hilarious. And no one bothers looking into this stuff. Its terrifying. I mean, shes going to have an f-ing PharmD soon and she doesn't even know how to look this stuff up IN ADVANCE?
How do you guys handle this? Its incredibly annoying!!! It makes me want to have no friends that vax!! Too bad I dont know anyone who doesnt!!
I'm almost seven years into this, so I've mellowed somewhat. In the beginning, I was all up for debate and discussion about why people (ie. friends, relatives) made the choices they did.
Now, it's basically "to each, her own." I've found that it's just better to say, "I'd rather not discuss this" when asked point blank and I let bait-type comments ("My doctor said it's going to be the worst year ever for flu," "My daughter had a fever for five days after her MMR," etc.) pass without comment.
I even have an online friend who regularly posts things like "anti-vax myths busted with science!" and "why all parents and carers should get a pertussis booster," on her social networking page. I never bite. No, thanks.
Honestly, it depends on how close we are as friends. I have good friends who have made very different choices to what I have--vaxing, circing, you name it. These topics are off-limits because to discuss them would just jeopardize the friendship. On the other hand if they are just acquaintances or family friends etc., I'd have to ask myself why I want to be around them if they keep pestering me about my parenting. It's not my job to educate the world, change peoples' mind, whatever. If someone comes to me in good faith asking for a different perspective and wants to be pointed in the direction of some info, I'll oblige. But if it's just pot-stirring and challenging, well, I have better things to do with my time.
And I also have about three or four friends IRL who do not vax and about a half dozen online buddies as well, so I don't feel frustrated or isolated.