Potty problems

[klandrjmommy]

My daughter turned 3 at the end of March and I have a 5 month old daughter (but have not seen any change in her interest one way or another from when I was pregnant to now having my baby).  My 3 year old refuses to pee or poop on the potty. She is showing all the signs (stays dry at night - sometimes, tells us when she has to pee or poop) but refuses to sit on the potty. We have tried what seems like everything....putting her in panties with her permission but she pees down her leg, telling her she can't go back to school until she is potty trained, which she loves school. We have incentives (favorite movie sitting next to potty to remind her). It is almost like she is doing it for attention when she tells us she has to pee or poop and we try not to make a big deal about it but it seems like she is doing it to get to me (she is a very intelligent little girl). One time she walked over to the potty, hovered over it and said "mommy I am peeing" and peed in her diaper while smiling! I begged her to sit on the potty but she wouldn't. 

She has peed on the potty by accident once b/c she was sitting on it reading a book and started screaming and crying and reached for her diaper as she peed. I got very excited for her and explained to her that was supposed to happen and explained that it was nothing to be scared of (she is a very fearful girl and I think her #1 problem is being scared to relax and release her pee on the potty).

Sorry so long but thought I would explain what all we have tried. My ped says to relax and it will happen but I am finding more and more things that she can't do b/c she's not potty trained and she seems to be motivated by those things and says she will go to the "big girl potty" but when it comes time she says no or changes the subject (again a very smart girl -  almost too smart for her own good).

Thanks to anyone that can normalize or help me out. I really feel like laying off of her won't help b/c I truly feel like she will not do this on her own.....ever! She loves her diapers too much (also have tried less absorbent diapers to make it less comfortable but the girl could care less is she is wet or even if she has poop on her bottom)

[Katie T]

I think it is totally normal for a newly 3yo to not want to potty learn. I have know lots of kids who are the same way. But in the end they all do learn. I am still having issues with my little one who will be 3 in a couple days. Can you take a total break from it for a while? Maybe is she thinks you have given up and it is her "idea" it will be more appealing to her. 

Good luck, it can be frustrating!