So frustrated with DD's clinginess

[strmis]

I have always considered myself a relatively AP kinda parent. Co slept, slung her around a lot, lots of nursing... etc.. but lately DD has been SO clingy that I am getting frustrated.  She does not play on her own (unless with other kids... at least she does this), she will not sleep without someone by her side holding her or holding her hand (she was doing good for a while eventually falling asleep on her own, but has regressed so much). 

Maybe part of this is hormonal as I am nearly 7 mos pregnant, maybe part of this is because DD just turned 3 and is going thru some neurological growth.

Two things that are frustrating me to the point of tears almost every day are:

1) she will not let me leave her alone in the house, not even to use the bathroom or get a glass of water.

2) she will not sleep at all on her own. i cant even get out of the bed to close her closet without her making a fuss. This was not always the case.  I've practiced some of the techniques in No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers, which worked for a bit but now shes regressing again.  Since this regression, I am finding myself becoming less and less patient. Its like she "caught on" to me trying to get her to sleep on her own.

 What is going on here? Anyone that can help or any other techniques I can try? I dont like stressing so much especially when pregnant, and especially to the point of tears.  I feel like I'm stressing out the poor little one inside me, too.

[mamazee]

She might be responding to your pregnancy and the impending birth. It's a really scary time for kids, and there is usually regression. It might last for a while after the new baby is born, too. Do you have family or friends to call upon who can take her out so you can have some rest on a regular basis? It might be less annoying if you're more rested, but it's probably not going to go away until some time after the new baby is here and she's adjusted.

[strmis]

I do have family that she stays with sometimes when I work at home. that helps A LOT!!!! I think its those days when the rough night anger and frustration carry over to the next day and I have her all day.  Funny that they sense the changes are coming.  I think what really stresses me out is the idea that she'll be like this when the new one gets here. I  think thats where a majority of these emotions really lay.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by strmis 

1) she will not let me leave her alone in the house, not even to use the bathroom or get a glass of water.

what do you mean 'let you'.  How does that work?  I ask b/c when my kids go through those phases the only thing that works is to barrel on regardless.  It makes things WAY worse to give into the drama.  It just feeds their fear.  So if that means I pee with a child flipping out outside the door then that's what I do (quickly, obviously).  That's just one example.  BUt I'd consider if you're feeding the fear rather than soothing it.  She needs to know that it's OK if you leave.  That you come back and life goes on.

It's like the advice you get when you put your kids in preschool.  Quick kiss and leave even if they're crying.  It sounded mean to me until I went through it.  Sure enough they were right.  It does work and is kinder in the long run, IME.