Getting verbal attention and the older child? Interruptions, yelling from the other room,...

[IdentityCrisisMama]

How would you improve upon scenarios like this: 

1.  Nine year old interrupting conversations.  For instance, adult visitors over.  People chatting in the living room.  9 year old welcome to join in the conversation.  Adults willing to involved child in conversation.  Child, not that interested in being in the conversation.  Child moves in and out of the room when the spirit moves her and, in doing so, interrupts the conversation in a way that really distracts mama.  

2.  Family yells to get attention from other rooms/other floors of the house.  Mama fine with that when there is some reason for doing so (like someone is watching the baby and needs something asap).  Mama not fine with yelling from downstairs, while I'm brushing my teeth to ask something that is not remotely time sensitive.  

3. How would you address a child not always looking at a person while they are talking?  I don't notice this at home so much but I did really notice it at my grandmother's house.  DC was not facing her way when she would speak.  DC has a soft voice anyway so my grandmother could not hear her at all.  

Thanks for your thoughts!  

[Quinalla]

1. I'm not sure of the nature of the interruption on this one, but maybe an "in or out" rule? Stay in the living room and participate or go play anywhere but? Maybe give the child one or two times to go back and forth or at any natural breaks (someone leaves, you all go get some food, etc.)

2. No yelling/screaming except when there is a true need. If you do when there isn't, some sort of immediate consequence. Like in your example, maybe have the child bring the laundry up and start folding it while you finish brushing your teeth, you take over when you are done. Something that interrupts them the same way? I'm sure someone else can come up with something better, but I think the key is some kind of minor consequence immediately if it is happening a lot.

Or maybe if the need you, they yell to determine your location, then come up/down to you unless they have the baby? Might still need reminding and maybe a consequence if they forget too much, but that gives an alternative up front and a good way to bring up and reemphasize when yelling for help is ok. (DH and I often have this conversation, "DW?" "Upstairs in the bedroom." and then DH comes up the stairs to talk to me or says "Can you come help me with X"/"Can you bring me X." if he is in the middle of something or needs something when I come back downstairs or whatever.)

3. Have them start with you so they can get used to it and makes sure you are modeling it. Just keep reminding DC and getting DC used to it with you. If they already do look in your eyes when they speak to you, talk to you DC about it with others and find out why they don't and maybe agree on a sign or easy "code" word to remind them in public so they aren't embarrassed but you can still help remind them.

Hopefully others have better ideas as I don't know how good mine are, I am curious!

[mom2grrls]

1.  Is she moving in and out of the room so loudly that it bothers you?  Or do you just not want her to go in and out?  I would work with her on quieter entrances/exits while adults are talking or suggest other activities she can do while in another room to keep her busy.

2. Talk to your family and tell them what you expect and why(finding you instead of yelling).  Make sure you also do not yell from other rooms with non emergencies when speaking to family, habits are hard to break so give it a while:)

3.  Explain why eye contact is important with grandma and have her practice at home.  Perhaps direct eye contact makes her nervous, see what she thinks about it, maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing.