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Our Night Weaning Story - Daily Progression - Page 2

post #21 of 37

Sure hope this good night repeats itself for you & family, mama.


If you feel you've had success, would you sometime summarize your steps/your experience?

post #22 of 37

I'd also like to say, "thank you" so much for sharing your story and progression. You are doing a great job! My DS is 18 mo. old, and I got on the forums specifically looking for threads on night-time sleep/nursing, etc. I haven't decided what to do yet, but I enjoy your sense of humor and open-ness! :) 


--Another Tired Mama

post #23 of 37
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by janet953 View Post

If you feel you've had success, would you sometime summarize your steps/your experience?

Janet, the best summary I can give you is to read through Dr. Sears, Jay Gordon, and whoever else feels right to you and then make a plan and stick with it.  What worked for us may or may not work for you because your LO may respond to something that ours does not.  DH and I went so far as to verbally discuss our detailed plan of action, talking about how we would deal with the various scenarios that we could think of.  We started the very next night and as soon as I put DD to bed, I came out and confirmed with DH that I remembered correctly.  You know well how your memory is not very trustworthy when you're sleep deprived.  Yeah, well.  There ya go! 


Good luck!  It CAN be done.


Yesterday's nap was pretty crummy!  DD did NOT want to go to sleep.  I wonder if it had something to do with the solid hours of sleep but I think it may be more the difference in the overall routine with no wakings and with us now napping in her "big girl" bed.  Either way, I was beat and my tolerance was short so I snapped at her and then walked out.  greensad.gif  After I pulled myself together, I went back in and helped her get back to sleep.  DD slept for 1.5 hours!  Yea!!!!  biggrinbounce.gif


Last night, bedtime was not easy.  For some reason, DD was yawning at 7:30.  Repeatedly.  She hasn't been yawning at that time since she was tiny.  headscratch.gif  So, naturally, we started bedtime right away - paying attention to her cues as good parents do.  Ha!  She showed me!  moon.gif  DD stayed up and fought going to bed for an hour and a half.  At one point, she even crawled off the bed and ran out of the room.  ARGGGGH.  Ok, so I took another deep breath.  Put her back on the bed and ordered her to go to sleep.  Instead of laying down right next to her and letting her loll around, I decided to sit on the other side, DH's side, of the bed and kept telling her that it's time to sleep and that she needs to lay down and go to sleep.  I did not offer to nurse again.  Well, this only took about 15 (maybe 20) minutes.  Wow.  I actually had nightmare reminders of how DS's bedtimes used to be.  He refused to fall asleep and it would take 2 hours of me sitting next to him before he not only fell asleep but enough to where I could confidently get off the bed and leave the room.


Dang kids!  nut.gif  We signed up for this, right?!


It was around 9:30 by this point and I came out, shut down the house, left the hubz sitting in his chair working on something, and went to bed. 


DD didn't wake up until 6:15/6:30 AGAIN!  WOOOO HOOOO!  And the Angels were singing....  bow.gif


Ok, now, nobody tell her that I'm excited, ok?!  It'll be our little secret!!!  winky.gif


Today's nap was sucky for a different reason.  She fell asleep pretty quickly but was up and out of her bed and room in 40 minutes flat.  Gah.


Ok, I'm hoping for another night of sleep, magical sleep.  loveeyes.gif

post #24 of 37
Thread Starter 

Last night was not a good night compared to the last two.  She went to sleep about an hour after normal and then woke at 5:15 asking to nurse.  Since it would be another hour before the sun started coming up, I had to tell her no and she proceeded to kick me.  Yea, me.  dizzy.gif  She got up for the day around 8 so that's not too bad but I sure do wish that last night was better.  Turns out that she has a stomach virus of some sort.  Slept with a touch of diarhea in her dipe all night and has been going all day long.  Poor thing.  greensad.gif  Nap today was a good one - 2 hours - except that I slept with her.  She woke up after 45 minutes and wanted to nurse again.  Gah - when does this nap thing resolve itself???


Tonight at bedtime, I did the same thing as last night - I nursed her sitting up in bed and then kept telling her to go lay down.  It didn't take as long as last night's bedtime and she was pretty much out in about 15-20 minutes total.  Mama likes that!  joy.gif


Here's to a good sleep tonight and a clear tummy tomorrow.


-As the Bed Doesn't Get Made

post #25 of 37

I'm still reading, Mama! read.gif


I was wondering if maybe you might have some more success if you slept on the couch for a week and let DH handle the night wakings?


The other night I told my DH that we had to do a night wean soon b/c the boy was up every hour and I was just losing my mind. I've been falling asleep with him at 9 pm and missing time with DH and DD and anything else in my life.



post #26 of 37
Thread Starter 

We may try the separate sleeping arrangements but for now we need to get through this tummy bug that has DD telling me poop and me finding a nasty surprise in her dipe.  Not fun.  Going into the 3rd day but it's getting better.


So, with the tummy thing, I'm going to assume that it is the reason that DD has been waking about an hour or two EARLY before sunrise.  I need to let this pass before I can begin to draw conclusions again about our progress...  I think it's only fair.  Overall, the last couple nights have not been bad - she's slept through till early morning and then fussed but just a few minutes before drifting off again.  After the sun begins to come up, we go back to the same nursing routine as always.


Not too bad.  Could be better.  Hoping for a clear tummy today so she's not waking from hunger. 



post #27 of 37
Thread Starter 

The last two nights have been not horrible.  Bedtime has gotten better and DD does a better job of falling asleep on her own without me laying by her side and then popping my nipple out of her mouth and hoping that she doesn't roll back over to nurse some more.  She's been waking up about 5 the last two nights.  Overall, we're still getting 7 straight hours so I'm happy with that.  I'd love it if we could push it all the way to 8 or more but for now I'll take it!  thumb.gif


For those that might still be reading this thread, I want to encourage you to not give up and say that you are doomed to a number of years of poor sleeping habits from your LO.  If you know for a fact that there is nothing medically wrong, encourage and coax the changes that YOU need to be healthy - physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I know the toll that sleep deprivation took on me.  I felt like I was invaded by some sort of strange being.  I'd look at myself in the mirror and not really see me at all but some sort of creature that looked like she was about ready to fall down.  I suspect that in the last two years (DD is 22 mos + the last 2 of pg), I have aged probably a good 5 years.  Not a happy thing, Ladies!  orngtongue.gif


We are going to continue the nursing "abstinence" in the wee hours.  I am still sticking with the "sun is sleeping" factor to determine when to tell her no but I suspect the time is coming to try sleeping in another room altogether for a while and let DH sooth DD down if she wakes.  For us, it'll be the transition to moving DD into her own bed, in her own room (where she's been napping now for the last couple of weeks anyway).


Keep strong, everyone!  It does get better.  hug2.gif

post #28 of 37
Thread Starter 

So, I don't know if anyone is still reading this thread but I am going to keep posting in hopes that something will click.  For me, for you, for whoever.


Last couple of nights have been meh.  DD is STILL waking at 4:30/5 and demanding to nurse.  She quiets down after a few minutes but...  DANG IT.  I'm totally frustrated.


Last night, DH and I decided that we would try the separate sleeping arrangements.  Up until this point, we have been reluctant to do that since we both believe that husbands and wives should sleep together.  In the same bed.  But, obviously, continuing to do what we have been doing isn't working and DD isn't ceasing to wake and throw a fit about not getting her way.  I'm totally frustrated with night parenting and my level of patience is not what it ought to be.


Last night, I put DD down like I've been doing - sitting along side until she stops lolling around the bed and falls asleep.  She's still at about 30-45 minutes so I can handle that.  However, rather than coming to bed with DD and DH when it was time for me, I went into DD's room and slept on her "big girl" double bed.  She woke at 4:30 and it was full blown hysterics for DH for about 30 minutes until she calmed herself and let DH pat her enough to let herself fall asleep again.  She woke again at 6:15 and since it was light out, DH brought her to me.


This is the part that we are hazy about.  I'd really like it if DD slept a little later since she doesn't go down until about 9 or 9:30.  With that timing, 6:30 is really too early for her to be getting up.  If she slept another hour, then I could get up and I wouldn't resent being a nursemaid for an hour while she got her fill.


Thoughts?  Suggestions?


We'll be doing this again but I guess I'm a little unsure how to proceed here.  Ideally, DH would parent her through this week until we can get her to STOP waking at 4:30/5.  I guess if she becomes a 6:30 wake-up girl, then I can deal with that better than the way things are now.  No, I don't think I'd be ok with just letting her come back into our bed for the last bit of sleep in the early morning.  I am still suffering from serious mood issues and I think they are sleep related.  Unfortunately, I just can't shake it right now.  Even though the night sleep is SIGNIFICANTLY improved, I guess my body (mind?) is now getting greedy and I want more.




It's nap time.  gloomy.gif

post #29 of 37

I just found your thread and read the whole thing w/ great interest.

My DD now almost 3 has always been a horrible sleeper and frequent nurser. I finally got her down to 1 or 2 morning nurses but would be happy to be done w/ those too,


my struggle is the nightmarish 2 hours of putting DD to sleep that you speak of- UGH it's driving me insane!!...

and i'm still working on trying to find a solution to the problem.......thinking of trying to physically wear her out more during the day, since that seemed to have worked wonders for us tonight.


anyway I wanted to say that it looks like you've made some serious progress!!  and good work sticking with it! 

 Just wondering but is your DD sensitive to light?  We got black out curtains from WMrt and they seem to help a little, for us, moslty at bedtime though since the sun goes down so late. But the dark room  in the morning helps too.

post #30 of 37
Thread Starter 

We have near-black out shades. It's two (relatively thick) layers over 2" blinds, which are angled up in toward the ceiling which lets in less light than if we were to have them angled down toward the floor. I don't think light is an issue as it's still pretty dark at 4:30/5 when she wakes... nut.gif  We have to keep the bottoms of the blinds pulled up about a foot or so since we have cats and they like to look out the windows.  We learned the hard way what happens to blinds if they're not pre-opened for our feline friends.


I'm thinking that tonight, and into morning, we'll do the initial same thing - have DH sleep with DD and I'll sleep on her bed. Then in the morning, when she wakes at 6:30ish, he can try to encourage her to go back to sleep and if she doesn't then she's up for the day. I'm thinking I'm not real keen on the hour-long pacifier that's been her compensation so far.


Let's see... We're starting week 3 now and I'm ready for some breakthroughs.


Keeping our fingers crossed that it won't take that much longer!!!



post #31 of 37

What is your ideal dream of a great bed/night time?  Does your DD nurse or is the am nursing her only nursing time?


I don't like the early am nursing either, Yikes 4:30?! Ouch!


I'm  feeling wishy-washy about compleat weaning though....


I think if i got the bedtime routine under controll an early am nurse might not be as annoying as it sometimes is now


hope some breakthroughs are coming your way!



post #32 of 37
Thread Starter 


Originally Posted by mikanmom View Post

What is your ideal dream of a great bed/night time?  Does your DD nurse or is the am nursing her only nursing time?


I don't like the early am nursing either, Yikes 4:30?! Ouch!


I'm  feeling wishy-washy about compleat weaning though....


I think if i got the bedtime routine under controll an early am nurse might not be as annoying as it sometimes is now


hope some breakthroughs are coming your way!



DD nurses pretty much several times during the day.  She nurses upon waking (or 6:30, whichever comes first), at naptime, upon waking from nap, sometimes in the late afternoon, and then at bedtime.  I don't want her to wean yet.  The daytime is perfectly ok with me to have her nursing at this frequency.  She's still taking in a LOT of milk.  I can hear her swallowing so I know I'm making plenty.


It's the nighttime routine that I need to have improve.  We have already seen a significant improvement but I guess I'm greedy - I want even more.  I want her sleep.  I want her to sleep because it's also good for her, not just for me.  She's almost 2.  She's verbal, bi-lingual, and VERY active.  This child NEEDS her sleep.  When she doesn't get enough, she's a completely different kiddo.  She's not as patient with herself or her surroundings.  She's much more clingy, whiny, and easy to upset.  It's basically a bad day for everyone because we're having to compensate for her tired.  I know the same thing holds true for when I'm tired.  I'm no fool (even though I can act it).  biglaugh.gif


Last night's transition to sleeping with just DH was better than the first night.  She woke up at some point (DH doesn't know when since doesn't look at the clock and I don't have one in DD's room) but only made a few squeaks and then went back to sleep quickly after I heard DH sooth her a bit.  At 6:30, she popped out of bed, left DH sleeping there, and went in search of me through the house.  It actually came in handy that she walked right past her room because it gave me a chance to run to the bathroom to pee.  Very important!!!  orngbiggrin.gif 


We then settled into the big bed for about a 40 minute nursing session while DH snored away, still pretty much catching his zzz's.  I love that man!  (Truly, I'm not being sarcastic!)  I do totally envy his ability to sleep through stuff, though.  But, in analyzing our little journey to Sleepville, I think the process has given him a greater awareness of DD's nighttime needs and I think having only him there has given DD a greater connection with him.


I am really keeping my fingers crossed for a continued successful transition!  thumb.gif


(Besides, I don't like sleeping without DH as much as I am enjoying the freedom to move around a bit more in my sleep.  orngtongue.gif)

post #33 of 37
Thread Starter 

I've not updated our progression the last several nights, well, ok, a week, since there has been only slight improvement.  I am still sleeping in DD's bed while she and DH are cosleeping.  I miss sleeping with DH.  greensad.gif


DD is still waking up.  I'm still not sure what time because I've yet to figure out how to put an unobnoxious clock in her room that I can also see at night.  Last night, she woke up at some point but DH doesn't remember her waking.  He's a much harder sleeper than I.  Or maybe I'm just a freakishly light sleeper?  Either way, she's still waking up and we're now going on a month of this and I'm tired of it.  I guess figuratively AND literally.


Last Thursday, I went to see a holistic nutritionist that I've seen before.  Many, many years before.  She did wonders for me last time so I'm keeping my fingers crossed this time also.  I've got a set of supplements to take and DD takes one mixed into her frozen banana "ice cream" before bed.  It's supposed to help regulate her system and get her sleeping better.  It's the same thing for me but at double the dosage.


My PPD is cycling down again and I am again desperate for sleep.  Even moreso that I haven't been able to nap on a regular basis with DD.  Partly, because I don't really want to be her live pacifier when she rouses from her sleep after 45 minutes and then soothes attached to my nipple.  Still, I guess it's better than nothing but ...  meh.  irked.gif


I've started taking valerian to try to help ME relax overnight.  It's helping initially but I still hear everything through my sleep.  I am now more and more convinced that our sleep problems have to do, at least partly, with my sleep cycles.


Tonight, after DD was dressed for bed, she pointed to "her" bed and indicated that she wanted to sleep there.  I didn't put her to sleep there because I'm not sleeping well enough to deal with a 1:30 a.m. (or whatever time) screaming wake up, or her rolling herself out of the bed, or, or, or, or.


Where's my magic wand?!?!?!



post #34 of 37

Just want to chime and say thanks for sharing this story! My DS is almost 18 months, and I am getting more convinced nightweaning is in our future...sigh. I hope that things continue to improve for you, especially with your own moods & mental health!

post #35 of 37

Lurker- I've been watching this thread since it was created and thought I'd jump in.


No magic bullets here.  But I will say that I really think sleeping through the night is a developmental thing.  My little man just night weaned this summer.  He's 3.5 years old.  We are down to nursing only to fall asleep and right before we get out of the bed.  He was waking every 2 hours without fail from birth.  The first month was really hard.  Every time he woke I would tell him yummies are sleeping you can have them when mr. sun comes up.  That resulted in lots of yelling,crying, tantruming, but it never lasted longer than a few minutes.  Now he will sleep an 8 hour stretch without waking most nights, and some nights even a 10 hour stretch. It does get better.  You have to do what is best for you as well though.  And I think since you are having some ppd issues it's probably time to night wean.

post #36 of 37

I know it's almost been a year since the last update, but how does this story end? My DS is 19 mo and I'm starting to think night weaning is in our future. These every 2 hour night nursings are wearing on me, as are the 45 min nap/nurse intermissions, and the "I'm hungry & Mom is the closest food source" nursings, etc.


Thanks again for sharing!

post #37 of 37
I night weaned my daughter just before age three. We had a few nights of complaining and asking for milk, then it got much better. Now she probably sleeps through the night 4 out of every 5 nights. The other nights she wakes once or twice but doesn't ask for milk.

I was night nursing her and her younger brother and going crazy from sleep deprivation.

A tip I got from a naomi aldort article that used to be on this site is to nurse to sleep then not again until morning. That way they are never confused if it is time to nurse or not.
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