Lack of support every where I turn.

[leahestey]

Sorry, I am venting and hoping for support.

There is are not many doctors who support VBA2C in my state. Only maybe 2 and they are too far away to be comfortable with. I have been seeing a local ob/gyn who gave me a little hope since I told the practice that the ACOG guidelines have been changed for women who have had two c-sections.

Now, after talking to another practice (the more techy ones who deal with more high risk moms), they had in their minds that I agreed to a c-section. I said "I want to try to have this baby naturally but if worst comes to worst, I will accept a c-section."

Every one who I have talked to that mean something to me has question my judgement. They do not know the research that I have done. It's coming out of my ears! I'm scared to tell them anything more because I will be looked at like a bad mother when in fact, I'm doing what's best for me and my baby.

I think they're scared of the unknown "risks." Well, no matter where or how you have your baby, there is risk. Why is it so hard to have the baby the way you want to?

We , the USA, have the highest death rate in childbirth than any other country. Hmmmmmm, we have the highest c-section rate in the world....... Connection, anyone? And why are we having this when we have the most technology?

Finally, I have decided to fire my doctor. All the necessary tests have been done. Oh, what about pre-e? Well, the pee test they do every time you come is not very accurate. You need to have high blood pressure and I think 300mg (I'm 80% sure on the mg) of protien in your urine in a 24 hr period. Yes, a 24 hour period. That means the most accurate test is not that little bit you put in the cup but a jug of a 24 hour urine sample!

Breech baby you say? 25% of all babies are breech and CAN be delivered natural. It's just not practiced any more. Big baby? Nope, it's textbook size and besides, these ultrasound machines can be off by a pound or two.

Uterus rupture? Only 0.5% chance for one c-section and double that with two (hmmmm, 1%). And it's been 5 years since rthe last one (they, ACOG, recommend 18 months between c-section and VBAC).

It's sad that my doctor tried to pull "stillborn" on me.

[ryan'smom]

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time with finding support!  It sounds like you are confident in your decision to have a VBAC2 and that is the most important thing.  It sounds like you are on the right track in finding a supportive provider.  That is equally important.  Have you contacted your local ICAN?  They can be an invaluable resource in not only helping recommend a friendly provider, but emotional encouragement that you are lacking from family as well.

I'm sorry your family is questioning your judgment, but in the end it is your body/baby and YOUR decision.  Easier said than done to let the hurtful comments roll off your back.  Stay strong mama!  You'll find lots of support here!!

[leahestey]

Sadly, there isn't a local ICAN. They actually asked me to start one.

[Alenushka]

Please, before you rely on your reserch to make your mind about anything, learn a little more.  US has bad infant death stats for such developed country. We have rather good stats as far as neonatal mortality.

[ablepearl]

While the neonatal mortality rate in the US is low, it is comparable to other developed nations.  Which means you then need to compare the things that we are not doing as well with, which is maternal mortality. With our high c-section rate, that does not actually decrease the neonatal mortality rate, we do have an increase in mothers death.  Hmmm, so all those c-sections aren't saving babies, but they are killing mothers.  How is that beneficial to anyone?  When a surgical birth is needed, then it is needed.  But for it to be over 30% is scary!  That high c-section rate is leaving childless mothers at an unnecessary rate.

The safety of VBa2C is well known.  To the OP, your best bet is to just keep your plans for birth between you, your support person and the provider you choose that is supportive of you.  Discussing it with others will only stress you out more and you don't need that.

Have you joined the ICAN yahoo group?  If not you should!  You will find nothing BUT support there.

[Alenushka]

Hmm...we also have a maternal population that is not that healthy. We have high rate of obesity, high rate of older moms and higher rates of multiplse because of our unethical feritlity  spcialists.

[ablepearl]

As do many other industrialized nations, that is not specific to the U.S.  

I was seriously thinking the OP was looking for support.  I really don't understand how you are being supportive.  

[ryan'smom]

Originally Posted by Alenushka 

Please, before you rely on your reserch to make your mind about anything, learn a little more. 

I think the OP was mainly venting about the lack of support she has been receiving..  I don't think she intended to debate/defend any research she has done.  I'm sure condescending remarks like this are what the OP already hears when dealing with her family and care providers. 

OP, I think the Yahoo ICAN group is a great idea.  Also, have you posted in Finding Your Tribe to see if anyone has any suggestions for a more friendly provider?  Good Luck!!

[kltroy]

OP:  sorry you're feeling this way - I know it can be very frustrating.  As I see it, you basically have two options:

1. Find someone (CPM?) who will do an out of hospital birth for you, if you feel comfortable with that option, or

2. Choose the best of the OBs that you have seen, stand firm in your commitment for VBAC, and have an open conversation, every time you see him or her, about your desire for a VBAC, the fact that you understand the risks, and how much you would appreciate support on this matter.  Remind the doctor that patient preference is important.  Put the risks for VBA2C in perspective - compare the death rate for CVS or amniocentesis (make sure you have good statistics on these or you will not seem credible -- btw, your stat on breech babies is off by 5x, and that sort of mistake definitely makes a doctor question whether you have any clue at all about what numbers mean).  Anyway, work with the doctor to come up with a birth plan that you both feel is a reasonable balance of giving you a reasonable shot versus working within his/her comfort.   It might be helpful if you can speak with a doc who *has* attended successful VBA2Cs and put that doctor in touch with your doctor. Maybe someone from the nearest ICAN group (I know you do not have a local group) can help to put you in touch with such a person. 

If you need help locating the most relevant research literature, contact ICAN National or PM me and I will help.  Before you do, though, think about what specific information you will need so that you don't send someone on a wild goose chase :) 

Best of luck