But I still think that's unfair if the birth mother really wants circumcision for her child. It's unfair to lead her to believe that it will happen when the adoptive parents are actively trying to make sure it doesn't. I would hope that if the adoptive parents are really against circumcision, they would make that clear at the start. That way the expectant mother is able to choose a family that fits what she believes.
"There is no decision to be made on behalf of the hospital staff about who gets to decide."
True. But there is, always, a decision made by clinicians as to how they are going to time elective medical procedures. A clinician who knows that delaying circ by one day would mean no circ might schedule things a little differently than a clinician who knows that both the birth and the adoptive parents are asking for circ. Remember, clinicians are also caught in a horrible ethical dilemma here, and they're increasingly aware of it. They must respect the legal parent's wishes. They must respect the child's human rights. These two ethical mandates collide more sharply with RIC than with almost anything else that happens in a hospital. OP may not have legal status until papers are signed, but that doesn't mean she should shut up. It just means she has to be realistic about the fact that circ may happen anyway.