I am an admitted house snob. I don't need a huge, fancy house, but I do need to feel proud of where I live. And I think I'm going to be embarrassed to have people over to this new house :(
So much went into this selection, and we are renting, so we are kind of at the mercy of the housing stock that is available. This is just HARD for me.
We have to move bcs dh needs to be closer to work and he has been away from us several nights a week for several months. Honestly, I don't mind this arrangement too much. Our cost of living is manageable where we are now, we get free health care, and I have made several good friends. The kids are starting to have good friends (it's taken them awhile). And it's beautiful where we live. More rural than I'd ever imagined myself, but it turns out that I pretty much love it (inconveniences aside!).
Except the schools here really are struggling, and I will be so relieved to be is a strong school system again. And that's the only thing that is making it ok.
But the house we are moving to...sigh. DH and I both have architectural backgrounds, and I think that we appreciate details and architectural interest more than most. It MATTERS to me, how the space feels. And we're moving into a raised ranch...the one house style I said I would NEVER live in (just my personal taste, no offense meant to anyone). The house has pluses...a 2 car attached garage (something we've NEVER had), 2 1/2 baths (5 of us have been managing with ONE), a beautiful little kitchen...but the house is UGLY, and the neighborhood is tacky...and I imagine people will judge me based on where I live :(
I know I have to just grow up about this, but it is something that I can't get my head around. I feel like the universe delights in making me eat my pride. I grew up so comfortably and the past several years have been such a financial struggle. I never imagined this is what my life would be :( And living in this house highlights it all I guess :(
I need a hug :(