my poor 6 yr old son

[crunchyveganmom]

Ok we are having some problems. I am trying to stay GD but it is getting sooo hard. I didnt start out GD it has been pretty recent that I am doing GD. My son went to kindergarden this last year and oh my I was told that he was very disruptive in class and that he had to move and wiggle all the time. She suggested  he had ADD but he can sit for a long period of time when he wants to. I have tried to sit him down for three minutes and add two minutes everyday he gets in trouble for moving around alot.I hated putting him in a public school anyway.I have always wanted to homeschool my children.  My oldest son who is 8 has always been good and listened in school since he went to a military type school on base when hubby was in the marine corps. I was spoiled and I totally understand different children do things and learn things differently. I would love anyone that has had this experience to give me any advice...Thanks.

Oh and he kind of has an attitude. Oh and at one point he mad fun of a little girl at school. I cant believe I admitted that but it shows how bad things have gotten and maybe it can help if I gave all the info. We have tried and tomorrow morning he will be writing a not to his teacher and saying sorry for his behavior. I have made a behavioral chart. I dont know if I am doing anything right and if I am not I am at whits end I dont knw what else to do.. Again any help would be appreciated.

[mamazee]

I guess maybe more information would help. It sounds like the only problems he's had this whole school year are a bit of an attitude (can you give details and tell how often?), making fun of someone once in the whole school year, and having trouble sitting still? From that, it sounds like he's basically a good kid, though normal for his age and of course not perfect. But it doesn't sound to me from what you've written like it's really gotten that bad. What does the attitude look like? Did he apologize to the little girl he made fun of? I mean all kids get into little bits of trouble here and there but I don't think that shows he's anything but normal for his age. And lots of kids that age have trouble sitting still, though the fact that his teacher felt the need to contact you about it says there's potentially something going on. But the thing with that is it isn't necessarily even within his control, and if it's outside of his control he can't just change it.

He's still learning and some of this stuff will get better simply as he matures. What sounds worst is making fun of someone, but if it was an isolated event, I wouldn't worry about it. I'd just try to teach him about empathy - talk about how he feels when people make fun of him, and show him that others feel the same when they're made fun of. And kids do get attitudes - it's a way of trying to become more autonomous - and sometimes simply giving him more autonomy can help with that, but again it depends on the specifics. And I'm afraid nothing will make a child have a good attitude all the time, just like nothing makes us happy and nice all the time. We all have moods.

Anyway, I'm interested in hearing more!

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I think that when the problems are largely at school it's a really good idea to look to the teacher for help.   I have seen first hand that kids whose parents are actively engaged in helping with problems in the class room are given extra help from the teacher as well as extra understanding for their struggles.  

Perhaps also keep in mind that I think a lot of pre-school and elementary teachers "ride" all kids no matter how well they're doing.  I think the idea is to help each kid improve to the best of her/his ability.  Is it possible that your child isn't disruptive to the point of hurting the class but it's more that the teacher recognizes these few things as areas where he most needs improvement?  Just a thought.  

Five years old is also the end of a really tough stage (imo).  It starts around 3 and ends around 6.  It's possible that your child will just outgrow some of this stuff by around his next birthday.  

[mom2grrls]

. I have tried to sit him down for three minutes and add two minutes everyday he gets in trouble for moving around alot.>>>>>.

Punishing at home isn't going to work to help the situation at school.  Talk with his teacher about what she expects and how the 3 of you can work together to figure it out.  Not being able to sit still is pretty normal for a lot of 5 y/o boys, how long does she expect them to sit quietly?  How often did they change activities or have a chance to get wiggles out?

[crunchyveganmom]

Well I will say that today he was disruptive in class and he shouts and he runs around the room to his different stations.He did apologize to the little girl. I am worried that we have been flagged and we are kind of in a catch 22 either we do something like get him tested(which the teachers have suggested) or we dont and we get told something needs to happen.We have asked the teachers and they dont seem to have alot of suggestions about it.They only have one recess to me that seems like it is not enough at all. When i was in school many many many moons ago We had three one in the morning before classes start, one after lunch and one in the afternoon. If we were disruptive we lost the afternoon one but we still had two.  I think that is a big problem.

I understand about punishing him at home for what he does at school but I get no information about what is expected in his class (I am not a fan of his teacher but that is who he has for  the summer program).  He has done well in the past some days and I do think he is a good kid I just think he does bad things some times. It happens we have all done it. I think he will be alot like his momma only I was the oposite I was horrible at home but really good in school. I thought about trying out the ADHD diet not that I think he has it would show the school that I am doing something and maybe it will be good enough for the school. Thanks ladies for all of your advice...

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by crunchyveganmom 

Well I will say that today he was disruptive in class and he shouts and he runs around the room to his different stations.He did apologize to the little girl. I am worried that we have been flagged and we are kind of in a catch 22 either we do something like get him tested(which the teachers have suggested) or we dont and we get told something needs to happen.

You might post your question on the special needs board. There are several regulars on that board whose kids have ADD/ADHD. There are old threads about the pros and cons of evaluations and labeling.

[JerseyMamma]

I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult. Just an FYI that people with ADD ARE capable of focusing for very long periods of time on things that they are interested in. Most people with ADD can "Hyperfocus". I would encourage you to have a professional evaluate him before too long. Get a sense of what they think is going on before approaching the teacher to make a joint plan on how to deal with the behavior.

[umsami]

Have you heard about wiggle seats??  They're supposed to be great for fidgeters.  http://www.amazon.com/Isokinetics-Brand-Exercise-Balance-Cushion/dp/B000WQ4Z94/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309914924&sr=8-1

I'm assuming school is out for the year, but try getting one and letting your son use it at dinner, etc.  It might help with wiggling.  You can give one to his teacher next year if it helps.

I've also found out that with my eldest especially, it was really important to get him active before school.  So, either we'd walk to school (if I was organized enough and we got up early enough)... or we'd walk/run/hop around the block on the way to the bus stop, etc.  Just helping him get some energy off in the morning helped a lot.  Another thing I did was speak with his teacher about not taking away recess as a punishment, because it was so critical for his afternoon behavior. 

Another thing that seemed to help was Omega-3 supplements.  We used the Coromega kind, which is like an orange flavored gel.

[irona]

Sometimes is can be as simple as the wrong teacher for your son.

My youngest is 6 and just finished Kindergarten at public school,(I too would prefer to homeschool, unfortuantely as a single mother I am not able to.)......His first teacher in kindergarten did not have the skills nor understanding of 5/6year old boys. She struggled with my childs behavior, he is very intelligent and has 4 much older siblings, therefore leading to his vocabulary being far above that of a 6 year old, but with behaviors of a normal 6 year old, wriggley in seat, very active, opinionated.  As the school year continued I noticed he was not the only child this teacher struggled with.  I asked and really pushed for a different teacher who I knew and felt had the skills to deal with a "normal" 6 year old boy. The switch was made and things improved greatly. He was not labeled, the teacher found what worked best for him as discipline in school and it was successful.  He is still very much a wriggley little boy with lots of energy and smarts about him.