Quote:
Originally Posted by
bohemian madreÂ
I am so sorry this is where you are today. My heart goes out to you. It sucks to feel this way however you diagnosis this!! I feel completely burned out as a mother too. To suggest that I stop mothering my children in the ways that I feel are most healthy (tandem nursing, cloth diapering, homeschooling, co-sleeping) is intolerable. I want support to mother this way - not told to do it differently. I want our culture to support mothers. I would actually get tax credits if I send them away to daycare! I am burned out and don't have my needs met because it is impossible to meet the needs of an attached family in a nuclear family structure. I feel angry that the only way to keep going is for me to either dig a little deeper and give more or compromise my children's current and future health and happiness. What kind of world is this that I have to fight to mother my children in an attached way -Â where there is little to no support to mother my children?Â
I get lots of support. The reality is that, if one is nursing two children (I've never done that, but have come close - nursed right up to labour), cosleeping, and also homeschooling and doing cloth diapering (okay - maybe not the CD...I don't really find it that much extra work), then one is pretty much totally subordinating one's own needs to that of the children. I don't think that's always a bad thing, but it does wear a person down. Whether it should or shouldn't be that way isn't really relevant. It is that way. If a mom is burning out, that reality has to trump ideals. Maybe that means you still do all those things, but dial down the homeschooling a little, and make sure you get out two evenings a week for an hour or two. Maybe it means something else.
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And, homeschooling and AP are two different things. Choosing to homeschool (I do, also) means that we are choosing to place a heavier burden on our own nuclear family. I don't think blaming the society we live in, because we choose to take on more demands within our own family unit, makes a lot of sense. I was an AP parent (although I'd never heard the term) with ds1, and he went to public school. I got lots of support for the way I parented. I also get lots of support for homeschooling, actually. But, homeschooling is still taking on a schedule that involves a lot less downtime. A lack of support isn't the issue. The fact that I've chosen (as have others, including the OP) to take a large workload, which doesn't include many built-in breaks, onto myself is the issue. If and when I reach a point where I'm seriously burning out, then it's time to re-evaluate...but not because there's no support - because it's a big, big job.
