Mama exposing too much? - Page 3

[hillymum]

I shout out warnings to my kids that I am on the toilet naked and they still come talk to me!! My eldest is more selfconcious now, but he will still talk to me while I am in the shower or walking around in my bedroom getting dressed. If he wants to sleep with me I will put a vest top and panties on, where as with my 10 and 6 yr old I will only put panties on.

[Nasubi77]

Originally Posted by Mummoth 

What is your DH's response when you say your PJ's cover more than your swim suit? I think as long as private parts are covered, it's nobody's business but your own. I wear the same kind of things for PJ's as the OP, and I think if my son was uncomfortable with that, he'd need a reality check! I won't not go swimming for his teen years if my modest swim suit makes him uncomfortable, why would I change what he might see for 30 seconds while I run to the bathroom in the morning? Being uncomfortable and getting over it is part of puberty.

His response is usually something along the lines of, "Well, that's different..."

And for those who wonder what the root of DH's problem with this issue is, he remembers seeing his mother put on pantyhose when he was about that age, and now he has something of a pantyhose fetish so I think he makes that connection.

[Mummoth]

Ohhhhh... well, I think it's pretty hard to argue with an irrational fear, but there's no way you guys can predict what might become appealing to DS when he's an adult. You could drive yourself crazy trying to avoid anything that he could associate with sexually later on. It could be seeing you brush your hair or put on sunscreen or... the purple oven mitts with the duckies on them! What people grow up and find attractive is totally random, and if he happens to associate that with something you did around him when he was a kid, then it's too bad but he has to live with it. you aren't doing anything inappropriate and your DH shouldn't be treating you as though you are.

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Originally Posted by AFWife 

I think that it should be a family decision. Normally I'd say when your son feels uncomfortable you'll know it and then you can take appropriate steps. But, to keep the arguments down, maybe just grab a super comfy and cute pair of shorts to walk around in until you actually slip into bed?

Yes.. Old Navy has some really comfey Boxer shorts.  Kinda expensive considering it's Old Navy but, I really like them.

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I have asked my husband to wear a shirt around anybody else in the house.  He respects my feelings without worrying about what causes them.

[2xy]

As a kid, I didn't care about my parent sitting around in their underwear. My dad's boxers didn't look a heck of a lot different than his bathing suit.

I DID, however, have a problem with them being in their undies when I had friends over. Seeing as they weren't very thoughtful in that regard, I didn't ask my friends to come over much, and I wasn't home much. Natural consequences.

I have never been in the habit of sitting around in my underwear, even before I had kids, so that practice continued into my parenting style and it's just not something I do. I like to be clothed. But I don't think it's inappropriate if someone else does it.

[2xy]

duplicate

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by Nasubi77 

I just wanted your opinions on this issue where my husband and I disagree...

I sleep in a t-shirt and underwear.  My t-shirts aren't extra long, but they are always at or below my hips and underwear is "full coverage" (okay, yeah, they're granny panties!) so we're not talking about mid-drifts and thongs or anything.  Late at night when it's close to bed time, I will lay around in my bed watching TV or reading in my sleepwear.  Sometimes, I will walk around like that, like if I need to go to the bathroom or I need something from the kitchen, etc. 

I feel the sleepwear is pretty modest.  Really, the shirt covers most everything..maybe an underwear-covered cheek poking out from the bottom of the shirt is all you can see!  It certainly exposes less of my body than a bathing suit or less even than some girls dress in public with their short shorts and tube tops!  But my hubby thinks it is too much for our 11yo ds (who isn't even shy about running around in his boxer-briefs). 

I think having a casual attitude about family underwear is fine.  I mean, my dad will still briefly (no pun intended ;) come out of his bedroom in his boxers to grab some pants out of the dryer or something if I'm there, and I don't have any weird Oedipal complexes or anything.  I think DH making a deal out of it would be more harmful to DS's psyche and attitude about our bodies than catching a glimpse of mom's butt cheek ever would!  To be fair, DH does not mention the issue in front of DS, but he does fuss at me about it.

So, t-shirt and underwear appropriate in front of 11yo ds or not?

I think that if it's something you've "always" done in front of your children then it's no big deal. However, as they get older I'd keep an eye out and watch things and if they start to become uncomfortable with it then maybe cover up when walking out in the house in front of them. Until that were to happen then I wouldn't see a problem with it. I didn't show that much in front of my son when he was younger, but I did dress in front of him and go potty with him in public places to a certain age and I could just tell once he got to an age where he was uncomfortable with it.
 

[MicheleRMT]

Sounds like your hubby is pretty controlling.  We were born NAKED.  Why be embarrassed or awkard about your own body.  Weird.  He's making a thing where there isn't one.  I sometimes get caught by my dd running to the tub or my room naked.  Who cares!

[pupsnelda]

Originally Posted by Mummoth 

What is your DH's response when you say your PJ's cover more than your swim suit? I think as long as private parts are covered, it's nobody's business but your own. I wear the same kind of things for PJ's as the OP, and I think if my son was uncomfortable with that, he'd need a reality check! I won't not go swimming for his teen years if my modest swim suit makes him uncomfortable, why would I change what he might see for 30 seconds while I run to the bathroom in the morning? Being uncomfortable and getting over it is part of puberty.

 

[Cyllya]

Originally Posted by Nasubi77 

And for those who wonder what the root of DH's problem with this issue is, he remembers seeing his mother put on pantyhose when he was about that age, and now he has something of a pantyhose fetish so I think he makes that connection.

IMO, if you accidentally cause your son to have a fetish for long t-shirts and full-coverage underpants, you're only doing him and his future wife a favor. 

[littlest birds]

 

Originally Posted by Cyllya 

IMO, if you accidentally cause your son to have a fetish for long t-shirts and full-coverage underpants, you're only doing him and his future wife a favor. 

[Alphaghetti]

After reading this  thread, I wonder if we are the only family in the world who walks around naked in front of one another. My children are 7 (ds), 9 (dd) and 11 (dd), and we ALL walk around with nothing at all on, after showers or while looking for clothes etc. None of my kids have ever questioned me, or made me think that they were uncomfortable with it. My 11 yo dd is in puberty too, and will stand and talk to her father while he is toweling off from a bath, without batting an eye.

Is this maybe because we've never made an issue of it? I really do think that our North American culture is a little over the top conservative when it comes to nudity and sexuality on a whole. I know this doesn't directly answer the OP's question, but I wanted to say this.

[orangefoot]

This parental nudity question comes up every now and again doesn't it?

Dh and I both sleep naked and dh will put shorts on to go to the bathroom but I never do and never have done.

I have been naked around my children since they were born and my 18yo son will still once in a while talk to me in the shower or stand in the bedroom doorway talking while I get dressed. My 14yo has always been more private and he rarely does this but that is his choice and I respect that.

Hiding our bodies from our children sends them an odd message IMO and I don't want the only images of female bodies my sons have ever seen to be airbrushed ones they see in advertising or fakery on tv and elsewhere. I am the mother of four children and have a body that shows my journey.

Shorts and a t shirt is a long way from naked so I'd not give it a second thought. Perhaps your husband is putting too much thought into this? His experiences are not his son's!

[lkvosu]

What a refreshing perspective!

Originally Posted by orangefoot 

This parental nudity question comes up every now and again doesn't it?

Dh and I both sleep naked and dh will put shorts on to go to the bathroom but I never do and never have done.

I have been naked around my children since they were born and my 18yo son will still once in a while talk to me in the shower or stand in the bedroom doorway talking while I get dressed. My 14yo has always been more private and he rarely does this but that is his choice and I respect that.

Hiding our bodies from our children sends them an odd message IMO and I don't want the only images of female bodies my sons have ever seen to be airbrushed ones they see in advertising or fakery on tv and elsewhere. I am the mother of four children and have a body that shows my journey.

Shorts and a t shirt is a long way from naked so I'd not give it a second thought. Perhaps your husband is putting too much thought into this? His experiences are not his son's!

[Kirsten]

I would vote sleep in whatever you want, but keep a pair of pj shorts near the end of the bed to slip on when you leave your master bedroom.  I sleep in undies and a tee shirt too - but don't walk around the house that way, and I only have daughters!  To me, underwear isn't what you wear around the house.  And I also agree with those that say that an 11 year old boy might not say he is uncomfortable even if he is.  I'd just toss on shorts or something else comfy when you leave your room.

[Sabrina78]

I don't see a problem with what the OP is doing.  At all.  

I have no issue being in my underwear around my 11 year old ds, and I honestly don't think he's ever noticed.  He also has no issue being in his underwear in front of me or dh.  I don't regularly walk around in my underwear, but if I happen to need to go to another room to grab something to wear (I have a couple of closets ) and he sees me in my underwear..big deal.  Like the OP said, it covers more than a lot of bikinis (and we have a pool, and I wear bikinis.  shame on me, I know ).  I actually had to tell ds to put on some clothes when he was running around in his underwear while my parents were visiting!  He's more likely to do it than us.  I also wholeheartedly agree with orangefoot who said "Hiding our bodies from our children sends them an odd message IMO and I don't want the only images of female bodies my sons have ever seen to be airbrushed ones they see in advertising or fakery on tv and elsewhere. I am the mother of four children and have a body that shows my journey."  I just don't get why the human body is something to be weird about.

[harrietsmama]

I'm a very naked person, and my kids so far haven't said anything about it that makes me feel a need to cover up, and neither has my partner.  He likes to be covered himself, although he's not the natural parent.  I know my kids also still see their dad nude, less often because he sleeps in underpants, but gosh it really is a family to family thing.  I think you've gotten a fair amount of ideas ranging the whole gamut.  I hope you find something that works for you all.

[Jennyfur]

My parents always ran around naked, and all of us kids would talk to my mom while she was in the tub.  She called it Grand Central Station. 

Our kids still at home are 17 (boy), 17 (girl), and 13 (girl), and we don't wear all that much, so of course I think it's okay.  My DH doesn't have any problem with my dress, which more often than not is my nightie.  He tends to hang out in his boxers, and the kids love to stay in their jammies.  Neither my DH nor I has seen any indication that DS17 is uncomfortable.

[jdsf]

I know I only have daughters, and we are a house full of technically girls (I don't have a penis even though I identify as male), but we all walk around in our underwear, sometimes topless, and it's not a problem. We live in a city where there is a public ordinance allowing women to be topless in public, and as such there are a number of pools where women wear only bottoms. If I did have a boy or boys, I would definitely make it known that boobs are only taboo because Western society says so, they are just implements to feed children and the sexualization of breasts is not worldwide, etc. I think it's fine for family members to be in just underwear around the house. Naked does not equal sexual! Luckily my partner works with children who have special needs and my kids volunteer at her school, so they understand that it's ok to be naked from time to time. A couple hundred years ago, no one would think twice, it's just conservative social norms.