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Birth and Pain involved - Page 2

post #21 of 57

I had two completely unmedicated and intervention-free births is a hospital.  Not one "threat" of intervention or "offer" of medication.  It can absolutely be done, but you need to know that going in.

post #22 of 57

This same thing happened to me.  Pushing took a little extra time with #1, but I didn't have any tearing at all (unmedicated homebirth).  My second child practically slipped out, also with no tearing.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post



It's true... I forgot to mention that I had very minimal tearing (my mw even hesitated to call it first degree) with my first and none with my second.  My first (dd) descended fairly slowly through the birth canal stretching and pushing the muscles aside as she came down.  Then at the vaginal opening she pushed out a little and slipped back in, pushed out a little more and slipped back in.   Slowly but surely she came out, stretching the tissue gently.  Of course I found this part frustrating (I wanted her OUT!) but it prevented worse tearing- something I was quite thankful for afterward!
 

 



 

post #23 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post

I don't think anyone mentioned this but being tight/sensitive does not mean birth will be extra difficult/painful or you won't be able to stretch well, or are doomed to severe tears. The hormones of labor work amazingly to open things up! Promise!

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk


I'm glad to hear someone mention this. I'm also sore and tight, I've had physical therapy for pelvic floor muscles and pain associated with intercourse etc. I live in town under 100,000 people and these kinds of womens issues are not well treated or understood by the medical community. (I had to drive 3 hours to a big city for PT appointments.) No one here seems to know how my issues might affect birth. That's what has me so nervous. Am I more prone to tears or debilitating pain? It would be nice to know going into it. But if my hormones can kick into overdrive and make my body do what it needs to, then I would feel less anxiety about birth. I have been on MDC a lot, have read lots of books and we are taking 2 different birthing classes, so I don't feel like that kind of information is a problem (pain management, positions, types of birth etc.)  It's that there isn't much info out there for my situation.

 

I know it's a really sensitive topic for a woman, but does anyone have any experience with pre-existing vaginal pain and how it affected birth? PM me if you don't feel comfortable posting it here. Or let me know if you know of an older thread related to this.  Thanks.

post #24 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by MN BabyDust View Post
I know it's a really sensitive topic for a woman, but does anyone have any experience with pre-existing vaginal pain and how it affected birth? PM me if you don't feel comfortable posting it here. Or let me know if you know of an older thread related to this.  Thanks.

Did you see my previous post in this thread on page one regarding being tight and having an unevenly perforated hymen?  I, too, had been to many doctors including several specialists and a PT.  I found that the sensations of birth were so intense that I was not at all focused on the "ordinary" pain I would feel down there with penetration.   There are so many hormones, so many feelings and emotions... While pushing I was solely focused on getting the baby out of me and any pain I was experiencing was so secondary.... and might I add, gone, like flipping a switch, when she finally slipped out.  Postpartum I did find my previous painful issues to be less, though still present.  I am certainly no longer tight, but I do still experience some pain from the uneven hymen.  Please feel free to ask questions.
 

 

post #25 of 57

Thanks, Jaimee. That's very helpful to know your experience. Did you ever think you couldn't take it and wish you had an epidural during birth? I'm hoping that the adrenaline and hormones will get me through the pain, but I haven't ruled out drugs for pain management.

 

I am assuming birth couldn't possibly make my condition worse post partum- I would think that all the stretching out could only help.

post #26 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by MN BabyDust View Post

Did you ever think you couldn't take it and wish you had an epidural during birth? I'm hoping that the adrenaline and hormones will get me through the pain, but I haven't ruled out drugs for pain management.

 

I am assuming birth couldn't possibly make my condition worse post partum- I would think that all the stretching out could only help.

Not once did I even think about drugs for pain management.  Literally it never crossed my mind.  What did cross my mind the first time was that I needed some help, some support- a new idea to try to deal with the pain of transition.  I was very much lost toward the end and what would have been helpful is if my mw was there letting me know that this was very typical as you approach 10cm.  Instead she was not in the room b/c it was a birth center and she had other things to attend to.  Dh went to get her and what she said to me was, "well, we can transfer to the hospital for an epidural."  I was stunned, even in my labor haze.  Why would I do that?  I knew I was at least at 9cm since I had arrived at the birth center at 8!   Instead I asked her to check me and lo and behold I was at 10cm with just a tiny amount of cervical lip remaining.  She pushed it out of the way and I started to push.  With my second when I reached that point where all my relaxation techniques and mantras had flown out the window and I was leaning into dh asking him to make it stop, something clicked in my brain and I blurted out, "Oh! This must be it!"  We were birthing mostly unassisted (by desire) so I wasn't having any internal checks.  I just knew that was it and I got into the all fours position and gave a little push to see how it felt.  Whoosh!  The baby flew all the way down to the perineum just like that, and in another push and a half he was out.  Very easy and quite enjoyable.

 

For me the pain was not in the pushing stage really.  The most difficult part for me is transition.  While pushing my first out was slow and required a lot of hard work, it was not painful work.  Yes I did experience the "ring of fire" with both of mine but that is typical, not something that only happens to women like us that have pre-existing pain issues.   Crowning is intense for sure, but your baby is almost there, almost in your arms...  No, I didn't find it hard to push through that at all and I am proud of myself and my body for birthing my children without intervention.  There is NOTHING like birth.  It is beyond amazing and it makes me tear up just thinking about it.  happytears.gif

post #27 of 57

Thing is.....you never know. Birth day is pretty much like the rest of the motherhood. You can plan all you want, but nature is not a mother, she is bitch and things will happen the way things will happen,

 

I have high tolerance to pain. I am long time yoga student and meditator. I stay cool as cucumber in worst of crisis. My mom, grandma and great grandma all had 3 hours labor.

 

I was sure all would be easy and natural. I had a acupressure therapist as doula.

 

So, after 18 hours of the worse pain ever, I started hallucinating  from  the pain and my labor stalled.  I agreed to epidural. Took a 3 hours nap and pushed my large baby out in 30 mins without a tear. For 2 weeks I felt like a failure because of an epidural and oOrgasmic birth propaganda.  And then I said to myself that it is stupid. Pain is pain. I would not be patting myself on the back for having my teeth removed naturally without pain killers. Actually, I had, as child , 4 teeth pulled this way. I sill feel my heart race when I am at  my dentist.

 

With my other child I labored at home, got to the hospital when I felt it was getting too intense, had an epidural and pushed an almost 9 lbs baby in 15 mins. I had tiny sore spot after an epidural that went away in one week.

 

Both had Apgra score 9.5. Both nursed well and I fell in love with both as soon as tehy were in my arms. . The hospital was lovely and respectful.

 

So, do not worry too much one way or another. Talk to you provider about risks and benefits of various forms of pain control during labor. See what the local hospital attitude is toward natural birth. My hospital was "Go whatever way you want, but if you change you mind, we are here for you".

 

 

 

post #28 of 57

 

 

  There is NOTHING like birth.  It is beyond amazing and it makes me tear up just thinking about it.  happytears.gif
 

yeahthat.gif

post #29 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post

Thing is.....you never know. Birth day is pretty much like the rest of the motherhood. You can plan all you want, but nature is not a mother, she is bitch and things will happen the way things will happen,

 

... Pain is pain. I would not be patting myself on the back for having my teeth removed naturally without pain killers. Actually, I had, as child , 4 teeth pulled this way. I sill feel my heart race when I am at  my dentist.

 


Oh Alenushka, I imagine you and I could go back and forth for a long time on a variety of issues.  While I agree that you cannot know exactly how your labor is going go I do not believe that one plans in vain or that nature is a b*tch.  I believe that nature made us to birth babies.  I believe that planning and being prepared is absolutely your best shot at achieving the best birth possible.  Yes, remaining flexible is key- flexible to doing what is necessary whether that is changing positions, places to birth, or accepting intervention.   But I strongly believe that NOT preparing and NOT knowing what you want to strive for is a recipe for nearly automatic intervention.

 

Secondly I do not believe pain is pain.  The pain of getting  your teeth pulled without drugs (I cringe to even think of it!) is not at all the same pain one experiences in labor.  One pain is from someone forcibly removing a part of your body that was not meant to be removed.  The other pain is from your body working hard to bring forth new life. One pain is destructive. One pain is constructive.  I really feel that we do women a disservice by making them fearful of the possible pain before they even go through it.   Being prepared for the possibility of pain with coping tools and flexibility is one thing, being anxious and scared that it is automatic and totally uncontrollable is quite another.

 

post #30 of 57


I was not anxious. I was prepared. I have seen  many natural unmedicated birth in Russia as student. I drunk that the natural childbirth Kool-Aid.  I changed positions and I took the baths etc etc etc. Guess what? When the pain is 15 out of 10, one starts to hallucinate.  I am glad modern medicine exists. The only thing I regretted is feeling like a failure for 2 weeks.

 

Everyone talks about risk of intervention but there is also a rink of not intervening. If I did not have an epidural and rests, I would have ended up in c-section because one the pain makes one hallucinate, one can't progress or push.

 

Nature is bitch and only cares about survival of the fittest. Some women are made to give birth. Some babies are made to survive. The rest are made to perish for one reason or another because nature's criteria for survival are totally different from mine.

 

Yes, pain id different and so are women.  No everyone has the same labors, same pain tolerance etc etc etc.  So, it is ridiculous to push the same model or blissful orgasmic birth one everyone. One should be realistic in their expectations.  Thinking happy thought does not change reality.

 

 

What do you mean my teeth were no meant to be removed?  They were. They were causing a lots of issues and pain. I very much wanted them removed . It did not help to reduce the pain.

 

Sometime birth is very painful. Sometime c-section or suction is needed. Sometime women simply do not make breatmilk .  Things happen. It is important to not assume that by doing 100% right things one will get 100% right results....unless one wishes to be disappointed.

To me, the main goal of childbirth it for me to survive and for baby to survive without brain damage. The details of that experience are not that important for me. It is only one day in the many many days of care and love  that is parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post




Oh Alenushka, I imagine you and I could go back and forth for a long time on a variety of issues.  While I agree that you cannot know exactly how your labor is going go I do not believe that one plans in vain or that nature is a b*tch.  I believe that nature made us to birth babies.  I believe that planning and being prepared is absolutely your best shot at achieving the best birth possible.  Yes, remaining flexible is key- flexible to doing what is necessary whether that is changing positions, places to birth, or accepting intervention.   But I strongly believe that NOT preparing and NOT knowing what you want to strive for is a recipe for nearly automatic intervention.

 

Secondly I do not believe pain is pain.  The pain of getting  your teeth pulled without drugs (I cringe to even think of it!) is not at all the same pain one experiences in labor.  One pain is from someone forcibly removing a part of your body that was not meant to be removed.  The other pain is from your body working hard to bring forth new life. One pain is destructive. One pain is constructive.  I really feel that we do women a disservice by making them fearful of the possible pain before they even go through it.   Being prepared for the possibility of pain with coping tools and flexibility is one thing, being anxious and scared that it is automatic and totally uncontrollable is quite another.

 



 

post #31 of 57

That is is true. I was crying from happiness and joy for an hour (-:
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jessica_s View Post

 

 

  There is NOTHING like birth.  It is beyond amazing and it makes me tear up just thinking about it.  happytears.gif
 

yeahthat.gif



 

post #32 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post


I was not anxious. I was prepared. ....If I did not have an epidural and rests, I would have ended up in c-section because one the pain makes one hallucinate, one can't progress or push.

 

I can tell you were prepared and I commend you for accepting intervention when it was needed.  That's remaining flexible.  It is absolutely better to have more minor interventions to prevent more major ones.  Of course!   And of course the ultimate goal here is a healthy baby and mother.  BUT as you said yourself not everyone is the same.  I just disagree with how you have presented some of your experience b/c I can see first time moms easily being scared by it.  It's not the details you've shared- everyone has the right to share their truth, it's the tone.  And perhaps there is a difficulty here online conveying your true emotion.  But what has come through to me is a jaded feeling about unmedicated birth.  The OP would like to try to go unmedicated and I would like to support her in that endeavor.  I imagine that she has been well prepped for the worst of birth already.  She has come here to learn the other side and how to best prepare.  That's it.  OP good luck with your preparations; I wish you the best experience!
 

 

post #33 of 57
I'm going through this for the first time and I'm due in five weeks. I think it's so important that you ladies have provided the support that going unmedicated is possible, and what our bodies are built for, and that the pain of childbirth is most likely going to be constructive pain. Hospitals and society send us the opposite message so often, and my childbirth classes at the hospital definitely freaked me out for a while until I sought out a more empowering class.

However, I just want to support Alenushka's experience, too, that it's important to stay open to intervention if there is a risk to mama or baby, including if mama has reached exhaustion/labor has stalled. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to express this right, but my hubby's and my journey leading up to this point has taught us this lesson, I guess. It took us 2 1/2 years, medical intervention, and three losses to get to this point, and I still have to tune out the fear and channel positive, loving thoughts to our baby daily that she HAS to be healthy and strong because we just love her so much! I guess this journey has taught us that you cannot plan your journey, and sometimes you find yourself walking down a path you never in your dreams imagined you would be on. It has left me hoping and aspiring toward a natural birth, surrounding myself with people who will help me with this goal, but surely not planning that this is the only way I can imagine doing it.

What is important to us is to have a healthy baby and healthy mommy through this journey, and if our girl has to come out by c-section to be healthy then that's ok. That being said, I know that interventions can cause complications, and an epidural frankly scares me, and I want to send my body and my baby the message that we can do this. My hubby is sending me this message too, and he is learning ways to comfort me during labor, including massage, counterpressure, the birthing ball we already bought, and a water tub provided by the hospital. We plan to tell the staff that if there's no danger to baby or mommy, and the labor is progressing, to not offer us medication. It REALLY helps to know that when the pain is most intense we may be almost through it (in transition). I guess I just don't want to hide from the possibility that we might need interventions to get our baby out safely, so that I don't end up feeling disappointed in myself if it happens, as Alenushka did. I think that she was trying to protect us first-timers from that hurt is all. Does that make sense? So thank you for ALL of your responses, because hearing a balanced message definitely helps prepare.
post #34 of 57

I was very focused on pain management as I prepared to give birth. I was able to find a lot of resources to help me understand what the pain might be like and how to cope with it. Much of that information was helpful to me, even though my birth did not ultimately play out the way I had hoped & expected.

 

What I wasn't prepared for was the fatigue. I really think fatigue, not pain, is the thing that set me up for interventions. I wish there were more resources and more information about how to anticipate & deal with a long labor and the resulting fatigue. Pain gets discussed so much, but maternal fatigue seems to be a frequent factor in birth complications (that's my very unscientific opinion, just based on my own experience plus reading a lot of stories here on MDC). As I felt my body getting more and more tired during my long labor, I felt less & less able to understand what was going on and how to get things back on track. It's one of my recurring frustrations that I still don't really understand why my labor took so long and was so fatiguing or what I should have done differently to make it better.

 

If anyone knows of any resources that would help a first-time mom understand fatigue and how to deal with it during labor, it would be great to see those resources. It's too late to help me, but I'd love to see others benefit from that information.

post #35 of 57

Pain and fatigue are a part of vicious circle.  And there is component of mental confusing. Body can only take to much. Pains make you tired, fatigue makes pain feel stronger.

 

I had an easier time with my second child and I  think for a few reasons.

 

I took a lot of time off before due date. With the first one I worked until the day before birth (and he was late).

 

I stopped doing all sort of housework before due date with my second child. I totally suppressed the nesting urge . My water broke as I was washing the floor on my knees with my first child.

 

While I was at home, before I went to the hospital. I ate a lot of good food and kept myself very well hydrated but with my first child I was too excited to eat.

 

If I could give myself an advice a la Back to the Future, I would say "Take 1-2 weeks off before you due date, and for God's sake, do not wash the floors and scrub the kitchen. Nap a lot"

post #36 of 57


I am sorry if i came across jaded. I guess my experience  made me more  of  a realist than optimist.  I guess my main point is that yes, plan hope etc, but for not beat yourself up if thing do not go as planned.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post



I can tell you were prepared and I commend you for accepting intervention when it was needed.  That's remaining flexible.  It is absolutely better to have more minor interventions to prevent more major ones.  Of course!   And of course the ultimate goal here is a healthy baby and mother.  BUT as you said yourself not everyone is the same.  I just disagree with how you have presented some of your experience b/c I can see first time moms easily being scared by it.  It's not the details you've shared- everyone has the right to share their truth, it's the tone.  And perhaps there is a difficulty here online conveying your true emotion.  But what has come through to me is a jaded feeling about unmedicated birth.  The OP would like to try to go unmedicated and I would like to support her in that endeavor.  I imagine that she has been well prepped for the worst of birth already.  She has come here to learn the other side and how to best prepare.  That's it.  OP good luck with your preparations; I wish you the best experience!
 

 



 

post #37 of 57


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post

Pain and fatigue are a part of vicious circle.  And there is component of mental confusing. Body can only take to much. Pains make you tired, fatigue makes pain feel stronger.

 

I had an easier time with my second child and I  think for a few reasons.

 

I took a lot of time off before due date. With the first one I worked until the day before birth (and he was late).

 

I stopped doing all sort of housework before due date with my second child. I totally suppressed the nesting urge . My water broke as I was washing the floor on my knees with my first child.

 

While I was at home, before I went to the hospital. I ate a lot of good food and kept myself very well hydrated but with my first child I was too excited to eat.

 

If I could give myself an advice a la Back to the Future, I would say "Take 1-2 weeks off before you due date, and for God's sake, do not wash the floors and scrub the kitchen. Nap a lot"


ROTFLMAO.gif That's the good advice I needed, too! I was at the hardware store shopping for door when my water broke, and that was after a full day at work! I can't tell you how many times I've wished that I had just stayed home and taken a nap that night...

 

 

post #38 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by CI Mama View Post
What I wasn't prepared for was the fatigue. I really think fatigue, not pain, is the thing that set me up for interventions. I wish there were more resources and more information about how to anticipate & deal with a long labor and the resulting fatigue.

An excellent point for sure!  As Alenushka noted, fatigue makes everything feel worse.  It can cause you to feel hopeless and your body can give up physically and mentally.  As she also noted, it's quite easy to get carried away and overly excited with your first.  That first contraction hits and you think "This is it!!" and you start to rush around making arrangements, timing contractions, forgetting to take care of yourself.  My midwife had a saying: if labor starts at night, take a beer and a benadryl.  Seriously.  The idea here is to RELAX.  To rest as much as possible.  So if labor begins at night, try your best to sleep.  If it starts in the morning or during the day, try your best to "be normal," eating and drinking as you usually would, doing ordinary activities, and resting in between.  Relax through the contractions and let them do their work.  And it cannot be said enough, EAT and DRINK.  You may find that comfort foods work best and that you are only wanting those foods that worked for you while you had morning sickness, so be prepared for that.  It can also help to drink fortified drinks like Emergen-C or laborade concoctions.  And have honey sticks on hand for quick energy boosts as labor progresses.

 

If your water breaks first (only 10% or so of women have this happen contrary to what you see in movies and on TV!), there are some extra things to take into consideration.  Definitely read up on what you can and cannot do once your water breaks.  And also DO NOT rush off to the hospital.  As soon as you notify your care provider that your water has broken you will be on a 24 hour clock.  There are many resources you can read about the risks and benefits of giving your body the time to start labor on its own instead of being induced and/or augmented simply b/c your water broke.   Also note that often the contractions are immediately more intense when your water breaks.   Try not not feel disheartened that the pain is so intense right away, thinking that you're not strong enough and cannot possibly make it all the way.  It's more intense b/c your water has broken and this will likely make labor proceed faster IF you feel safe and can stay relaxed.  I know your experience was different, Alenushka, and it is important to note that what I'm saying is a generalization, meant to be taken as such, and is no way meant to trivialize what you experienced.  love.gif

 

Whether you're early in labor or your water has just broken, rushing to the hospital can easily stall or slow labor especially when the pain is more intense b/c the environment is often not conducive to the laboring woman entering that place where the pain killing endorphins can flow.  In addition many hospitals have protocols that can make everything worse like IV's and continuous fetal monitoring that limit mobility and a requirement that you cannot eat.  Labor is like running a marathon!  You need nourishment.  So staying at home as long as possible, relaxing, and eating and drinking will all help combat fatigue and allow your labor to progress faster.

 

All this being said, if you do reach a point where your body is simply too fatigued to progress, it is important to know that accepting an IV to replace your fluids and electrolytes could make all the difference and allow you to continue.  If that is not sufficient, accepting an epidural could allow you to sleep, regain your strength and allow you to still have a vaginal birth without assistance.  Remaining flexible to these more minor interventions could prevent the more major interventions like vacuum/forceps extraction or or course, c-section.  It is important that you discuss these "what ifs" with your partner and/or doula so that IF the time comes they know what your wishes are and can advocate for you instead of having you whisked off to surgery when you're too tired to protest.

 

My first labor was 20 hours- I'd say that is moderately long- and I really did love almost every minute of it.  As I mentioned in previous posts, transition was challenging for me as were portions of the pushing stage.  But the 15 hours that I labor at home were truly lovely.   I was excited, certainly, but I made sure to eat my normal meals and drink plenty of liquids.  I also did just some light work around the house like laundry and fixing up the guest room for my sister.  With each contraction I would pause and relax.  And as the contractions got closer together and more intense, I moved to the couch where I watched my favorite TV show on DVD (Friends) and practiced my hypnosis techniques.  We called the midwife at one point and my voice was too level to be far enough along so we waited a few more hours to go in.  When I finally had difficulty holding a phone conversation, the midwife told us to come in and I was 8cm.  It was great.  But even the welcoming environment of the birth center with its fluffy bed and dim lights managed to slow down my progress from there- it wasn't home.   So I cannot reiterate enough, labor at home as much as possible!!
 

 


Edited by Jaimee - 7/3/11 at 7:05am
post #39 of 57

I tend to think of myself as sort of a wimp, pain-wise. I can put up with pain, but I'm not one of these people who doesn't feel it, and I kind of moan and whine my way through it. So I always wanted a natural birth but kind of worried that I'd end up not able to handle the level of pain. Last week I did manage to birth my first baby without any pain meds or any interventions. I found it really helpful to take a Bradley class with my husband, so that we both had knowledge of the different stages I was going through, and to have his physical and moral support, to be able to try different positions to find out what worked best for me, and to have a care provider who was really supportive of my natural birth attempt as well. Tolerating labor pain is sort of different than tolerating other kinds of pain, imo--you know that the pain is happening for a purpose (as opposed to many kinds of pain which signal something is wrong and must be fixed), and you can try to have an environment where you can just try your best to relax into the pain and let it fulfil that purpose.

post #40 of 57

WRT to fatigue: it's often related to dehydration. I couldn't bear to drink when I was in labour with DD, and ended up dehydrated and flagging. I got some IV fluids put in, and it made a huge difference - it still wasn't fun, but I felt much more with-it! With my next birth I made DH promise to bully me into drinking a glass of water every hour (I took a cal/mag supplement too). As it turned out, with that labour I wanted to drink - so I sipped water and grape juice continually. Much faster labour (for a variety of reasons, though).

 

Also, with my second baby, I had a good meal when I was in early labour - as opposed to DD's birth, where I hadn't eaten properly for ages before and during labour. And I was much better prepared, mentally, for the pain of contractions. With my first baby I thought I was prepared, because I'd planned a homebirth and had my birth pool and towels and herbs all ready to go - but it turned out I hadn't really given enough thought to labour itself, nd when I ended up birthing in the hospital, I had nothing to fall back on, KWIM? Just disappointment and anger about my situation. It wasn't pretty. So with my second labour my brain was chock-full of birth mantras and advice and techniques from a bunch of birth writers, and it really helped. (It wasn't spiritual or airy-fairy affirmations: more like "Relax your jaw" and "Shake the pain away".) I also did Hypnobabies, which worked... a bit.

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