Need help in planning a trip

[Lisa1970]

I am putting this in parenting because it involves logistics of the children and doing right for my daughter. My daughter is at music camp for 6 weeks. At the end is the big end of season concert. It is a huge deal. It is a 21 hour drive. Plane tickets are expensive to there, minimum $500 a person, but can run up to $1800 a person depending on when you go. (as in, anytime in the first week of July is running closer to $1800). BUT, I did find if we fly to the nearest large city, which is 4 hrs away, I can get tickets closer to $300-400 and then drive the 4 hrs. 

My other children are 16.5 yrs old, 9.5 yrs old, and 7 yrs old and a 1 yr old. The 1 yr old will go whereever I go. And I am 7 months pregnant (due in Sept). The last concert is when I am 33.5 weeks pregnant. 

These are the suggestions that we have come up with....

A)  I go alone, regardless of when I go, last concert or earlier

B) DH and I go with 1 yr old, hire college student to stay with 16 yr old, 9 yr old, and 7 yr old. Stay just the weekend.

C) DH drives with 16, 9, and 7 yr old, and I fly with 1 yr old because I am pregnant. 

D) I go alone for a few days and DH flies up just for the one evening of the concert. 1 yr old would stay with DH then and come with him for the concert. 

E) everyone flies to the major city that is 4 hrs away. (I am wondering if dh drives, will the gas be so much that it would have covered the cost of plane tickets anyway?)

16 yr old says he is not interested in going. 9 yr old says he is afraid to spend 21 hrs in the car (he has anxiety issues). 16 yr old might change his mind after another few weeks of sitting around in this Texas heat. But I don't think he really cares one way or the other.

WDYT?

This is about both the logistics of getting all the kids there without going totally broke as well as what to do with regards to us seeing DDs concert. 

[hopefulfaith]

I would go myself or maybe, if we could swing it, have both my dh and I go.  I would not pay to have the rest of the kids to go unless they were absolutely obsessed with their sister's music and would be devastatingly heartbroken if I didn't.  ;)

I danced when I was in school, and attended a summer intensive one summer.  My sister and brother were supportive, but they didn't _need_ to see me dance at the final program.  I doubt this many years later they ever remember I attended.  It just wasn't on their radar at that age, and I wouldn't expect it would break your other kids' hearts not to go.

I definitely wouldn't put your family's finances into dire straits over this.  It's important, but not debt-producing important.  I imagine your daughter would understand that not all of her sibs could come.

My .02.  :)

[txbikegrrl]

What if your dH goes and can Skype it? I would not fly at 34 weeks.

[txbikegrrl]

Also don't they usually tape the performances at those specialty music camps? Could you buy a copy and make a big deal out of having a family "showing" when she returns?

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by txbikegrrl 

Also don't they usually tape the performances at those specialty music camps? Could you buy a copy and make a big deal out of having a family "showing" when she returns?

I am going to look in to that. I would think they would. I have seen exerpts from last years performance online. So, I am going to call them and ask. Regardless, I still should go for one performance. Honestly, my dh says he hates to fly so much that he does not want to go. I think he should go anyway.

[meemee]

how would your dd feel? would she like her siblings to be there.

i would drive with dh and one year old. would be nice for just the 3 of you guys to be together before baby comes. 

i would NOT try to fly at 34 weeks preggo. i mean would they even allow you to fly at 33 weeks?

do you need to hire a babysitter? cant your 16 year old handle things with a trusted friend/neiighbor checking in?

[pianojazzgirl]

I'd do one of two things:  1.  I would drive with dh and 1yo and leave the other kids at home.  I'd plan to take my time on the drive and make a mini vacation out of it.  Or 2.  I would go just by myself (with the 1yo) and fly, but earlier on in the 6wk session (ie. not for the final concert).  I wouldn't feel very comfortable flying at 33-34 wks pg.

Re. the 3 middle kids... is there any other fun summer vacation option for them besides just staying at home (I'm thinking a visit with grandparents or other relative or friend)?  

[Linda on the move]

I would be more comfortable flying at 33 weeks than driving for 21 hours -- leg cramps.

I would pick either A or B of your options, depending on how your DH felt. I think I would prefer that he come because traveling that far along in a pregnancy and with a toddler is A LOT.

I would try to set things up for the kids so being home without me would feel like a bit of a treat, but I wouldn't bring them along.  Sounds like a chance for pizza and a movie marathons!

[ameliabedelia]

If it's something you absolutely feel you must go to, then I would just go with the cheapest option which is that you and dh drive in together with the 1-yo (or all of you)...but the taking your time and doing that would add considerable expense (lodging and meals).  I think the next cheapest would be for 1 person to fly, but by the time you count car rental and gas from the 4-hours away city, that is going to add up quick.

Personally, I would not feel obligated to go if we couldn't afford it and it would put a financial strain on our family and just buy the final dvd/video whatever (assuming they have one, which I would bet they do).   While attending a child's performances is important, I think the logistics of this make it much harder and I don't think you should feel guilty if you aren't able to attend.   I'm guessing her camp is about 1000 miles away from home, which is pretty far, it's not like it's just a few hours drive. Add in being 33 weeks pregnant and it makes it even more harder, logistically.   I'm also guessing that your family must have already paid a bit of money for her to attend the camp in the first place, and that she is musically inclined, so you've probably seen her in several performances closer to home already.

I'm trying to look at it how I would feel if I were a teen, and child/teen and I don't think I would be upset  if my parents missed a performance that was 1000 miles away...especially if they could still *see** it, just not live.   It's be different if it were close, yk.

If you do go at the end, could you save yourselves some money by taking you daughter back with you?  Maybe she already has the plane ticket, but if not and by my driving out there, we saved the cost of her return flight, I could see myself being more inclined to do it.

Edited by ameliabedelia - 7/3/11 at 10:04am

[Lisa1970]

My children do not have "real" grandparents. There are people who are technically my dh's parents and my parents. My parents even live close by. But my parents never wanted to be grandparents and my mother in particular hates my children. My children are wonderful children and have never done anything wrong around them. It is just my mother has always said that the worst thing that ever happened to her in her life was having children and the best thing that has ever happened to her was her hysterectomy. So nope, there is no one for them to visit. If they go with us to the camp, it is northern Michigan and there was things to do like visiting this island (taking a ferry over) and there is a fort there and all. Also, I have been told of sand dunes. And places to hike and such (it is 100 degrees here and in the 70s there). It is just that is is costly and this pregnancy has been a grueling one so I am unsure how much hiking and such I will be up to. However, I do wonder if getting away from the heat will make me feel better, enough that I can hike and such. I have never been this sick with a pregnancy so I wonder if that is because of the heat.

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl 

I'd do one of two things:  1.  I would drive with dh and 1yo and leave the other kids at home.  I'd plan to take my time on the drive and make a mini vacation out of it.  Or 2.  I would go just by myself (with the 1yo) and fly, but earlier on in the 6wk session (ie. not for the final concert).  I wouldn't feel very comfortable flying at 33-34 wks pg.

Re. the 3 middle kids... is there any other fun summer vacation option for them besides just staying at home (I'm thinking a visit with grandparents or other relative or friend)?  

[Lisa1970]

I think it is more like 1500 miles away so if it is just one or two of us, it is cheaper to fly. This is because gas and wear and tear on the car are so much. I know we spend about $250 going one way to SD and this is much further. And that was $250 a few years ago, we have not made that drive since 2007. I am thinking $400 in gas each way plus all the other expenses related to that drive. We are in Texas and the camp is in northern Michigan.
 

Originally Posted by ameliabedelia 

If it's something you absolutely feel you must go to, then I would just go with the cheapest option which is that you and dh drive in together with the 1-yo (or all of you)...but the taking your time and doing that would add considerable expense (lodging and meals).  I think the next cheapest would be for 1 person to fly, but by the time you count car rental and gas from the 4-hours away city, that is going to add up quick.

Personally, I would not feel obligated to go if we couldn't afford it and it would put a financial strain on our family and just buy the final dvd/video whatever (assuming they have one, which I would bet they do).   While attending a child's performances is important, I think the logistics of this make it much harder and I don't think you should feel guilty if you aren't able to attend.   I'm guessing her camp is about 1000 miles away from home, which is pretty far, it's not like it's just a few hours drive. Add in being 33 weeks pregnant and it makes it even more harder, logistically.   I'm also guessing that your family must have already paid a bit of money for her to attend the camp in the first place, and that she is musically inclined, so you've probably seen her in several performances closer to home already.

I'm trying to look at it how I would feel if I were a teen, and child/teen and I don't think I would be upset  if my parents missed a performance that was 1000 miles away...especially if they could still *see** it, just not live.   It's be different if it were close, yk.

If you do go at the end, could you save yourselves some money by taking you daughter back with you?  Maybe she already has the plane ticket, but if not and by my driving out there, we saved the cost of her return flight, I could see myself being more inclined to do it.