How old is to old?

[christina78]

Is there a certain age were you feel it is unhealthy to share a room with your child. Our 9 year old girl and 11 year old boy out grew our bed, but we put bunk beds in there for them because they still want to sleep near us. They have there own bedrooms with their own beds in them, but they would just prefer to sleep in our room. We are fine with it, but sometimes I worry that it isn't healthy for them. Any thoughts?

[teraze]

If you and your family like it and don't feel there are problems with privacy, I doubt it's unhealthy.  Once they reach the age of exploration they'll likely hit up their own rooms (or do what you and your mate do, and be creative about timing and location!).

I bed-share with our almost 8month old DS and my husband's slept in our room only a handful of times since DS' birth.  It's not weird to us at all - only when it comes up in conversation with people outside of our little family do I ever question what we're doing...  What works is what works, is how I like to think of it.

[christina78]

That's what I try and remind myself, is that if it's working for us than it should be fine.  But it's hard not to second guess yourself when you do things that others may not consider "normal".  Thanks for responding. :)

[Mama_of_1]

For us it would probably be too old but if you and your DH are ok with the arrangement and the kids have no desire to sleep in their own rooms, keep it up for a few more months and then ask them.  Maybe they feel like they "ought" to?

[christina78]

Originally Posted by Mama_of_1 

For us it would probably be too old but if you and your DH are ok with the arrangement and the kids have no desire to sleep in their own rooms, keep it up for a few more months and then ask them.  Maybe they feel like they "ought" to?

Thanks, but I have actually tried to get them in their own room for years now.  Sometimes they will go for a few night but then they start creeping back into our room. They would wait for us to fall asleep and then creep into our bed. We ended up putting the bunk beds in because the over crowding was giving me horrible back pain.  I will continue to encourage them to sleep in their own room, and pray that they will eventually start desiring more privacy.

[Mama_of_1]

What if you made a sleeping arrangement where they slept in a room together?  They like sleeping with you but maybe they'll be ok with sleeping in the same room as each other?  At a certain point, if it gets to be too much for you, or if you notice development that they ought to have privacy, you can be a bit more "encouraging" about the sleeping arrangements.

[MJB]

We are cosleepers, but my school-aged kids sleep in their own room. I'm trying to get them to stop sleeping in the same bunk without much luck. I think it's important for kids to be able to sleep alone. My oldest son definitely can but my second cries if his brother isn't home or for whatever other reason he has to sleep alone. Like I said, we're working on it. I think he'll be fine by the time he turns 7. Honestly, I think 11 is probably too old. I wouldn't put them in a room together either, at their ages, since they are not the same sex. 

[christina78]

Well, I don't really have a choice of giving them their own rooms our home is not big enough, so they do have to share a bedroom.

[Kobaby]

I only have a 7 month old so I can't really give an opinion about older kids sleeping with parents... It's fine for older kids to sleep in the same room as their parents in my husband's culture, so I think your set-up sounds fine to me.

I don't think 11 or 12 or even 17 is too old to for siblings of a different gender to share a room. They will most likely negotiate when to get dressed amongst themselves, and that would be the only concern as far as I can see...?

[2xy]

Originally Posted by christina78 

Well, I don't really have a choice of giving them their own rooms our home is not big enough, so they do have to share a bedroom.

Originally Posted by christina78 

They have there own bedrooms with their own beds in them, but they would just prefer to sleep in our room.

Which is it?

[christina78]

Originally Posted by 2xy 

Which is it?

Sorry if my wording was confusing.   I guess I should have said they have their own *bedroom* not "bedrooms".