How to avoid a playdate as nicely as possible? - Page 2

[Lisa1970]

I would just tell her that you are busy. She will get the hint. Then come fall, I would address it with staff at the school with the teacher or such if the harassment continues. You son should not have to go through this. But, I would not even give an option for the playdate. I kind of get the impression that you asked him about going because you were more concerned with having to tell the mom no than you were with how it would impact your son. You should have just taken care of it and said no in the first place. I understand how it is so hard to tell the other mom no and it is easier to just have the son do it. I have been guilty over this myself. But, you should not have even asked him and should have said no yourself.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Bratton 

How about just something like, "Well actually, DS has been telling me that the two of them haven't really been getting along lately. You know how kids can be at this age....etc" or something like that. Just kind of vague but nicely let her know he doesn't really want to. I would not place the blame on her child in the initial email. Just say that the TWO of them aren't getting along. If she persists, THEN you can say "Well, this is kind of awkward. I didn't really want to say anything because I do like you and your DD but DS says that she teases and chases him a lot and he gets frustrated with it. I know it's not a big deal, kids are kids and they all act silly sometimes, my son included. That's why I didn't say anything to you before. I was hoping that they would work it out and get past it on their own so they could continue their friendship but DS really doesn't seem to want to play right now and I don't want to lie to you about it."

I like this answer, except for the bolded. It is a big deal. Wouldn't you think it's a big deal if someone was constantly pestering, stalking, and teasing you at work? I have worked with people like that.

Yes, kids will be kids....but they need someone to teach them how to behave so that they don't act this way as adults. Trivializing it does not facilitate that sort of teaching, IMO.

I prefer: "Well, this is kind of awkward. I didn't really want to say anything because I do like you and your DD but DS says that she teases and chases him a lot and he gets frustrated with it. I was hoping that they would work it out and get past it on their own so they could continue their friendship but DS really doesn't seem to want to play right now and I don't want to lie to you about it."

[MissLotus]

I wouldn't make your son play with this girl.  He doesn't like being around her - with good reason.  Say that your summer is turning out to be really busy, but that you hope she & her family are having a great summer!  Do NOT offer excuses - just be polite and that's good enough.